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Бриллиантовая рука

< The Diamond Arm - 1968
Аленький цветочек Аленький цветочек
Белый Бим Чёрное ухо Белый Бим Чёрное ухо
Бриллиантовая рука The Diamond Arm
В бой идут одни «старики» В бой идут одни «старики»
... further results

Старший экономист «Гипрорыбы» Семён Семёнович Горбунков (Юрий Никулин) отправляется в заграничную туристическую поездку на круизном лайнере «Михаил Светлов». Там он знакомится со своим соседом по каюте, приятным молодым человеком Геннадием Петровичем Козодоевым «Гешей» (Андрей Миронов). Во время прогулки по восточному городу, проходя мимо местной аптеки, Семён Семёнович случайно поскальзывается на арбузной корке и получает вывих руки. Произнесённые им при этом слова «Чёрт побери!» опять же случайно совпадают с паролем для работающих в аптеке контрабандистов, которые принимают Семёна Семёновича за своего связника. При вправлении вывиха он теряет сознание...
  

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Итак, дорогие товарищи радиослушатели,

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я веду свой репортаж
из нашего морского порта!

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Через несколько минут,
этот белоснежный красавец лайнер

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отправится в очередной круиз,

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увозя в своих комфортабельных каютах

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большую группу советских туристов
в увлекательнейшее путешествие.

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Простите, пожалуйста...

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- Здравствуйте...
- Здравствуйте.

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- Э... скажите, пожалуйста, Ваше имя-отчество...
- Семён Семёнович Горбунков!

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А где Вы работаете?

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Старший экономист в "Гипрорыбе".

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Очень приятно...

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Семён Семёнович,

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что бы Вы могли сказать
нашим дорогим товарищам радиослушателям,

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э... перед отправлением
в это увлекательное путешествие.

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Вообще, по правде говоря,

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я не хотел ехать.

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Я думал купить жене шубу.

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- Х-х-х-х-ха...
Нет, шуба подождёт.

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Я считаю, главное - это поглядеть мир!

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А то действительно работает, работает...

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Шуба подождёт!

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Угу... значит Вы ещё никогда…

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Конечно, не был...

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Мы вообще дальше Дубровки никуда не ездили.
- Х-х-х-х-х-х-ха...

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Но и Вы, тоже едете за границу в первый раз?

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Нет, я никуда не еду.

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Мы провожаем папу!!!

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- Ой! Ну что же это такое...
- Ну разве можно!...

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Фрис-стрит, рыбна улица,

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- Аптека «Чиканук»...
- Лёлик, я всё прекрасно помню!

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Всё должно быть достоверно:
Упал, выругался...

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Чёрт возьми!
Ух, прости, "Чёрт побери!"

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Смотри, не перепутай!

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Травма, всё достоверно!...

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Как говорит наш дорогой шеф,
в нашем деле гланое - этот самый реализм!

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Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!

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Ну!...

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Пора, турыст!

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Нынадо...

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Иди...

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Добрый день!

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Добрый день!

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Это каюта шестнадцать,
или, пардон, я ошибся?

45
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Шестнадцатая. Вы тоже здесь едете?

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Да, будем знакомы - Козадоев
Геннадий Петрович...

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Очень приятно.
Горбунков Семён Семёнович...

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Приятно...

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надеюсь, мы подружимся.

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Конечно...

51
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А Вы какие-нибудь сувениры с собой берёте?

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Нет, нет, нет, нет, нет!

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А я взял...

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Водку?

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Х-ха, ха-ха-ха-ха!

56
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А вот я люблю песню про зайцев

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Про кого?

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Про зайцев.

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Сеня, про зайцев...

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Это не актуально!

61
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"Остров Невезения"!

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Весь покрытый зеленью, абсолютно весь,

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Остров Невезения в океане есть

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Остров Невезения в океане есть,

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Весь покрытый зеленью, абсолютно весь!

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Там живут несчастные люди-дикари,

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На лицо ужасные, добрые внутри,

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На лицо ужасные, добрые внутри,

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Там живут несчастные люди-дикари!

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Что они ни делают - не идут дела!

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Видно, в понедельник их мама родила.

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Видно, в понедельник их мама родила,

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Что они ни делают - не идут дела!

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Крокодил не ловится, не растёт кокос,

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Плачут, Богу молятся, не жалея слёз,

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Плачут, Богу молятся, не жалея слёз -

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Крокодил не ловится, не растёт кокос...

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Вроде не бездельники, и могли бы жить,

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Им бы понедельники взять и отменить,

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Им бы понедельники взять и отменить,

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Вроде не бездельники, и могли бы жить!

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Как назло острове нет календаря,

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Ребятня и взрослые пропадают зря,

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Ребятня и взрослые пропадают зря -

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На проклятом острове нет календаря!

86
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По такому случаю, с ночи до зари

87
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Плачут невезучие люди-дикари

88
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И рыдают бедные, и клянут беду,

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В день какой - неведомо, в никаком году!...

90
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Ва-ба-ба-ба-пфа-ба-ва-бэдум,

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Сэбо-заба-заба-заба-заба-забазо.

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О ес, би чел, лърай... уъе...

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Итак, господа мы с вами находимся
в так называемом Старом Городе.

94
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Во времена царствования императора
Шимудшина Шаха Третьего

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здесь, на этих холмах был расположен

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великолепнейший ансамбль,

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включающий в себя дворец...

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мечеть с двумя минаретами...

99
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гарем...

100
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О! Айб йох аннабаден. Томас каро ромаль.
Йом радо лико салем джарип погорелло.

101
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Лунда ханамарун, цигель, цигель, цигель, ай-люлю...
Люче парон, ай-люлю, ай-люлю...

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Ты!

103
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,447
Ты что, с ума сошёл?

104
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:20,948
Она мне хочет сказать, что что-то случилось...

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О! Рубиё-тубиё, лундо эхшо анабаран.
Цигель-цигель, ай-люлю!

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"Ай-люлю" потом. Ноуъ! Нихт! Нет!
Ни в коем случае!

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Ну почему, может ей что-нибудь надо?

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Что ей надо - я тебе потом скажу...

109
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Знаете, синьора, фрау, мисс,
к сожаленью ничего не выйдет!

110
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Руссо туристо…

111
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Облико морале… ферштейн?

112
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Всё, быстренько, пошли!

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А хак! Партеронна!

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Еро вас трухаля робитс!

115
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Разрешите поблагодарить Вас, Николай Иваныч,

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за Вашу интересную,
очень интересную экскурсию, спасибо!

117
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Товарищи, внимание!

118
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Сейчас у вас свободное время.

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Вы можете погулять по городу,

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но учтите,

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ровно в 17:00

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все должны быть на теплоходе!

123
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Без опозданий!

124
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Понятно?

125
00:13:13,806 --> 00:13:14,706
Всё!

126
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Геша!

127
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Геша!

128
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Что же ты меня бросил то?...

129
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Но кто ж тебя бросил... Жду...

130
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Вон туда!

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00:13:44,938 --> 00:13:46,688
Инкэс... тиора пэн?

132
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[Но где же он?]

133
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Морборит тэ, нэ собко.

134
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[Спокойно! Должен прийти!]

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Пурген ласт "Чёрт побери"?

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[Пароль старый - "Чёрт побери!"]

137
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:55,626
[Чёрт побери!]

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Щорт побери...

139
00:13:58,761 --> 00:14:00,261
Кемедэн райн, джёс сви ми
Михаил Светлов?

140
00:14:00,262 --> 00:14:02,062
[А он точно с теплохода «Михаил Светлов»?]

141
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[Нам сообщили так...]

142
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Чиэдиас брэк момэн трэйзи
[Теплоход через час уйдёт...]

143
00:14:06,235 --> 00:14:11,175
Туп лайтэк ту падо, исынты так! Мок пинту! Пасту
джурнэк, нэм туалай, ник ча ча ча, цуркадэло пик!

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[Заткнись!]

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00:14:12,965 --> 00:14:19,665
Бор! Ху мадонна диум бэйс! Дёп пэрин бако гаскара
тимьен бранно хима рэнчэс сярвэйс диньс хам дураля!

146
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:21,065
[Простите, погорячился...]

147
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Ты знаешь... А-а! А!

148
00:14:50,249 --> 00:14:51,249
Геша…

149
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:02,652
Геша!

150
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,170
Гражданочка…

151
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А...

152
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А-а-а!

153
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Чёрт побери!

154
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:21,312
- Щёрт побери, щёрт побери!
- А-а!

155
00:16:21,615 --> 00:16:22,615
Щёрт побери!

156
00:16:26,994 --> 00:16:28,894
А хап та капти, бьюпти хо!

157
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:29,947
Руссо?

158
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:31,224
Ага!...

159
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,524
Михаил Светлофф?

160
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Да, да!

161
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Сичи комас!

162
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А... тсщёрт побери!

163
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,848
Щёрт побери!

164
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,035
Щорт побери?...

165
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,845
Щорт побери!

166
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,355
А-а-а!!!

167
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:49,738
Квэтэ нумерам?
[Что с ним?]

168
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:52,416
Энгом свари посва,
[Действительно сильный вывих,]

169
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Гипсё срах нибедю...
[даже потерял сознание...]

170
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Кнём маргэ.
[Начнём.]

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Кнём.

172
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Берези но камонит.

173
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Экю.

174
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Чёрт побери,

175
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щёрт побери-и!

176
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Щёрт побери!

177
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Михаил Светлофф...

178
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Михаил Светлофф, у-у-у!!!

179
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Цигель, цигель, цигель, цигель...

180
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Цигель! Ха-га-га!

181
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- Цигель! Цигель...
- Щёрт побери!

182
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Чёрт...

183
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:35,855
Цигель, цигель, цигель!

184
00:18:35,856 --> 00:18:37,106
Щёрт побери!

185
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:41,245
Ап тун!

186
00:18:41,545 --> 00:18:42,445
Ъых!

187
00:18:42,894 --> 00:18:45,794
Ыи-хе-хе-хе-хе-хе-хе-хе,
эе-хе-хе-х, ыи-х!

188
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:02,934
Чёрт побери!

189
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,205
Чёрт побери!

190
00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:12,476
Шьёрт по-бъе-ри!

191
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,060
Уъот кальс мэн?

192
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,460
Ун бланчинэ гоуф...

193
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,011
- Руссо?
- Руссо, руссо, руссо!

194
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:25,911
- Михаил Светлофф?
- Михаил Светлов! Это - я, я, я!

195
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:28,801
Дэтси аин шматси?
[Куда ты смотрел старый осёл?]

196
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:31,292
Взъерра мод...
[Но тот тоже сказал пароль "Чёрт побери!"]

197
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:34,191
Чёрт побери, чёрт побери!
Хэрок эскусто бэн шлак мордюк!

198
00:19:34,192 --> 00:19:35,992
Хэрок эскусс модюк, тобиш нак!

199
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,292
[Дальше следует непереводимая игра слов,

200
00:19:38,392 --> 00:19:40,592
с использованием местных
идиоматических выражений.]

201
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:42,893
- ...элэдиас, элэдиас...
- ...квах тус смайтис супадоис, димкос страх.

202
00:19:42,894 --> 00:19:45,994
- Мак грэдэ манжер...
- ...дяинзим схах, цигель-цигель, ай-лю-лю

203
00:19:45,995 --> 00:19:49,495
Товарищ, товарищ, товарищ, хорошо бы
ай-лю-лю, цигель, цигель - время, товарищ!

204
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,811
Эти кретины уверяли, что он был без сознания...

205
00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:15,811
Значит, этот лопух ничего не знает.

206
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,009
Отлично...

207
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:34,401
Ну что? Что? Что это такое?

208
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:36,810
Ничего особенного - обыкновенная контрабанда..

209
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:38,654
- Как?
- Кон-тра-бан-да!

210
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:39,755
А-ах!

211
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:41,700
Ну что Вы так, Семён Семёнович...

212
00:20:42,101 --> 00:20:43,101
Спокойно…

213
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,600
Выпейте!

214
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,304
Я не пью...

215
00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:48,622
Читали в «Неделе», отдел для, дома для семьи...

216
00:20:48,822 --> 00:20:50,222
Врачи рекомендуют:

217
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:53,026
успокаивает нервную систему, расширяет сосуды...

218
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,126
Пейте.

219
00:20:56,648 --> 00:20:57,758
Пейте, пейте...

220
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,505
- Товарищ капитан,
- Да.

221
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:06,105
но что ж мне теперь делать?

222
00:21:06,205 --> 00:21:08,605
Да ничего! Отдыхайте, танцуйте, веселитесь...

223
00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:12,005
Только прошу Вас, о контрабанде никому ни слова!

224
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,305
Да меня... меня же будут спрашивать, что с рукой?

225
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:15,405
А Вы говорите:

226
00:21:15,605 --> 00:21:17,905
поскользнулся, упал...

227
00:21:18,505 --> 00:21:19,805
закрытый перелом...

228
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,231
Потерял сознание, очнулся -

229
00:21:22,731 --> 00:21:23,731
гипс!

230
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,701
Поскользнулся...

231
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,902
- Упал.
- Упал.

232
00:21:27,002 --> 00:21:28,102
Закрытый перелом...

233
00:21:28,202 --> 00:21:30,002
Потерял сознание, очнулся - гипс.

234
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,123
Правильно!

235
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,783
А про ЭТО...

236
00:21:33,233 --> 00:21:34,833
Я сообщу, куда следует...

237
00:21:35,546 --> 00:21:36,546
Спасибо!

238
00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:42,750
Неужели ты ничего не помнишь?

239
00:21:43,637 --> 00:21:44,837
- Осторожно!
- Осторожнас...

240
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:46,764
Почему, помню...

241
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:48,100
Что помнишь?

242
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:49,625
Поскользнулся…

243
00:21:49,635 --> 00:21:50,535
Так.

244
00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:51,544
Потерял сознание…

245
00:21:51,554 --> 00:21:52,454
Так.

246
00:21:52,654 --> 00:21:53,654
Очнулся, гипс…

247
00:21:53,664 --> 00:21:54,464
Всё?

248
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,374
Всё!

249
00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,609
Лучше бы я упал вместо тебя!

250
00:21:58,709 --> 00:22:00,209
Что ты Геша... спасибо.

251
00:22:00,809 --> 00:22:02,609
Береги руку, Сеня, береги!

252
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,222
Надя расстроится...

253
00:22:05,232 --> 00:22:06,132
Что делать...

254
00:22:06,232 --> 00:22:07,732
Такова «сё ля ви», как говорят у них...

255
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,621
- А-а!
-А-а!

256
00:22:11,473 --> 00:22:12,573
Прости, друг!

257
00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:53,697
Товарищ, мне уже уходить?

258
00:22:53,797 --> 00:22:55,797
Да проходите, товарищ, не задерживайте.

259
00:22:56,335 --> 00:22:58,035
- Совсем?
- Да!

260
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:10,404
Неужели капитан их не предупредил?

261
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:11,866
Что делать?

262
00:23:12,985 --> 00:23:14,485
Но! Вот он!

263
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,478
Всё в порядке, товар как в сейфе!

264
00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:18,005
- А ключ?
- Что?

265
00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:20,399
Как говорит наш любимый шеф,

266
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:21,699
если человек идиот -

267
00:23:21,799 --> 00:23:22,899
то это надолго.

268
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,100
Лёлик, я не понимаю, о чем ты говоришь?

269
00:23:24,101 --> 00:23:25,301
Сейчас поймёшь!

270
00:23:25,401 --> 00:23:26,401
К шефу!

271
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:43,497
Только без рук!

272
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:07,063
Куда поедем?

273
00:24:08,924 --> 00:24:09,924
Домой.

274
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:15,414
Значит, за границей побывали?

275
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:17,833
Да, побывал!

276
00:24:19,276 --> 00:24:20,476
А что делать сейчас?

277
00:24:20,576 --> 00:24:22,076
Куда мне, в милицию? А может домой?

278
00:24:22,379 --> 00:24:23,589
Так я и еду домой...

279
00:24:24,882 --> 00:24:25,883
А-а!

280
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,000
Я ж, не сказал ему адреса,

281
00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:29,752
куда он меня везёт?

282
00:24:30,112 --> 00:24:32,512
А здесь в город только одна дорога!

283
00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:35,315
Пожалуйста, Морская 21, квартира 9,

284
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:37,843
Третий подъезд...

285
00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:39,945
Третий этаж...

286
00:24:41,356 --> 00:24:42,756
Что это у Вас с рукой?

287
00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:44,308
Почему он интересуется?

288
00:24:44,408 --> 00:24:45,908
Что это простое любопытство?

289
00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:47,905
Подозрительный тип...

290
00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:50,574
Поскользнулся, упал...

291
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:52,408
Закрытый перелом...

292
00:24:52,508 --> 00:24:54,108
Потерял сознание, очнулся - гипс.

293
00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:56,108
Вы в самодеятельности участвуете?

294
00:24:56,413 --> 00:24:57,313
Участвую.

295
00:24:57,323 --> 00:24:58,923
Зачем я соврал, я ж не учавствую?

296
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,266
Зачем он спросил?

297
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:01,966
Зубы заговаривает...

298
00:25:02,753 --> 00:25:04,253
Очень подозрительный тип!

299
00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:06,897
Почему он свернул?

300
00:25:07,097 --> 00:25:08,197
Ведь дорога прямо!

301
00:25:08,297 --> 00:25:09,497
А там ремонт...

302
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,135
Объезд...

303
00:25:12,513 --> 00:25:13,713
Остановитесь, возьмём!

304
00:25:13,813 --> 00:25:16,013
Не положено, инструкция!

305
00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:18,641
Не взял попутных - это не таксист!

306
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:19,977
Бандит!

307
00:25:23,732 --> 00:25:25,232
Почему сразу не представились?

308
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:26,742
Я хотел сперва присмотреться,

309
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,318
проверить, подойдёт ли он нам...

310
00:25:28,418 --> 00:25:30,318
Ну и как, проверили?

311
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:32,097
Проверил, товарищ полковник, -

312
00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:33,950
подойдёт.

313
00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,344
Я никак не рассчитывал, что он...

314
00:25:37,354 --> 00:25:38,154
гипсом...

315
00:25:38,164 --> 00:25:39,564
Так точно, товарищ полковник.

316
00:25:39,990 --> 00:25:41,190
Наверно мне бы надо…

317
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:42,200
Не надо!

318
00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:44,426
- Он согласился?
- Согласился!

319
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:46,651
Теперь вот такое предложение, а что если...

320
00:25:46,661 --> 00:25:47,861
- Не стоит!
- Ясно.

321
00:25:47,961 --> 00:25:49,061
Тогда может быть нужно…

322
00:25:49,071 --> 00:25:50,271
- Не нужно!
- Понятно...

323
00:25:50,371 --> 00:25:51,971
- Разрешите хотя бы…
- Вот это попробуйте!

324
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,200
Вам поручена эта операция, так что действуйте!

325
00:25:56,300 --> 00:25:57,700
Докладывайте, что дальше!

326
00:25:58,244 --> 00:25:59,544
Слушаюсь, товарищ полковник!

327
00:26:00,144 --> 00:26:02,844
Когда мы с ним, таким образом, познакомились,

328
00:26:02,944 --> 00:26:04,344
я изложил наш план.

329
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,450
Что мне теперь делать?

330
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:07,400
Ничего,

331
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,700
живите как жили, сами клюнут.

332
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,300
Они будут следить за Вами, а мы - за ними.

333
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,900
И как только попытаются снять -

334
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:15,300
мы их возьмём!

335
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,000
Ага, вроде живца,

336
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,800
понимаю... сам рыбак!

337
00:26:19,068 --> 00:26:20,818
Они, конечно, предложат большой выкуп,

338
00:26:21,239 --> 00:26:22,339
а я ещё поторгуюсь.

339
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,540
Не думаю,

340
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,840
зачем им себя выдавать?

341
00:26:24,940 --> 00:26:26,940
Они же уверены, что Вы ничего не знаете,

342
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,540
Они попытаются получить свой товар бесплатно

343
00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:31,876
и незаметно для Вас...

344
00:26:32,584 --> 00:26:34,184
Как же можно с человека срезать гипс

345
00:26:34,284 --> 00:26:35,184
незаметно?

346
00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:36,161
Можно...

347
00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:38,662
Я, правда, не знаю, как они будут действовать...

348
00:26:38,762 --> 00:26:39,862
Но человека можно...

349
00:26:39,962 --> 00:26:40,962
напоить,

350
00:26:41,062 --> 00:26:42,062
усыпить,

351
00:26:42,362 --> 00:26:43,362
оглушить,

352
00:26:43,462 --> 00:26:45,162
ну, в общем, с бесчувственного тела;

353
00:26:45,564 --> 00:26:46,864
наконец с трупа...

354
00:26:46,874 --> 00:26:47,874
Угу...

355
00:26:49,135 --> 00:26:50,535
С чьего трупа?

356
00:26:51,130 --> 00:26:53,130
Ну... я уверен, что до этого не дойдёт...

357
00:26:56,112 --> 00:26:57,112
Михал Иваныч,

358
00:26:57,215 --> 00:26:58,715
а нельзя ли, чтоб этот гипс вместо меня

359
00:26:58,815 --> 00:27:00,215
поносил кто-нибудь другой?

360
00:27:01,417 --> 00:27:02,717
А-а-а... да.

361
00:27:02,802 --> 00:27:04,502
Вы, конечно, можете отказаться,

362
00:27:04,572 --> 00:27:05,672
Да нет, я не трус,

363
00:27:07,017 --> 00:27:08,117
но я боюсь...

364
00:27:08,729 --> 00:27:11,229
Боюсь, смогу ли я, способен ли?

365
00:27:12,726 --> 00:27:13,826
Я думаю, Семён Семёныч,

366
00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:16,226
каждый человек способен на многое.

367
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:17,700
Но, к сожалению,

368
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,600
не каждый знает, на что он способен.

369
00:27:22,186 --> 00:27:24,086
Да-да, бывает...

370
00:27:24,245 --> 00:27:25,945
Теперь договоримся о связи...

371
00:27:33,434 --> 00:27:35,134
Ну что Вы, Семён Семёнович...

372
00:27:35,675 --> 00:27:37,675
А-а… А!

373
00:27:38,310 --> 00:27:39,210
Минуточку.

374
00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:41,726
Связь будем держать так:

375
00:27:41,836 --> 00:27:42,736
Угу...

376
00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:43,897
Если вы нам понадобитесь…

377
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,197
Вы ко мне приедете.

378
00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:46,597
Если мы Вам будем нужны…

379
00:27:46,607 --> 00:27:48,307
Я вызываю такси на своё имя.

380
00:27:48,407 --> 00:27:50,407
Приеду я или мой помощник, ясно?

381
00:27:50,417 --> 00:27:51,317
Угу.

382
00:27:51,327 --> 00:27:52,327
Держите!

383
00:27:52,573 --> 00:27:53,973
У-у... Ай-й...

384
00:27:55,755 --> 00:27:56,955
Спасибо Вам большое,

385
00:27:57,715 --> 00:27:59,115
Вы уж меня извините что я…

386
00:27:59,620 --> 00:28:01,620
Ничего, ничего, у нас бывает и похуже...

387
00:28:02,594 --> 00:28:03,794
Может к нам зайдём?

388
00:28:03,977 --> 00:28:05,077
С женой познакомлю...

389
00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:06,630
Семён Семёнович!

390
00:28:06,791 --> 00:28:08,291
Мы же с Вами условились:

391
00:28:08,494 --> 00:28:10,894
никто не должен знать!

392
00:28:12,555 --> 00:28:13,555
И Надя?

393
00:28:13,655 --> 00:28:14,655
Никто!

394
00:28:14,755 --> 00:28:15,755
Ясно...

395
00:28:20,357 --> 00:28:21,757
Семён Семёнович, а вещи?

396
00:28:35,474 --> 00:28:36,674
Сеня, открой!

397
00:28:46,929 --> 00:28:48,679
С приездом, Семён Семёнович!

398
00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:49,610
Спасибо!

399
00:28:49,620 --> 00:28:50,920
Извините, что так поздно...

400
00:28:50,961 --> 00:28:52,061
Вы сами знаете...

401
00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:54,421
Общественное дело - прежде всего!

402
00:28:55,145 --> 00:28:56,345
Что у Вас с рукой?

403
00:28:57,123 --> 00:28:57,923
Да...

404
00:28:57,924 --> 00:28:58,924
Семён Семёнович...

405
00:28:59,211 --> 00:29:01,611
В среду у нас в Красном уголке ваша лекция.

406
00:29:01,711 --> 00:29:02,861
Объявление уже висит.

407
00:29:02,967 --> 00:29:04,067
Какая лекция?

408
00:29:04,152 --> 00:29:05,152
Ну как же,

409
00:29:05,257 --> 00:29:06,257
кроме Вас

410
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:08,862
из нашего ЖЭКа там никто не был.

411
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:11,414
Тема лекции: «Нью-Йорк-город контрастов»

412
00:29:11,543 --> 00:29:12,943
Да я не был в Нью-Йорке!

413
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,150
А где же Вы были?

414
00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:15,650
Я был в Стамбуле, в Марселе…

415
00:29:15,781 --> 00:29:18,081
Пожалуйста, Стамбул - город контрастов,
какая разница,

416
00:29:18,181 --> 00:29:20,181
объявление перепишем!
А что у Вас с рукой?

417
00:29:21,307 --> 00:29:22,407
Закрытый перелом,

418
00:29:22,507 --> 00:29:23,707
потерял сознание,

419
00:29:23,808 --> 00:29:25,008
очнулся - гипс...

420
00:29:25,035 --> 00:29:26,185
Отлично, отлично,

421
00:29:26,235 --> 00:29:27,485
скромненько, но со вкусом...

422
00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:28,535
А-а-ах!

423
00:29:29,450 --> 00:29:30,950
Какая прелесть!

424
00:29:31,551 --> 00:29:32,551
Хх-а-а-а!

425
00:29:32,552 --> 00:29:33,052
Ф-ф-ф!

426
00:29:33,053 --> 00:29:34,453
Ах-х! Ххы...

427
00:29:34,554 --> 00:29:35,954
Какая прелесть!

428
00:29:35,991 --> 00:29:37,641
А что у Вас с рукой, Вы говорите,
Семён Семёнович?

429
00:29:37,730 --> 00:29:39,230
Это Вам! Сувенир...

430
00:29:39,330 --> 00:29:40,730
Что Вы...

431
00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:42,610
Спасибо.

432
00:29:42,877 --> 00:29:44,077
Спасибо, Семён Семёнович...

433
00:29:45,132 --> 00:29:46,232
Кнопочку нажмите.

434
00:29:46,283 --> 00:29:47,183
Да?!

435
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:48,333
А-а-а-а!

436
00:29:48,334 --> 00:29:49,834
Ха-ха-ха-ха, ха-ха-ха-ха!

437
00:29:49,935 --> 00:29:50,935
Гы-ы...

438
00:29:51,079 --> 00:29:52,179
Смешно, да?

439
00:29:52,489 --> 00:29:53,489
Очень.

440
00:29:55,929 --> 00:29:56,929
Спасибо.

441
00:30:01,772 --> 00:30:02,672
Сеня...

442
00:30:02,731 --> 00:30:03,531
А...

443
00:30:03,732 --> 00:30:05,232
А ты Софи Лорен видел?

444
00:30:06,033 --> 00:30:06,833
Не-к...

445
00:30:07,527 --> 00:30:08,927
А кока-колу пил?

446
00:30:09,862 --> 00:30:10,662
Угу.

447
00:30:10,863 --> 00:30:11,963
Ну и как?

448
00:30:12,264 --> 00:30:13,264
К-к... [фигня]

449
00:30:13,465 --> 00:30:14,365
У-у...

450
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:16,500
Спи, спи..

451
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:17,700
Сплю.

452
00:31:17,574 --> 00:31:18,774
Врачи рекомендуют…

453
00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:19,974
Снотворное...

454
00:31:20,875 --> 00:31:21,775
В неделе...

455
00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:23,075
для дома, для семьи...

456
00:31:26,821 --> 00:31:27,821
Сядь...

457
00:31:31,346 --> 00:31:33,546
Скажи, всё-таки, что у тебя с рукой?

458
00:31:34,312 --> 00:31:35,512
Поскользнулся, упал...

459
00:31:35,612 --> 00:31:36,712
Закрытый перелом...

460
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:38,412
Потерял сознание, очнулся - гипс.

461
00:31:38,515 --> 00:31:40,915
Это я уже слышала, не надо меня щадить,

462
00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:42,940
пусть самое страшное, но правда.

463
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:44,840
Говори, что у тебя с рукой?

464
00:31:45,248 --> 00:31:46,248
Я и говорю,

465
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:48,100
шёл по улице, поскользнулся, уп...

466
00:31:49,627 --> 00:31:50,527
хм...

467
00:31:50,627 --> 00:31:51,727
ну, вот...

468
00:31:55,103 --> 00:31:56,503
Не умеешь ты врать, Сеня!

469
00:31:57,809 --> 00:31:59,109
Я знаю что у тебя там.

470
00:32:00,756 --> 00:32:01,856
Кто тебе сказал?

471
00:32:04,111 --> 00:32:06,111
У тебя там не закрытый перелом,

472
00:32:08,833 --> 00:32:10,833
а что, что у тебя там?

473
00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:15,233
Золото, бриллианты!

474
00:32:16,410 --> 00:32:17,610
Брось эти шуточки,

475
00:32:18,956 --> 00:32:20,156
у тебя там не закрытый,

476
00:32:22,086 --> 00:32:23,686
а открытый перелом!

477
00:32:29,046 --> 00:32:30,146
Пошли спать.

478
00:33:04,921 --> 00:33:05,921
Мя-аув!

479
00:34:25,705 --> 00:34:27,305
За это убивать надо!

480
00:34:28,461 --> 00:34:30,961
Лёлик только без рук, я всё исправлю...

481
00:34:30,962 --> 00:34:32,662
Чтоб ты исдох!

482
00:34:33,134 --> 00:34:35,084
Чтоб я видел тебя у гробу,

483
00:34:35,085 --> 00:34:37,085
у белых тапках!

484
00:34:39,775 --> 00:34:40,775
Чтоб ты жил

485
00:34:41,781 --> 00:34:42,781
на одну

486
00:34:43,303 --> 00:34:44,403
зарплату!

487
00:34:50,275 --> 00:34:51,475
Виктор Николаевич,

488
00:34:52,534 --> 00:34:54,534
Вы что, читать не умеете?

489
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:56,139
А?

490
00:34:56,751 --> 00:34:57,651
Х-х-х...

491
00:34:58,196 --> 00:34:59,796
Мама, смотри я могу как... хи...

492
00:35:00,027 --> 00:35:01,627
Ну разве можно так...

493
00:35:02,857 --> 00:35:04,357
- Нельзя.
- Ну-ка постой...

494
00:35:04,744 --> 00:35:05,744
Вот, так...

495
00:35:06,287 --> 00:35:09,387
А я Вам говорю - наши дворы планируются
не для гуляний!

496
00:35:09,522 --> 00:35:10,522
А для чего?

497
00:35:10,623 --> 00:35:11,723
Для эстетики.

498
00:35:12,155 --> 00:35:13,255
А где ж ему гулять?

499
00:35:13,797 --> 00:35:15,897
Вам предоставлена отдельная квартира.

500
00:35:15,898 --> 00:35:16,998
- Да.
- Там и гуляйте!

501
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,049
А где ж ему?...

502
00:35:18,050 --> 00:35:19,250
Ну зачем так, зачем...

503
00:35:19,268 --> 00:35:20,268
Доброе утро!

504
00:35:20,269 --> 00:35:21,269
Здраствуйте!

505
00:35:21,270 --> 00:35:22,970
Вот я, Варвара Сергеевна, был в Лондоне,

506
00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:25,100
и там собаки гуляют везде...

507
00:35:26,658 --> 00:35:27,958
Собака - друг человека!

508
00:35:28,803 --> 00:35:31,103
Я не знаю, как там в Лондоне...

509
00:35:31,203 --> 00:35:32,253
Я не была...

510
00:35:33,092 --> 00:35:35,092
Может там собака - друг человека!

511
00:35:35,839 --> 00:35:36,839
А у нас...

512
00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:38,817
Управдом - друг человека!

513
00:36:10,652 --> 00:36:11,552
Аллё!

514
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:13,170
Папаша,

515
00:36:14,012 --> 00:36:15,512
огоньку не найдётся?

516
00:36:16,978 --> 00:36:17,878
А-а?

517
00:36:19,959 --> 00:36:21,259
А, а-а, а...

518
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:24,071
Ты что - глухонемой, что ли?

519
00:36:24,171 --> 00:36:25,071
Да...

520
00:36:25,986 --> 00:36:26,986
Понятно...

521
00:36:34,599 --> 00:36:35,599
Вот он!

522
00:36:43,003 --> 00:36:44,003
Лопух...

523
00:36:44,682 --> 00:36:47,082
Такого возьмём без шума и пыли!

524
00:36:47,839 --> 00:36:50,839
Давай, пригласи его на рыбалку,

525
00:36:51,589 --> 00:36:53,989
на чёрные камни, как условились.

526
00:36:54,490 --> 00:36:56,090
С ночёвкой пригласи...

527
00:36:56,378 --> 00:36:57,778
Только не суетись:

528
00:36:58,702 --> 00:37:00,102
дитям - мороженое,

529
00:37:00,636 --> 00:37:02,036
его бабе - цветы.

530
00:37:02,664 --> 00:37:04,064
Смотри, не перепутай!

531
00:37:05,622 --> 00:37:06,622
Кутузов!

532
00:37:10,021 --> 00:37:10,921
А-гы!

533
00:37:13,392 --> 00:37:14,292
Гё-э!

534
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:27,740
Идиот!

535
00:37:28,067 --> 00:37:29,767
Дитям - мороженое!

536
00:37:37,646 --> 00:37:38,546
О-о!

537
00:37:40,385 --> 00:37:41,785
Ах глаз - ерунда, пройдёт!

538
00:37:42,735 --> 00:37:44,335
Сеня, как твоя рука?

539
00:37:44,830 --> 00:37:45,730
Ничего.

540
00:37:46,116 --> 00:37:47,416
- Не болит?
- Не-а.

541
00:37:47,558 --> 00:37:48,858
Ну-ка, пошевели пальчиками...

542
00:37:49,168 --> 00:37:50,268
Нет, не этими, вот этими...

543
00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:51,147
Ага...

544
00:37:51,148 --> 00:37:52,148
Вот, всё в порядке!

545
00:37:53,628 --> 00:37:54,528
Пойдёт.

546
00:37:54,607 --> 00:37:55,707
Геннадий Петрович,

547
00:37:55,717 --> 00:37:57,717
Вы, как Сенин друг, должны повлиять на него.

548
00:37:57,836 --> 00:38:00,036
Он слишком легкомысленно относится к этому.

549
00:38:00,119 --> 00:38:02,199
Вы знаете, ведь он хотел меня обмануть...

550
00:38:02,299 --> 00:38:05,799
У папы там совсем не то,
что он всем говорит, хи-хи...

551
00:38:08,356 --> 00:38:09,356
А что?

552
00:38:10,736 --> 00:38:12,936
Ведь у него там не закрытый,

553
00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:15,410
а открытый перелом!

554
00:38:16,443 --> 00:38:17,996
Хэ-х-х-хэ...

555
00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:19,358
Дзинь...

556
00:38:19,509 --> 00:38:20,509
Иди к маме!

557
00:38:20,525 --> 00:38:22,567
Сень, давай махнём на рыбалку а?

558
00:38:22,568 --> 00:38:24,868
Поедем на Чёрные Камни,

559
00:38:25,128 --> 00:38:26,728
возьмём лодку, с ночёвкой,

560
00:38:26,730 --> 00:38:28,230
отсидим вечернюю зорьку.

561
00:38:28,231 --> 00:38:29,231
Сень?

562
00:38:34,642 --> 00:38:35,842
- Ну?
- Нет,

563
00:38:37,586 --> 00:38:38,806
с ночёвкой не поеду,

564
00:38:38,906 --> 00:38:40,006
боюсь застудить.

565
00:38:40,509 --> 00:38:41,509
Давай с утра?

566
00:38:41,559 --> 00:38:42,359
Всё!

567
00:38:42,786 --> 00:38:43,786
Давай с утра,

568
00:38:44,537 --> 00:38:46,237
как тебе угодно, значит с утра?!

569
00:38:46,285 --> 00:38:47,585
- С утра!
- Всё!

570
00:38:48,050 --> 00:38:49,850
Па-ба-ба-ба-ба-ба-ба-ба!

571
00:38:50,451 --> 00:38:51,551
О ес би чел...

572
00:38:51,651 --> 00:38:52,651
Максим...

573
00:38:53,615 --> 00:38:54,715
Ты что делаешь?

574
00:38:55,295 --> 00:38:56,795
Ну разве можно так?

575
00:38:56,796 --> 00:38:58,396
Извинись, сейчас же, перед дядей!

576
00:38:58,447 --> 00:38:59,747
Ха-ха-ха-хы!

577
00:38:59,748 --> 00:39:01,198
Хороший мальчик...

578
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,100
Э-эх...

579
00:39:07,301 --> 00:39:08,901
Авторский коллектив:

580
00:39:09,293 --> 00:39:12,093
художник - Маргарита Семёнова,

581
00:39:12,193 --> 00:39:15,493
архитектор - Рогаль Левицкая,

582
00:39:15,503 --> 00:39:19,503
главный конструктор - Альберт Мудрик.

583
00:39:19,786 --> 00:39:22,836
Летний комбинированный костюм

584
00:39:22,936 --> 00:39:25,136
«Универсал-69»

585
00:39:25,336 --> 00:39:26,936
Поощрительная премия

586
00:39:27,038 --> 00:39:29,738
на межобластном форуме современной одежды

587
00:39:29,858 --> 00:39:30,858
в Житомере...

588
00:39:30,958 --> 00:39:34,061
Оригинальное конструктивное решение

589
00:39:34,161 --> 00:39:37,161
позволяет вам легко превратить пиджак...

590
00:39:38,087 --> 00:39:39,087
в куртку!

591
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:44,638
Но это ещё не всё!

592
00:39:45,342 --> 00:39:47,542
Лёгким движением руки

593
00:39:47,543 --> 00:39:50,343
брюки превращаются...

594
00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:54,549
брюки превращаются...

595
00:39:56,326 --> 00:39:58,926
превращаются брюки...

596
00:40:01,533 --> 00:40:03,233
в элегантные шорты!

597
00:40:03,881 --> 00:40:07,581
Простите, маленькая техническая неувязка...

598
00:40:08,036 --> 00:40:11,036
И, наконец, последняя модель -

599
00:40:11,580 --> 00:40:16,780
пляжный ансамбль «Мини-бикини-69»!

600
00:40:35,961 --> 00:40:36,961
Что случилось,

601
00:40:37,505 --> 00:40:38,605
почему шеф здесь?

602
00:40:38,606 --> 00:40:39,614
Всё меняется,

603
00:40:39,686 --> 00:40:41,351
операцию будем проводить у Белой Скалы...

604
00:40:41,352 --> 00:40:42,812
Почему не на Чёрных Камнях?

605
00:40:42,818 --> 00:40:44,218
Там днём слишком людно...

606
00:40:44,785 --> 00:40:46,571
Но у Белой Скалы нет клёва...

607
00:40:46,572 --> 00:40:47,472
Клёв!...

608
00:40:47,572 --> 00:40:49,222
Клёв будет, это я беру на себя!

609
00:40:49,223 --> 00:40:50,269
Клевать будет так,

610
00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:52,270
что клиент позабудет обо всём на свете!

611
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:54,017
Дальше всё идёт по плану?

612
00:40:54,067 --> 00:40:55,467
Усё так, как условились.

613
00:40:55,568 --> 00:40:57,398
Ты слегка оглушаешь его...

614
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,300
Держи!

615
00:40:59,757 --> 00:41:00,657
Лёлик,

616
00:41:01,190 --> 00:41:02,490
но это же не эстетично...

617
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,339
Зато дёшево, надёжно и практично!

618
00:41:04,641 --> 00:41:06,041
Быстренько снимаем гипс,

619
00:41:06,318 --> 00:41:07,318
и смываемося!

620
00:41:07,319 --> 00:41:08,319
А моё алиби?

621
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,670
Ах да, ты остаёшься
со следами насилия на лице...

622
00:41:11,228 --> 00:41:13,528
Так же, как жертва нападения неизвестных...

623
00:41:13,592 --> 00:41:15,592
Лёлек! Только я тебя прошу чтобы...

624
00:41:15,593 --> 00:41:17,543
Не беспокойся, Козлодоев...

625
00:41:18,198 --> 00:41:19,298
Козадоев!

626
00:41:19,949 --> 00:41:21,149
Казладоев!

627
00:41:22,284 --> 00:41:23,784
Буду бить аккуратно,

628
00:41:24,154 --> 00:41:25,254
но сильно!

629
00:41:25,455 --> 00:41:26,655
Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!

630
00:41:27,383 --> 00:41:28,683
Добрый вечер, Марья Николаевна.

631
00:41:28,783 --> 00:41:30,083
Добрый вечер, Семён Семёнович.

632
00:41:30,183 --> 00:41:31,383
Куда это на ночь глядя?

633
00:41:31,483 --> 00:41:32,983
Да вот, рано утром на рыбалку,

634
00:41:33,562 --> 00:41:35,612
хватились, а хлеба нет...

635
00:41:36,182 --> 00:41:37,622
Счас на проспект к дежурной,

636
00:41:37,986 --> 00:41:39,086
далеко, а надо…

637
00:41:39,087 --> 00:41:39,887
Да-да-да...

638
00:42:02,749 --> 00:42:04,349
Аы-а-а!

639
00:42:08,150 --> 00:42:09,150
Да…

640
00:42:11,475 --> 00:42:12,475
Бедняга…

641
00:42:13,745 --> 00:42:14,645
Ребята,

642
00:42:14,948 --> 00:42:16,948
на его месте должен быть я.

643
00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:18,450
Напьёшься - будешь!

644
00:42:19,682 --> 00:42:21,482
- Давайте грузить!
- Давай, подними!

645
00:42:21,683 --> 00:42:25,283
Ва-а-а, йай-яй-яй, я-я-я!

646
00:42:25,284 --> 00:42:26,925
Тяжёлый... Оп! В коляску... вот так его...

647
00:42:26,926 --> 00:42:29,280
Чёрт! Давай... поехали.

648
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:36,619
Добрый вечер Семён Семёнович!

649
00:42:37,929 --> 00:42:38,859
Добрый вечер.

650
00:42:39,327 --> 00:42:40,527
Но я Вас не знаю...

651
00:42:40,530 --> 00:42:41,430
Володя.

652
00:42:41,674 --> 00:42:42,574
Сеня.

653
00:42:44,751 --> 00:42:46,501
Вам привет от Михал Иваныча!

654
00:42:47,034 --> 00:42:47,934
А-а...

655
00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:49,050
Спасибо!

656
00:42:49,250 --> 00:42:50,550
Он очень хотел Вас видеть.

657
00:42:51,100 --> 00:42:52,000
Когда?

658
00:42:52,032 --> 00:42:53,232
Да хоть сейчас!

659
00:42:53,531 --> 00:42:55,331
А... опаздаю за хлебом...

660
00:42:55,531 --> 00:42:57,031
Вы не волнуйтесь, у меня машина,

661
00:42:57,620 --> 00:42:58,620
Пройдёмте...

662
00:43:02,795 --> 00:43:03,795
Ну, Володя,

663
00:43:03,815 --> 00:43:04,815
спасибо большое!

664
00:43:04,820 --> 00:43:06,120
- Не стоит.
- Счастливо.

665
00:43:06,238 --> 00:43:07,238
Отдыхайте,

666
00:43:07,332 --> 00:43:08,632
хорошего Вам клёва!

667
00:43:08,638 --> 00:43:10,938
Значит, вы точно будете на Чёрных Камнях?

668
00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:12,202
Да-да, на Чёрных Камнях.

669
00:43:12,203 --> 00:43:13,403
Ну, ни пуха Вам, ни пера!

670
00:43:13,404 --> 00:43:14,604
К чёрту, к чёрту!

671
00:43:16,318 --> 00:43:17,418
Спокойной ночи!

672
00:43:17,867 --> 00:43:19,667
Спокойной ночи, Семён Семёнович!

673
00:43:19,835 --> 00:43:20,635
Да...

674
00:43:22,125 --> 00:43:23,225
Наши люди

675
00:43:23,644 --> 00:43:25,801
в булочную на такси не ездят!

676
00:43:25,802 --> 00:43:27,002
Угу, угу.

677
00:43:59,015 --> 00:44:00,215
Кажется, здесь...

678
00:44:01,330 --> 00:44:02,630
Или может быть...

679
00:44:02,716 --> 00:44:03,966
Зря мы сюда приехали,

680
00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:06,417
Чёрные Камни ближе и клёв там лучше.

681
00:44:06,420 --> 00:44:07,520
Если я не ошибаюсь,

682
00:44:07,521 --> 00:44:09,321
то здесь будет такой клёв,
что ты забудешь всё на свете.

683
00:44:10,163 --> 00:44:11,163
Выгружайся!

684
00:47:32,190 --> 00:47:34,890
Помогите!!!

685
00:47:38,774 --> 00:47:40,874
Спасите!!!

686
00:47:43,678 --> 00:47:45,128
СОС…

687
00:47:57,244 --> 00:47:59,244
Помогите!

688
00:47:59,672 --> 00:48:01,472
Лёлик!

689
00:48:01,965 --> 00:48:03,065
Идиот!

690
00:48:03,679 --> 00:48:04,579
Тьфу!

691
00:48:05,059 --> 00:48:07,559
Мамочка!!!

692
00:48:07,892 --> 00:48:09,942
Лёлик!!!

693
00:48:10,293 --> 00:48:13,093
Спасите!!!

694
00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,791
Маманя!!!

695
00:48:16,810 --> 00:48:18,010
Дяденька, чего Вы кричите?

696
00:48:18,011 --> 00:48:19,411
Иди отсюда мальчик, не мешай...

697
00:48:19,512 --> 00:48:20,712
Мам...

698
00:48:22,876 --> 00:48:23,876
М-м...

699
00:48:27,053 --> 00:48:30,503
А-ы... ах-ы... а-ы...

700
00:48:32,041 --> 00:48:37,421
Господу помолимся...

701
00:48:37,422 --> 00:48:43,422
Господи помилуй...

702
00:48:43,423 --> 00:48:47,868
Свято свят еси боже наш,
тебе славу усылаем,


703
00:48:47,869 --> 00:48:53,942
отцу и сыну и святаго духу,
ныне и присно и во веки веков...


704
00:48:53,943 --> 00:48:57,943
Помилуй...

705
00:49:39,801 --> 00:49:41,501
А ну, щенок, в сторону!

706
00:49:41,702 --> 00:49:42,802
Пшёл от сюда!

707
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:52,319
Летять уткы…

708
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,320
Летять у... утки...

709
00:49:57,321 --> 00:50:03,783
и-и два-а гуся-я...

710
00:50:05,082 --> 00:50:06,182
Да... м...

711
00:50:06,282 --> 00:50:08,482
Шеф даёт нам возможность,
реабилитироваться...

712
00:50:09,352 --> 00:50:12,452
Местом операции
под кодовым названием «Дичь»

713
00:50:12,515 --> 00:50:13,415
Как?

714
00:50:14,401 --> 00:50:15,401
Дичь!

715
00:50:16,655 --> 00:50:19,555
Он определил летний ресторан
«Плакучая Ива»

716
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,310
Строго на север,

717
00:50:21,370 --> 00:50:22,470
порядка...

718
00:50:24,029 --> 00:50:25,379
50-ти метров,

719
00:50:25,896 --> 00:50:28,396
расположен туалэт,

720
00:50:28,893 --> 00:50:30,143
типа сортир,

721
00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:38,954
обозначенный на схеме буквами «Мэ» и «Жо».

722
00:50:40,065 --> 00:50:44,064
Асфальтовая дорожка, ведущая
к туалету, проходит мимо пыхты,

723
00:50:44,264 --> 00:50:46,514
где буду находиться я.

724
00:50:47,435 --> 00:50:49,435
Такова наша дислокация...

725
00:50:50,021 --> 00:50:51,221
Теперь твоя задача…

726
00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:53,982
Ты приводишь клиента в ресторан,

727
00:50:54,864 --> 00:50:56,764
доводишь его до нужной кондиции,

728
00:50:56,964 --> 00:50:58,864
и быстренько выводишь освежиться...

729
00:50:59,121 --> 00:51:02,421
Убедившись, что клиент следует
в заданном направлении,

730
00:51:02,521 --> 00:51:05,321
со словами "Сеня, я жду тебя за столиком"

731
00:51:05,421 --> 00:51:08,121
быстренько возвращаешься на исходную позицию...

732
00:51:08,422 --> 00:51:09,822
Твоё алиби обеспечено.

733
00:51:10,536 --> 00:51:14,036
Клиент, проходя мимо пихты,
попадает в мои руки...

734
00:51:14,936 --> 00:51:16,436
А дальше вопрос техники.

735
00:51:16,536 --> 00:51:17,536
- Ясно?!
- Ням-ням...

736
00:51:17,636 --> 00:51:19,486
А, Лёлик, я только боюсь,
как его довести до кондиции?

737
00:51:19,586 --> 00:51:20,686
Он малопьющий.

738
00:51:20,687 --> 00:51:22,287
Как говорит наш дорогой шеф,

739
00:51:22,587 --> 00:51:25,387
за чужой счёт пьют даже трезвенники

740
00:51:26,054 --> 00:51:27,354
и язвенники.

741
00:51:27,961 --> 00:51:29,911
Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!

742
00:51:41,771 --> 00:51:44,563
Хм, на одну зарплату на такси
не разъездишься...

743
00:51:45,772 --> 00:51:47,672
Пожалуйста, сто штук, только подряд.

744
00:51:47,673 --> 00:51:48,473
О!

745
00:51:48,945 --> 00:51:52,288
Кто возьмёт билетов пачку, тот получит...

746
00:51:52,323 --> 00:51:53,323
Водокачку!

747
00:51:53,523 --> 00:51:54,723
Бросьте свою дурацкую агитацию,

748
00:51:54,823 --> 00:51:56,423
я покупаю билеты не ради выигрыша!

749
00:51:56,424 --> 00:51:57,724
А ради чего?

750
00:51:57,743 --> 00:51:59,143
Газеты надо читать!

751
00:51:59,144 --> 00:52:00,044
А что?

752
00:52:00,045 --> 00:52:00,845
Хм...

753
00:52:01,876 --> 00:52:03,776
Распространите среди жильцов нашего ЖЭКа!

754
00:52:03,777 --> 00:52:07,277
- А если?... А...
- А если не будут брать - отключим газ!

755
00:52:10,058 --> 00:52:11,458
Ну, в общем, всё понятно...

756
00:52:13,044 --> 00:52:14,544
Потолкайтесь по комиссионкам,

757
00:52:15,289 --> 00:52:16,489
загляните на рынок,

758
00:52:17,046 --> 00:52:18,246
посидите в ресторане...

759
00:52:18,247 --> 00:52:19,347
На вокзал можно...

760
00:52:19,348 --> 00:52:20,348
Зайдите.

761
00:52:21,385 --> 00:52:23,485
Одним словом будьте больше на виду!

762
00:52:23,486 --> 00:52:24,186
Ага...

763
00:52:24,196 --> 00:52:25,764
Естественно, у Вас будут расходы...

764
00:52:25,964 --> 00:52:27,364
Вот, возьми!

765
00:52:27,599 --> 00:52:28,799
Нет, нет, не надо, я сам...

766
00:52:29,312 --> 00:52:30,412
Семён Семёнович,

767
00:52:30,413 --> 00:52:31,913
ну давайте без самодеятельности!

768
00:52:32,425 --> 00:52:33,825
Вот здесь 500 рублей...

769
00:52:35,787 --> 00:52:36,787
Новыми?

770
00:52:37,868 --> 00:52:38,768
Ай...

771
00:52:59,839 --> 00:53:01,039
Что у Вас с головой?

772
00:53:02,529 --> 00:53:03,429
Деньги!

773
00:53:03,829 --> 00:53:05,229
Семён Семёнович…

774
00:53:05,985 --> 00:53:06,885
Понял!

775
00:53:08,077 --> 00:53:09,077
Держите…

776
00:53:13,472 --> 00:53:14,472
Зачем?

777
00:53:15,276 --> 00:53:17,676
Ну, как говорится, на всякий пожарный случай,

778
00:53:17,877 --> 00:53:18,777
берите!

779
00:53:25,157 --> 00:53:26,757
С войны не держал боевого оружия...

780
00:53:26,767 --> 00:53:29,867
Но это не боевое, а скорее психологическое...

781
00:53:31,099 --> 00:53:32,799
При случае можно пугнуть,

782
00:53:32,821 --> 00:53:33,821
подать сигнал...

783
00:53:34,021 --> 00:53:35,221
Заряжен холостыми.

784
00:53:35,457 --> 00:53:36,657
Дайте один боевой!

785
00:53:36,757 --> 00:53:37,657
Зачем?

786
00:53:38,965 --> 00:53:40,065
На всякий пожарный...

787
00:53:40,753 --> 00:53:41,753
Не надо!

788
00:53:42,053 --> 00:53:42,953
Ясно...

789
00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:47,020
- Семён Семёнович, ну что ВЫ…
- А-а!… У-у...

790
00:54:02,696 --> 00:54:03,696
А-а...?

791
00:54:05,077 --> 00:54:06,277
Э-э... а...?

792
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,427
А?

793
00:54:07,624 --> 00:54:08,724
Так надо!

794
00:54:08,824 --> 00:54:09,724
Угу...

795
00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:15,686
Феденька...

796
00:54:15,786 --> 00:54:16,886
и хорошо бы...

797
00:54:17,792 --> 00:54:18,692
дичь.

798
00:54:21,923 --> 00:54:22,823
Сделаем...

799
00:54:23,224 --> 00:54:24,824
Что будем пить, водку, коньяк?

800
00:54:24,924 --> 00:54:26,124
Мне бы пивка…

801
00:54:26,679 --> 00:54:28,779
Значит так, для начала бутылочку водочки

802
00:54:28,930 --> 00:54:30,130
и бутылочку коньячку...

803
00:54:30,230 --> 00:54:31,330
Пару пива!

804
00:54:31,331 --> 00:54:32,231
Слушаюсь.

805
00:54:32,232 --> 00:54:33,732
О, мне надо позвонить мамочке...

806
00:54:33,832 --> 00:54:35,232
- Я сейчас...
- Да.

807
00:54:41,123 --> 00:54:42,623
Добрый вечер, Борис Савельевич,

808
00:54:43,625 --> 00:54:46,086
я заказал Феде дичь...

809
00:54:49,028 --> 00:54:50,328
Очень прошу Вас…

810
00:54:55,045 --> 00:54:56,645
Лёлик, жду,

811
00:54:57,345 --> 00:54:58,745
клиент будет в порядке...

812
00:55:01,401 --> 00:55:03,501
Сам шеф здесь,

813
00:55:04,669 --> 00:55:05,569
жду...

814
00:55:22,530 --> 00:55:23,530
Свободно?

815
00:55:24,068 --> 00:55:25,068
Занято!

816
00:55:32,181 --> 00:55:33,081
Вот оно...

817
00:55:33,182 --> 00:55:34,182
Началось...

818
00:55:34,810 --> 00:55:35,910
Только спокойно,

819
00:55:36,712 --> 00:55:37,912
надо действовать...

820
00:55:41,740 --> 00:55:42,840
Скажите, пожалуйста,

821
00:55:43,081 --> 00:55:44,081
где телефон?

822
00:55:45,214 --> 00:55:46,214
Спасибо...

823
00:55:47,694 --> 00:55:48,594
Такси?

824
00:55:49,094 --> 00:55:50,694
Говорит Семён Семёнович Горбунков.

825
00:55:50,894 --> 00:55:51,994
Горбунков.

826
00:55:52,670 --> 00:55:53,895
Да, да, Горбунков.

827
00:55:54,493 --> 00:55:56,893
Пришлите такси к ресторану «Плакучая Ива».

828
00:55:57,999 --> 00:55:58,999
Срочно.

829
00:55:59,897 --> 00:56:00,897
Спасибо.

830
00:56:02,478 --> 00:56:04,778
Ну-с, начнём, пожалуй!

831
00:56:05,482 --> 00:56:07,082
Нет, нет, нет, я пива...

832
00:56:07,630 --> 00:56:08,630
Нет, нет...

833
00:56:17,573 --> 00:56:19,073
Ага, следит,

834
00:56:19,679 --> 00:56:21,079
пусть видит, что я пью.

835
00:56:21,705 --> 00:56:22,605
Ку-ку...

836
00:56:22,956 --> 00:56:24,056
За твою премию!

837
00:56:24,066 --> 00:56:25,366
Дай Бог - не последнюю!

838
00:56:35,164 --> 00:56:36,764
После первой не закусывают!

839
00:56:37,470 --> 00:56:38,470
Водочки…

840
00:56:39,142 --> 00:56:40,342
За твоё здоровье…

841
00:56:41,308 --> 00:56:42,308
Давай!

842
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:52,139
Ку-ку!

843
00:56:59,739 --> 00:57:00,739
Запей...

844
00:57:05,575 --> 00:57:06,625
Я убеждён,

845
00:57:06,626 --> 00:57:08,026
что каждый из Вас,

846
00:57:08,599 --> 00:57:09,899
когда найдёт клад,

847
00:57:10,499 --> 00:57:12,299
Поступит точно так же, как и я!

848
00:57:12,499 --> 00:57:13,899
А премию куда денешь?

849
00:57:14,294 --> 00:57:17,294
На полагающуюся мне по закону премию я,

850
00:57:18,651 --> 00:57:19,801
по совету друзей,

851
00:57:20,256 --> 00:57:21,656
решил приобрести

852
00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:23,464
автомашину «Москвич».

853
00:57:24,295 --> 00:57:25,395
Новая модель...

854
00:57:29,270 --> 00:57:30,370
Я счас!

855
00:57:35,222 --> 00:57:36,822
Клиент дозревает, будь готов!

856
00:57:36,823 --> 00:57:38,323
Увсегда готов!

857
00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:39,523
Идиот...

858
00:57:45,371 --> 00:57:46,271
Пардон...

859
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,380
Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!

860
00:57:59,639 --> 00:58:00,639
Вы к кому?

861
00:58:01,052 --> 00:58:01,982
К тебе!

862
00:58:02,626 --> 00:58:03,426
Но?

863
00:58:04,067 --> 00:58:05,267
Не узнаёшь?

864
00:58:05,660 --> 00:58:06,760
Не узнаю…

865
00:58:07,427 --> 00:58:08,627
Может, выпьем?

866
00:58:09,811 --> 00:58:10,811
Выпьем!

867
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:25,340
Я тебя тоже не сразу узнал...

868
00:58:26,139 --> 00:58:27,639
- Да?
- Угу!

869
00:58:28,026 --> 00:58:29,326
Ты зачем усы сбрил?

870
00:58:30,503 --> 00:58:31,403
Что?

871
00:58:31,432 --> 00:58:33,632
Я говорю, зачем усы сбрил, дурик?

872
00:58:36,701 --> 00:58:37,801
У кого?

873
00:58:38,844 --> 00:58:40,644
Простите, с кем имею честь?

874
00:58:41,076 --> 00:58:42,676
Ладыженский, Евгений Николаевич,

875
00:58:42,777 --> 00:58:44,377
школьный друг этого дурика!

876
00:58:44,765 --> 00:58:46,565
Вы не знаете, зачем Володька усы сбрил?

877
00:58:46,566 --> 00:58:47,766
Усы?...

878
00:58:48,515 --> 00:58:49,415
Сеня,

879
00:58:49,416 --> 00:58:50,802
побыстрому, объясни товарищу,

880
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,290
почему Володька сбрил усы.

881
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:55,100
У нас очень мало времени, пей!

882
00:58:57,176 --> 00:58:58,276
Сеня?

883
00:59:09,453 --> 00:59:11,153
Хе-хе-хе, хи, хы!

884
00:59:11,253 --> 00:59:13,711
Вы уж, простите, ну обознался...

885
00:59:14,205 --> 00:59:16,205
Вот усы Вам...

886
00:59:16,702 --> 00:59:18,302
Вылитый Володька Трынкин!

887
00:59:18,403 --> 00:59:19,403
Вылитый!

888
00:59:19,404 --> 00:59:21,004
Товарищ, у Вас когда самолёт?

889
00:59:22,332 --> 00:59:23,132
Да...

890
00:59:23,768 --> 00:59:24,568
Пора...

891
00:59:24,668 --> 00:59:27,268
Ну, будете у нас на Колыме...

892
00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:32,234
Будете у нас на Колыме - милости просим!

893
00:59:32,813 --> 00:59:34,313
Нет уж, лучше вы к нам!

894
00:59:34,752 --> 00:59:35,652
Счастливо!...

895
00:59:39,888 --> 00:59:41,388
Хорошо, что он не контрабандист,

896
00:59:41,901 --> 00:59:43,101
симпатичный мужик...

897
00:59:44,164 --> 00:59:45,764
Зачем же я так напился?

898
00:59:50,283 --> 00:59:51,183
Сеня,

899
00:59:52,140 --> 00:59:53,640
ты уже дошёл до кондиции?

900
00:59:54,565 --> 00:59:55,965
- До какой?
- До нужной!

901
00:59:56,788 --> 00:59:57,688
Нет...

902
00:59:57,979 --> 01:00:00,979
- Тогда ещё по рюмочке!
- Не, не, не, не, больше... больше не буду!

903
01:00:01,375 --> 01:00:02,575
- Должен!
- Всё!

904
01:00:03,071 --> 01:00:04,071
Сеня...

905
01:00:05,956 --> 01:00:07,356
Ты меня уважаешь?

906
01:00:08,419 --> 01:00:10,719
Уважаю, но пить не буду!

907
01:00:11,785 --> 01:00:13,179
Тогда я тебя укушу!

908
01:00:14,352 --> 01:00:15,252
Кусай!

909
01:00:16,226 --> 01:00:17,126
А-гры-ы...

910
01:00:17,163 --> 01:00:20,426
Геша... Геша... Геша... Геша... Геша...

911
01:00:20,751 --> 01:00:22,051
Кругом народ!

912
01:00:22,713 --> 01:00:23,613
Геша!

913
01:00:27,042 --> 01:00:28,342
А под дичь будешь?

914
01:00:29,076 --> 01:00:30,176
Под дичь - буду!

915
01:00:31,364 --> 01:00:33,364
Федя, дичь!

916
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:35,083
Дичь!

917
01:00:35,084 --> 01:00:35,984
Тс-с...

918
01:00:43,196 --> 01:00:44,196
Это дичь?

919
01:00:44,807 --> 01:00:45,807
Это дичь?

920
01:00:46,398 --> 01:00:47,298
Дичь!

921
01:00:48,883 --> 01:00:50,683
- А под дичь водку не пьют!
- А что?

922
01:00:50,983 --> 01:00:52,683
Пьют этот... пш-ш-ш-ш...!

923
01:00:52,743 --> 01:00:55,843
Понял, понял...
Федя! Ещё по сто пятьдесят Шампанского, и всё!

924
01:00:55,844 --> 01:00:56,744
Слушаюсь...

925
01:00:56,745 --> 01:00:58,245
- За тебя!
- Спасибо!

926
01:01:01,303 --> 01:01:03,803
По-моему, вам пора освежиться...

927
01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:06,367
Сеня, слышишь, пора освежиться...

928
01:01:06,798 --> 01:01:07,998
Быстро, пойдём!

929
01:01:08,100 --> 01:01:09,200
- А дичь?
- Пойдём!

930
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:10,600
Дичь не улетит, она жареная.

931
01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:11,600
Быстро!

932
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:13,800
Сеня не шали, быстро!

933
01:01:13,900 --> 01:01:16,000
Строго на север, порядка 50-ти метров...

934
01:01:16,100 --> 01:01:17,100
Быстренько!

935
01:01:17,940 --> 01:01:18,940
Ну что?

936
01:01:23,239 --> 01:01:24,239
Сеня!

937
01:01:35,722 --> 01:01:37,222
Песня про зайцев!

938
01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:43,300
В темно-синем лесу,

939
01:01:44,209 --> 01:01:46,109
Где трепещут осины,

940
01:01:46,630 --> 01:01:48,467
Где с дубов-колдунов

941
01:01:48,888 --> 01:01:51,188
Облетает листва.

942
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:53,359
На поляне траву

943
01:01:53,459 --> 01:01:55,894
Зайцы в полночь косили

944
01:01:56,019 --> 01:01:58,719
И при этом напевали

945
01:01:58,819 --> 01:02:01,088
Странные слова.

946
01:02:02,147 --> 01:02:06,681
А нам всё равно, а нам всё равно,

947
01:02:06,781 --> 01:02:10,881
Пусть боимся мы волка и сову.

948
01:02:11,046 --> 01:02:13,404
Дела есть у нас,

949
01:02:13,634 --> 01:02:15,908
В самый жуткий час

950
01:02:16,139 --> 01:02:18,090
Мы волшебную

951
01:02:18,225 --> 01:02:19,915
Косим трынь траву.

952
01:02:21,070 --> 01:02:23,050
А дубы-колдуны

953
01:02:23,818 --> 01:02:26,079
Что-то шепчут в тумане.

954
01:02:26,482 --> 01:02:30,782
У поганых болот чьи-то тени встают.

955
01:02:31,150 --> 01:02:33,150
Косят зайцы траву,

956
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:35,354
Трынь-траву на поляне

957
01:02:35,489 --> 01:02:40,489
И от страха всё быстрее песенку поют.

958
01:02:41,171 --> 01:02:45,471
А нам всё равно, а нам всё равно,

959
01:02:45,607 --> 01:02:49,607
Пусть боимся мы волка и сову.

960
01:02:49,717 --> 01:02:51,980
Дела есть у нас,

961
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,141
В самый жуткий час

962
01:02:54,267 --> 01:02:58,167
Мы волшебную косим трынь-траву.

963
01:02:58,728 --> 01:03:02,407
А нам всё равно, а нам всё равно,

964
01:03:02,507 --> 01:03:06,204
Твёрдо верим мы в древнюю молву.

965
01:03:06,406 --> 01:03:10,554
Храбрым станет тот, кто три раза в год,

966
01:03:10,689 --> 01:03:13,933
В самый жуткий час косит трынь траву.

967
01:03:14,079 --> 01:03:17,979
А нам всё равно, а нам всё равно,

968
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,332
Станем мы храбрей и от дважды два,

969
01:03:21,677 --> 01:03:25,216
Устоим хоть раз, в самый жуткий час,

970
01:03:25,351 --> 01:03:28,501
Все напасти нам будут трынь трава.

971
01:03:42,937 --> 01:03:46,308
А нам всё равно, а нам всё равно,

972
01:03:46,443 --> 01:03:49,797
Станем мы храбрей и от дважды два,

973
01:03:49,932 --> 01:03:53,082
Устоим хоть раз, в самый жуткий час,

974
01:03:53,234 --> 01:03:56,834
Все напасти нам будут трынь трава.

975
01:04:23,548 --> 01:04:24,548
Ну-с…

976
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:27,930
Придётся принимать меры, а что делать?

977
01:04:27,976 --> 01:04:29,276
Пьянству - бой!

978
01:04:29,649 --> 01:04:32,249
Но... Вы же знаете Варвара Сергеевна...

979
01:04:32,349 --> 01:04:34,849
Я всё знаю больше Вас, дорогая моя!

980
01:04:35,058 --> 01:04:36,558
Откуда у него деньги?

981
01:04:37,126 --> 01:04:39,926
Его товарищ пригласил, получил премию.

982
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:41,226
А по протоколу,

983
01:04:41,351 --> 01:04:46,151
за одно зеркальное разбитое стекло
Ваш муж заплатил 97 рублей 18 копеек!

984
01:04:46,251 --> 01:04:48,351
Откуда у него такие деньги?

985
01:04:49,335 --> 01:04:51,035
После возвращения от туда...

986
01:04:51,435 --> 01:04:52,963
Ваш муж стал другим!

987
01:04:53,596 --> 01:04:55,896
Тлетворное влияние Запада...

988
01:04:56,094 --> 01:04:58,094
Эти игрушки идиотские!

989
01:04:58,594 --> 01:05:00,394
А эта странная фраза:

990
01:05:00,590 --> 01:05:02,390
"Собака друг человека"...

991
01:05:03,786 --> 01:05:05,794
Странная, если не сказать больше...

992
01:05:06,503 --> 01:05:07,503
А это...

993
01:05:07,603 --> 01:05:08,803
Элементы сладкой жизни...

994
01:05:09,003 --> 01:05:11,303
И Вы знаете, я не удивлюсь,

995
01:05:11,801 --> 01:05:13,640
если завтра выяснится,

996
01:05:13,641 --> 01:05:15,486
что Ваш муж

997
01:05:15,824 --> 01:05:19,024
тайно посещает любовницу!

998
01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:20,325
Что?...

999
01:06:25,215 --> 01:06:26,315
Это твоё?

1000
01:06:27,183 --> 01:06:28,083
Моё…

1001
01:06:28,263 --> 01:06:29,363
Откуда?

1002
01:06:30,228 --> 01:06:31,228
Оттуда…

1003
01:06:32,940 --> 01:06:34,140
Оттуда…

1004
01:06:37,929 --> 01:06:39,229
Завербовали!

1005
01:06:40,220 --> 01:06:41,620
Но как он мог?

1006
01:06:42,457 --> 01:06:45,112
Ах, он такой доверчивый...

1007
01:06:45,517 --> 01:06:47,517
А-аа!... рука...

1008
01:06:47,589 --> 01:06:50,889
Его пытали!
Как же я раньше не догадалась?

1009
01:06:51,089 --> 01:06:52,089
Боже мой!

1010
01:06:52,791 --> 01:06:55,191
А нам всё равно...

1011
01:06:58,263 --> 01:06:59,363
Что же делать?

1012
01:07:00,039 --> 01:07:01,139
А дети?

1013
01:07:01,467 --> 01:07:02,717
Что с ними будет?

1014
01:07:02,817 --> 01:07:05,017
А-х-а! Какой позор!

1015
01:07:06,287 --> 01:07:09,487
А-х-а... Есть только один выход...

1016
01:07:10,941 --> 01:07:12,141
Только один.

1017
01:07:15,219 --> 01:07:16,419
Только один.

1018
01:07:29,325 --> 01:07:30,625
Хватит...

1019
01:07:31,140 --> 01:07:32,140
Хватит!

1020
01:07:32,917 --> 01:07:34,817
Шампанское по утрам пьют

1021
01:07:35,102 --> 01:07:37,302
или аристократы, или дегенераты!

1022
01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:39,459
Аа-а!

1023
01:07:41,789 --> 01:07:43,289
Мя-я-яу!

1024
01:07:48,287 --> 01:07:49,687
Поехали к шефу

1025
01:07:52,792 --> 01:07:53,942
В таком виде...

1026
01:07:54,635 --> 01:07:55,735
я не могу.

1027
01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:58,280
Я должен... сперва...

1028
01:07:59,696 --> 01:08:00,996
принять ваанну,

1029
01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:03,361
Выпить чашечку кофе...

1030
01:08:03,362 --> 01:08:05,362
Будет тебе там и ва-анна,

1031
01:08:05,562 --> 01:08:06,862
будет и кофэ,

1032
01:08:07,278 --> 01:08:09,078
будет и какава с чаем...

1033
01:08:09,602 --> 01:08:10,702
Поехали!

1034
01:08:11,350 --> 01:08:12,250
А-а!

1035
01:08:13,551 --> 01:08:14,651
Мяу-у-у!

1036
01:08:14,652 --> 01:08:15,652
Поехали...

1037
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:17,120
Геша...

1038
01:08:19,587 --> 01:08:20,587
Аа-а!

1039
01:08:22,212 --> 01:08:23,212
Бу-у!

1040
01:08:27,708 --> 01:08:28,508
А?

1041
01:08:37,510 --> 01:08:38,410
Надя!

1042
01:08:38,458 --> 01:08:39,858
- Сеня...
- Наденька!

1043
01:08:40,771 --> 01:08:41,671
Сеня...

1044
01:08:42,198 --> 01:08:44,498
Успокойся, успокойся!

1045
01:08:45,699 --> 01:08:47,699
У тебя есть, есть выход.

1046
01:08:47,700 --> 01:08:48,500
Да...

1047
01:08:48,501 --> 01:08:50,801
Ты должен пойти и признаться сам!

1048
01:08:50,901 --> 01:08:51,701
Сам!

1049
01:08:52,062 --> 01:08:52,962
В чём?

1050
01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:54,062
В измене!

1051
01:09:10,271 --> 01:09:11,771
Как ты могла подумать такое,

1052
01:09:12,127 --> 01:09:13,927
ты, жена моя, мать моих детей!

1053
01:09:13,986 --> 01:09:16,186
О, боже! О горе мне!

1054
01:09:16,286 --> 01:09:18,383
А что, что я должна была подумать?

1055
01:09:18,384 --> 01:09:20,684
Всё что угодно, но только не это!

1056
01:09:20,985 --> 01:09:21,985
О горе мне!

1057
01:09:22,286 --> 01:09:23,186
О горе!

1058
01:09:24,036 --> 01:09:26,336
Откуда у тебя пистолет и деньги?

1059
01:09:26,337 --> 01:09:27,837
Молчи, несчастная!

1060
01:09:28,531 --> 01:09:29,531
Молчи!

1061
01:09:30,382 --> 01:09:31,382
Сеня!

1062
01:09:33,595 --> 01:09:36,495
Скажи, откуда у тебя пистолет и деньги?

1063
01:09:38,195 --> 01:09:41,067
Я умоляю тебя, Сеня, скажи!

1064
01:09:41,630 --> 01:09:42,530
Хорошо...

1065
01:09:42,919 --> 01:09:45,019
Я тебе скажу, но никому ни слова!

1066
01:09:45,053 --> 01:09:46,053
Клянусь!

1067
01:09:49,761 --> 01:09:51,061
Это Государственная тайна...

1068
01:09:51,845 --> 01:09:52,945
Пистолет и деньги

1069
01:09:53,341 --> 01:09:55,916
я получил для выполнения
ответственного спецзадания…

1070
01:09:55,917 --> 01:09:57,517
А-х-а-а!... Какого?

1071
01:09:58,039 --> 01:09:59,639
Этого я тебе не могу сказать!

1072
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:00,640
- А-х!
- Пока...

1073
01:10:00,740 --> 01:10:02,240
Придёт время, ты всё узнаешь…

1074
01:10:03,725 --> 01:10:04,925
Может меня даже...

1075
01:10:06,953 --> 01:10:07,953
наградят…

1076
01:10:11,609 --> 01:10:12,609
посмертно…

1077
01:10:15,598 --> 01:10:18,198
Шикарный план, шеф!

1078
01:10:19,114 --> 01:10:22,414
В 12:00 всё будет готово!

1079
01:10:23,378 --> 01:10:24,378
Гениально!

1080
01:10:43,135 --> 01:10:44,285
Добрый день!

1081
01:10:45,540 --> 01:10:48,540
Ф-ф! Уге-га-га-гэ-гы!

1082
01:10:50,125 --> 01:10:51,325
Добрый день!

1083
01:10:51,815 --> 01:10:53,015
Бонжур, мадам...

1084
01:10:53,700 --> 01:10:55,100
- Пардон.
- Мяяу!

1085
01:10:55,547 --> 01:10:58,347
Я счастлив Вас приветствовать
в этом скромном, уютном…

1086
01:10:59,438 --> 01:11:00,638
Салют, мальчик!

1087
01:11:04,133 --> 01:11:05,333
Я от шефа.

1088
01:11:05,682 --> 01:11:06,982
Всё приготовлено...

1089
01:11:08,650 --> 01:11:09,650
Ксива?

1090
01:11:10,458 --> 01:11:11,458
Паспорт...

1091
01:11:11,858 --> 01:11:12,858
готов!

1092
01:11:14,808 --> 01:11:15,708
Хаза?

1093
01:11:15,709 --> 01:11:16,909
Отель «Атлантик».

1094
01:11:17,109 --> 01:11:19,309
Двухкоечный нумер... оплачен!

1095
01:11:21,034 --> 01:11:22,034
Клиент?

1096
01:11:22,491 --> 01:11:25,091
М-м... Фас...

1097
01:11:25,823 --> 01:11:26,823
Профиль...

1098
01:11:31,231 --> 01:11:32,331
Гонорар?

1099
01:11:32,332 --> 01:11:33,332
Во!...

1100
01:11:35,837 --> 01:11:37,137
Пока что - задаток.

1101
01:11:39,314 --> 01:11:40,514
Мхяу-яу!

1102
01:11:45,427 --> 01:11:48,827
Достаточно одной таблэтки...

1103
01:11:52,436 --> 01:11:53,636
Скажите, пожалуйста,

1104
01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:58,010
У Вас нет такого же, но без крыльев?

1105
01:11:58,011 --> 01:11:59,111
К сожалению, нет...

1106
01:11:59,112 --> 01:12:00,312
- Нет, да?
- Нет.

1107
01:12:00,413 --> 01:12:01,513
Будем искать...

1108
01:12:07,442 --> 01:12:08,942
А у Вас нет такого же, но

1109
01:12:09,094 --> 01:12:10,994
с перламутровыми пуговицами?

1110
01:12:10,995 --> 01:12:12,095
К сожалению, нет...

1111
01:12:12,096 --> 01:12:13,996
Нет, да... будем искать...

1112
01:12:31,338 --> 01:12:32,738
- Вы меня?
- Да!

1113
01:12:33,532 --> 01:12:34,932
Вы меня извините...

1114
01:12:36,447 --> 01:12:37,647
Я сышала...

1115
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:40,236
ну случайно, у меня есть то, что Вы ищете...

1116
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:43,065
И как раз с перламутровыми пуговицами!

1117
01:12:43,589 --> 01:12:45,169
Только он у меня в гостинице...

1118
01:12:45,767 --> 01:12:47,267
- Вам очень нужно?
- Да!

1119
01:12:47,563 --> 01:12:49,093
Тогда я Вам сейчас дам адрес.

1120
01:12:49,798 --> 01:12:51,798
Я живу в гостинице «Атлантика».

1121
01:12:51,998 --> 01:12:53,298
Это совсем недалеко.

1122
01:13:00,239 --> 01:13:01,139
Аллё...

1123
01:13:01,769 --> 01:13:03,319
В девять часов Вас устраивает?

1124
01:13:03,419 --> 01:13:05,019
- Ага.
- Ну и хорошо!

1125
01:13:06,144 --> 01:13:07,044
Пожалуйста!

1126
01:13:08,665 --> 01:13:10,665
Я Вас очень буду ждать!

1127
01:13:15,705 --> 01:13:17,000
В девять, ровно в девять,

1128
01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:20,400
гостиница «Атлантика», номер 327,
Анна Сергеевна...

1129
01:13:20,946 --> 01:13:22,846
В девять, ровно в девять...

1130
01:13:22,870 --> 01:13:25,470
Печёнкой чую, клюнула настоящая рыба.

1131
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:27,160
Как она выглядит?

1132
01:13:27,262 --> 01:13:28,462
- Она?
- Да.

1133
01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:31,498
Во!...

1134
01:13:31,839 --> 01:13:32,739
Ясно...

1135
01:13:33,733 --> 01:13:36,033
Будьте осторожны,
не повторите вчерашней ошибки!

1136
01:13:36,034 --> 01:13:37,834
Аэ... Эа!
Я ведь вообще не пью.

1137
01:13:37,861 --> 01:13:38,961
Друг пригласил...

1138
01:13:39,233 --> 01:13:41,133
Да, кстати, как он себя чувствует
после вчерашнего?

1139
01:13:41,233 --> 01:13:42,583
Не знаю, он ещё не звонил.

1140
01:13:42,684 --> 01:13:44,384
- Хороший человек...
- Вы думаете?

1141
01:13:44,806 --> 01:13:48,206
Ну ладно, идите в гостиницу, действуйте
сообразно обстоятельствам.

1142
01:13:48,306 --> 01:13:50,806
Возможны сообщники, проверьте!

1143
01:13:50,950 --> 01:13:52,050
Оружие при Вас?

1144
01:13:54,976 --> 01:13:55,976
Психическое...

1145
01:13:55,977 --> 01:13:57,077
Вас услышат.

1146
01:13:57,117 --> 01:13:58,217
Дайте-ка записку!

1147
01:14:04,002 --> 01:14:06,602
Французские, "Шанель, номер пять"...

1148
01:14:06,702 --> 01:14:07,602
Поехали!

1149
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:23,940
А-а! а...

1150
01:14:40,346 --> 01:14:43,346
Та-да-ри, тай-да-ри,

1151
01:14:43,766 --> 01:14:47,266
Та-да-ри, рай-ра-ри-рам

1152
01:14:48,717 --> 01:14:49,717
Ты куда?

1153
01:14:50,796 --> 01:14:52,296
А.. Спецзадание?

1154
01:14:53,441 --> 01:14:54,941
Будь осторожнее, слышишь!

1155
01:14:55,026 --> 01:14:56,626
Не волнуйся, всё будет в порядке!

1156
01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:58,280
Сень!

1157
01:14:59,915 --> 01:15:00,915
А-хх!

1158
01:15:10,666 --> 01:15:11,466
Ф-ф-ф!

1159
01:15:12,790 --> 01:15:13,790
Пошёл!

1160
01:15:37,554 --> 01:15:38,754
Клиэнт прибыл!

1161
01:15:39,154 --> 01:15:40,054
Добро.

1162
01:15:44,592 --> 01:15:45,592
А-а пчхи!

1163
01:15:51,739 --> 01:15:53,339
Пятый, пятый, он вошёл,

1164
01:15:53,439 --> 01:15:54,339
приём!

1165
01:15:55,173 --> 01:15:56,573
Понял, Вас понял!

1166
01:16:10,776 --> 01:16:13,526
Гостиница... 327,

1167
01:16:14,384 --> 01:16:15,634
Анна Сергеевна...

1168
01:16:15,810 --> 01:16:17,010
Девять ноль-ноль...

1169
01:16:18,103 --> 01:16:19,003
Хха!

1170
01:16:21,679 --> 01:16:23,029
Да, да, войдите!

1171
01:16:40,782 --> 01:16:41,782
А, пришли...

1172
01:16:41,783 --> 01:16:43,283
- Добрый вечер!
- Добрый вечер!

1173
01:16:43,284 --> 01:16:44,734
Присядьте, пожалуйста, я сейчас...

1174
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:07,340
Что с Вами?

1175
01:17:07,764 --> 01:17:08,864
Что с Вами?!

1176
01:17:09,998 --> 01:17:10,998
Да вот...

1177
01:17:11,328 --> 01:17:13,228
Запонка закатилась...

1178
01:17:15,112 --> 01:17:15,912
Вот...

1179
01:17:16,564 --> 01:17:17,564
Отшпилилась!

1180
01:17:17,864 --> 01:17:19,764
Ой, как Вы меня напугали!

1181
01:17:21,019 --> 01:17:22,569
Разрешите, я Вам помогу...

1182
01:17:25,927 --> 01:17:27,527
Я думала, что то случилось...

1183
01:17:28,179 --> 01:17:29,879
Послушайте, как бьётся сердце...

1184
01:17:30,676 --> 01:17:31,576
Стучит?

1185
01:17:34,165 --> 01:17:35,165
Стучит?!

1186
01:17:36,501 --> 01:17:37,601
С-стучит.

1187
01:17:39,076 --> 01:17:40,476
Следить за сигналом,

1188
01:17:40,994 --> 01:17:42,994
как только он уснёт, она погасит свет...

1189
01:17:43,303 --> 01:17:45,103
Лёлик, а если он сейчас уйдёт?

1190
01:17:45,203 --> 01:17:47,703
Геша, ты ушёл бы от такой женщины?

1191
01:17:47,704 --> 01:17:49,104
Я - нет, но он - верный муж!

1192
01:17:49,105 --> 01:17:51,205
У-у! Как говорит наш дорогой шеф,
нет такого мужа,

1193
01:17:51,206 --> 01:17:54,306
который, хоть на час бы
не мечтал стать холостяком!

1194
01:17:54,307 --> 01:17:57,207
- Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!
- Хи-хи, хи... хи-хи, хи...

1195
01:17:57,406 --> 01:17:58,806
Следить за сигналом!

1196
01:18:29,468 --> 01:18:31,468
Нам бы насчёт... халата...

1197
01:18:32,398 --> 01:18:34,598
Ой, я же Вам не сказала,

1198
01:18:34,698 --> 01:18:37,278
подружка должна принести,
с минуты на минуту.

1199
01:18:37,378 --> 01:18:38,678
Вы не торопитесь?

1200
01:18:39,078 --> 01:18:40,278
Да нет, не тороплюсь...

1201
01:18:40,379 --> 01:18:42,079
У-у кх-х-х-х-х!

1202
01:18:45,688 --> 01:18:47,388
Может, пока, бокал вина?

1203
01:18:50,124 --> 01:18:51,124
Хорошо бы…

1204
01:18:52,574 --> 01:18:53,474
пива…

1205
01:18:54,423 --> 01:18:57,823
Ххм-м-м-м... Нет, только вино!

1206
01:19:06,959 --> 01:19:14,766
Слова любви Вы говорили мне
в городе каменном,


1207
01:19:14,866 --> 01:19:22,439
А фонари с глазами жёлтыми
нас вели сквозь туман.


1208
01:19:22,539 --> 01:19:30,225
Любить я раньше не умела так
огненно, пламенно.


1209
01:19:30,325 --> 01:19:36,740
В душе моей неосторожно Вы
разбудили вулкан.


1210
01:19:36,985 --> 01:19:43,355
Помоги мне, помоги мне,

1211
01:19:43,356 --> 01:19:46,256
…За наше случайное знакомство…

1212
01:19:46,257 --> 01:19:49,889
желтоглазую ночь позови.

1213
01:19:49,900 --> 01:19:51,000
Пейте, пейте!

1214
01:19:51,356 --> 01:19:52,256
Пейте...

1215
01:19:52,964 --> 01:19:53,764
Ф-ф...

1216
01:19:53,765 --> 01:19:59,192
Видишь, гибнет, ах, сердце гибнет

1217
01:19:59,392 --> 01:20:05,217
В огнедышащей лаве любви.

1218
01:20:07,453 --> 01:20:09,755
А где же подружка? Может, я завтра...

1219
01:20:10,261 --> 01:20:11,461
А зачем подружка?

1220
01:20:11,834 --> 01:20:13,634
Мой халатик почти как тот…

1221
01:20:14,339 --> 01:20:15,539
Угу...

1222
01:20:17,244 --> 01:20:18,544
Взгляните!

1223
01:20:18,545 --> 01:20:21,045
...пил и ждал новостей.

1224
01:20:21,592 --> 01:20:28,800
Вы называли меня умницей,
милою девочкой,


1225
01:20:28,900 --> 01:20:35,180
Но не смогли понять, что шутите
Вы с вулканом страстей.


1226
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:43,083
Помоги мне, помоги мне,

1227
01:20:43,183 --> 01:20:50,415
Желтоглазую ночь позови.

1228
01:20:50,515 --> 01:20:58,215
Видишь, гибнет, ах, сердце гибнет

1229
01:20:58,315 --> 01:21:00,503
В огнедышащей лаве любви.

1230
01:21:00,504 --> 01:21:01,154
В огнедышащей лаве любви.
Гав!


1231
01:21:01,155 --> 01:21:04,655
В огнедышащей лаве любви.

1232
01:21:05,429 --> 01:21:13,129
Ямайским ромом пахнут сумерки,
синие, длинные


1233
01:21:13,330 --> 01:21:20,630
А город каменный по-прежнему пьёт и
ждёт новостей.


1234
01:21:20,862 --> 01:21:27,862
Закат опять окрасил улицу
красками, дивными


1235
01:21:29,973 --> 01:21:34,798
...кружатся
над вулканом страстей.


1236
01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:42,463
Помоги мне, помоги мне,

1237
01:21:42,662 --> 01:21:49,962
Желтоглазую ночь позови.

1238
01:21:50,312 --> 01:21:57,503
Видишь, гибнет, ах, сердце гибнет

1239
01:21:57,603 --> 01:21:59,901
В огнедышащей лаве любви.

1240
01:22:00,002 --> 01:22:06,302
Не виноватая я! Он сам пришёл!

1241
01:22:48,108 --> 01:22:50,208
Я видела твоё "спецзадание"

1242
01:22:51,445 --> 01:22:55,345
После такой чудовищной лжи,
я не хочу и не могу быть с тобой!

1243
01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:00,400
Уверена, что дети, когда вырастут,
поймут меня.

1244
01:23:01,214 --> 01:23:04,014
На развод подам сама. Прощай!

1245
01:23:16,107 --> 01:23:17,607
Доброе утро, Семён Семёнович!

1246
01:23:24,027 --> 01:23:25,927
Нет, я должен немедленно ехать в Дубровку

1247
01:23:26,187 --> 01:23:27,787
Правильно, но не сейчас.

1248
01:23:28,876 --> 01:23:30,626
Завтра утром пришлём Вам машину,

1249
01:23:30,813 --> 01:23:32,013
как всегда такси.

1250
01:23:32,113 --> 01:23:33,266
В восемь утра, Вам удобно?

1251
01:23:33,312 --> 01:23:34,612
А почему не сегодня?

1252
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:37,508
Сегодня попрошу Вас выполнить
одну мою просьбу.

1253
01:23:37,509 --> 01:23:38,509
Какую?

1254
01:23:39,215 --> 01:23:41,562
Вам нужно обязательно встретиться
с Вашим приятелем.

1255
01:23:41,759 --> 01:23:42,859
Каким приятелем?

1256
01:23:42,860 --> 01:23:44,160
Ну, с тем, с которым Вы были...

1257
01:23:44,161 --> 01:23:45,161
на рыбалке, в ресторане…

1258
01:23:45,162 --> 01:23:46,362
А… Геннадий Петрович...

1259
01:23:46,363 --> 01:23:47,763
Угу. Встретитесь с ним,

1260
01:23:48,189 --> 01:23:51,489
и так, между делом, скажете, что завтра

1261
01:23:51,689 --> 01:23:53,689
Вы уезжаете в Дубровку, в восемь утра.

1262
01:23:53,889 --> 01:23:54,789
Угу...

1263
01:23:54,889 --> 01:23:56,889
А самое главное, скажите ему,

1264
01:23:56,976 --> 01:23:59,076
тоже так, между прочим, невзначай,

1265
01:23:59,307 --> 01:24:02,007
что послезавтра с Вас снимут гипс.

1266
01:24:04,409 --> 01:24:05,309
Гена?

1267
01:24:05,655 --> 01:24:06,455
Да!

1268
01:24:08,141 --> 01:24:09,686
А почему же вы его тогда не…

1269
01:24:09,687 --> 01:24:12,187
Чтобы не спугнуть более крупную рыбу!

1270
01:24:20,705 --> 01:24:21,605
Пардон...

1271
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:26,520
А город пил коктели пряные,

1272
01:24:26,521 --> 01:24:29,221
пил и ждал новостей.

1273
01:24:29,222 --> 01:24:32,122
- Помоги мне...
- Хорошо Вы поёте!

1274
01:24:33,072 --> 01:24:35,572
Мхы- хы-хы... Ну что Вы...
Мхы-хы-хы...

1275
01:24:35,872 --> 01:24:39,322
Скажите, пожалуйста, Вы давно знаете
гражданина Горбункова С. С.?

1276
01:24:39,422 --> 01:24:41,322
Да, к несчастью, десять лет!

1277
01:24:41,323 --> 01:24:46,423
И что, все эти десять лет он пил, дебоширил,
и, так сказать, морально разлагался?

1278
01:24:46,424 --> 01:24:48,024
Ну нет, Вы знаете,

1279
01:24:48,124 --> 01:24:51,599
всё это время он искусно маскировался
под порядочного человека!

1280
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:52,700
Я ему не верю!

1281
01:24:52,701 --> 01:24:55,201
Но если хорошо знаешь человека,
ему нужно верить всегда.

1282
01:24:55,301 --> 01:24:56,301
О нет,

1283
01:24:56,801 --> 01:24:59,703
Я считаю, что человеку нужно верить,
только в самом крайнем случае!

1284
01:24:59,704 --> 01:25:01,404
- Вы так думаете?
- Да!

1285
01:25:01,918 --> 01:25:02,818
Оо!

1286
01:25:02,828 --> 01:25:05,728
А кстати... Вы кто такой?

1287
01:25:07,244 --> 01:25:10,444
Ну, я его знаю по работе, скажем, коллега...

1288
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:14,100
Ясно - собутыльник!

1289
01:25:18,127 --> 01:25:19,427
Ну-ка иди отсюда,

1290
01:25:20,273 --> 01:25:21,273
Миша!

1291
01:25:21,701 --> 01:25:23,601
Как у вас там говорят, топай до хазы.
Иди, иди!

1292
01:25:23,602 --> 01:25:25,402
Хорошо, хорошо, я сейчас уйду,
только один вопрос:

1293
01:25:25,602 --> 01:25:27,302
Скажите, Вы хорошо это прикрепили?

1294
01:25:27,821 --> 01:25:29,771
Не беспокойся, алкаш, не сорвёшь!

1295
01:25:29,921 --> 01:25:31,521
А теперь - снимите!

1296
01:25:32,947 --> 01:25:36,047
Шеф, всё пропало! Всё пропало!!!

1297
01:25:36,095 --> 01:25:37,795
Гипс снимают, клиент уезжает.

1298
01:25:37,895 --> 01:25:39,814
Ха-ха-ха-ха-ха! Хны, хны...

1299
01:25:39,815 --> 01:25:42,715
Я убью его! Я во!... м... м... м... м...

1300
01:25:42,917 --> 01:25:44,217
- Э-э! Э-э! Э-э!
- А-а!

1301
01:25:44,218 --> 01:25:46,018
Э-э! Э-э! Э-э! Э-э! Э-э!

1302
01:25:51,463 --> 01:25:52,963
Доброе утро, Семён Семёнович!

1303
01:25:53,166 --> 01:25:54,866
Куда это Вы в такую рань собрались?

1304
01:25:55,406 --> 01:25:56,606
К своим, в Дубровку.

1305
01:25:56,607 --> 01:25:57,607
А-а...

1306
01:25:59,483 --> 01:26:01,783
Кто заказывал такси на Дубровку?

1307
01:26:02,183 --> 01:26:03,083
Я!

1308
01:26:03,801 --> 01:26:05,701
Гэ-э... Садитесь!

1309
01:26:07,962 --> 01:26:09,462
- Поехал.
- Счастливо!

1310
01:26:12,648 --> 01:26:19,248
Я встретил Вас и всё былое

1311
01:26:19,548 --> 01:26:26,094
В отжившем сердце ожило...

1312
01:26:26,297 --> 01:26:30,897
- Я вспомнил время...
- А Михаил Иваныч не смог приехать?

1313
01:26:31,704 --> 01:26:34,104
- Золотое...
- А Володя?

1314
01:26:35,021 --> 01:26:36,721
- И сердцу...
- Заняты..

1315
01:26:36,722 --> 01:26:40,822
- И сердцу стало...
- А звание у Вас какое?

1316
01:26:40,823 --> 01:26:42,223
К-какое звание?

1317
01:26:42,671 --> 01:26:44,871
Как у Володи - Лейтенант милиции?

1318
01:26:47,959 --> 01:26:49,059
Лэйтинант.

1319
01:26:49,963 --> 01:26:52,563
Старшой я… ага...

1320
01:26:53,573 --> 01:26:54,873
Товарищ старший лейтенант,

1321
01:26:55,162 --> 01:26:57,162
разрешите я Вас при жене
буду называть по званию

1322
01:26:57,526 --> 01:26:59,026
"товарищ старший лейтенант"?

1323
01:26:59,109 --> 01:27:01,109
- Ага...
- Для солидности, можно?

1324
01:27:01,366 --> 01:27:03,366
Ага... разрешаю!

1325
01:27:03,704 --> 01:27:04,604
Спасибо!

1326
01:27:05,589 --> 01:27:08,289
Вы, обязательно, ей скажите,
что я выполнял ваше ваше спецзадание

1327
01:27:08,782 --> 01:27:10,982
в ресторане... а, главное - в гостинице!

1328
01:27:11,848 --> 01:27:13,188
- Ага...
- А чтоб она не волновалась,

1329
01:27:13,838 --> 01:27:15,938
- Завтра всё равно это снимут...
- Ага...

1330
01:27:16,193 --> 01:27:18,193
Вы ей ничего не говорите о контрабандистах,

1331
01:27:18,445 --> 01:27:19,845
золоте, бриллиантах…

1332
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:24,580
Нет, на это я пойтить не могу!

1333
01:27:24,733 --> 01:27:28,433
- Товарищ старший…
- Нет, мне надо посоветоваться с шефом!

1334
01:27:28,533 --> 01:27:29,733
С начальством...

1335
01:27:30,133 --> 01:27:33,133
- С Михал Иванычем?
- Гыи!... с Михал Ивановичем.

1336
01:27:34,497 --> 01:27:35,497
С Михал...

1337
01:27:36,361 --> 01:27:37,761
Привет Михал Иванычу!

1338
01:27:39,218 --> 01:27:42,468
Алло, алло, шеф, это я...

1339
01:27:42,550 --> 01:27:46,450
Алло, шеф, это я - Лёлик.

1340
01:27:46,750 --> 01:27:47,750
Лёлик!

1341
01:27:48,647 --> 01:27:51,047
Уехал в Дубровку, минут 20 назад,

1342
01:27:51,247 --> 01:27:53,547
на такси - бежевая «Волга»

1343
01:27:53,849 --> 01:27:56,349
28-70 ОГО

1344
01:27:57,027 --> 01:27:57,927
Угу...

1345
01:27:58,127 --> 01:28:00,677
Понял, усё понял.

1346
01:28:01,412 --> 01:28:03,412
Жешка на 19-ой версте...

1347
01:28:04,379 --> 01:28:05,879
Значит, без него...

1348
01:28:06,447 --> 01:28:07,647
А... понял...

1349
01:28:08,078 --> 01:28:12,478
Начинаю действовать, без шума и пыли,
по вновь утверждённому плану..

1350
01:28:12,978 --> 01:28:13,878
Увсё

1351
01:28:22,698 --> 01:28:26,398
- Ну как?
- Привет от Михал Иваныча!

1352
01:28:26,498 --> 01:28:27,598
- Спасибо.
- Эхе-хе-хе...

1353
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,900
- Ну что?
- Всё будет в порядке,

1354
01:28:30,000 --> 01:28:31,100
даже лучше,

1355
01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:32,900
к жене приедете как огурчик,

1356
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:35,700
без гипсу, без пыли, без шуму.

1357
01:28:35,900 --> 01:28:40,000
- Михал Иваныч разрешил снять гипс сегодня.
- Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га!

1358
01:28:40,266 --> 01:28:41,666
- Поймали?
- Поймали!

1359
01:28:41,866 --> 01:28:43,366
- А кто он?
- Лопух!

1360
01:28:43,367 --> 01:28:45,567
- Ага-га-га-га-га-га-га!
- Ага-га-га-га-га-га-га!

1361
01:28:49,336 --> 01:28:50,608
Зачем возвращаться,

1362
01:28:50,999 --> 01:28:52,399
не будем терять время...

1363
01:28:52,547 --> 01:28:55,447
У нас есть точка на трассе,
там и сымем гипс.

1364
01:28:55,799 --> 01:28:58,599
Как говорит наш дорогой шеф,
Михал Иваныч:

1365
01:28:58,699 --> 01:29:01,399
куй железо, не отходя от кассы!

1366
01:29:01,400 --> 01:29:03,800
- Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га!
- Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га!

1367
01:29:03,971 --> 01:29:08,171
Быстренько сымем гипс, выпотрошим его
и полный порядок...

1368
01:29:08,701 --> 01:29:09,901
Товарищ старший лейтенант,

1369
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:12,500
толко прошу Вас,
все ценности принять по описи!

1370
01:29:12,510 --> 01:29:14,210
Ну какой разговор, по всей форме:

1371
01:29:14,310 --> 01:29:17,710
опись, протокол, сдал, принял,
отпечатки пальцев...

1372
01:29:17,810 --> 01:29:20,010
Ха-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га!

1373
01:30:05,739 --> 01:30:08,039
Вся операция займёт не более 15 минут.

1374
01:30:08,412 --> 01:30:09,612
Пускай отмокает,

1375
01:30:09,812 --> 01:30:12,112
а я пока соберу

1376
01:30:12,933 --> 01:30:14,033
барахлишко.

1377
01:30:15,097 --> 01:30:15,997
Дела...

1378
01:30:16,097 --> 01:30:17,897
Здорово у вас здесь всё оборудовано.

1379
01:30:17,898 --> 01:30:19,798
Да, приходится рвать когти,

1380
01:30:20,298 --> 01:30:21,398
начальство

1381
01:30:22,342 --> 01:30:24,842
приказало менять точку,

1382
01:30:25,792 --> 01:30:26,892
перебазироваться,

1383
01:30:27,537 --> 01:30:28,703
вот так...

1384
01:30:30,082 --> 01:30:33,082
Хы-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га-га...

1385
01:30:33,294 --> 01:30:35,394
У Вас... ус отклеился...

1386
01:30:36,355 --> 01:30:37,355
С-спасибо...

1387
01:30:38,496 --> 01:30:39,696
Руки верх!

1388
01:31:52,630 --> 01:31:54,530
Седьмой, седьмой, что видете на трассе?

1389
01:31:55,089 --> 01:31:56,089
Докладываете.

1390
01:31:56,190 --> 01:31:57,590
Я седьмой, докладываю:

1391
01:31:58,494 --> 01:32:02,194
по направлению к городу движется
автоцистерна "Молоко";

1392
01:32:02,893 --> 01:32:04,393
такси не обнаружено,

1393
01:32:04,727 --> 01:32:06,927
продолжаю обследование, приём...

1394
01:33:56,235 --> 01:33:59,635
Седьмой, седьмой, такси бежевого цвета
в Дубровку не въезжало,

1395
01:33:59,735 --> 01:34:01,235
обследуйте 45 квадрат!

1396
01:34:09,558 --> 01:34:10,558
Стойте!

1397
01:34:12,170 --> 01:34:13,370
Остановитесь!

1398
01:34:13,818 --> 01:34:14,868
Подождите!

1399
01:34:21,722 --> 01:34:24,522
- Прошу Вас, отвезите в город!
- А что случилось?

1400
01:34:25,456 --> 01:34:27,956
Дело государственной важности!
Возможна погоня...

1401
01:34:28,050 --> 01:34:30,350
- Я отвезу, отвезу Вас, хорошо.
- Скорее!

1402
01:34:31,523 --> 01:34:32,523
Скорее!

1403
01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:34,326
Я, ведь ещё только учусь...

1404
01:34:34,426 --> 01:34:35,526
Ну что Вы, время!

1405
01:34:35,626 --> 01:34:36,726
Время - деньги!

1406
01:34:36,821 --> 01:34:40,021
Как говорится,
когда видишь деньги - не теряй времени.

1407
01:34:40,263 --> 01:34:42,163
Куй железо, не отходя от кассы!

1408
01:34:44,544 --> 01:34:46,544
Руки... уверх!

1409
01:34:47,230 --> 01:34:48,765
Обои!... Убью!

1410
01:35:05,182 --> 01:35:08,032
Хы, ха, ха!
Зря старались... бриллиантов там нет!

1411
01:35:08,086 --> 01:35:09,686
- Как нет?
- Нет и всё!

1412
01:35:11,042 --> 01:35:12,542
А откуда Вы знаете, что они там были?

1413
01:35:12,742 --> 01:35:15,142
И этот, с приклеенными усами,
тоже думал, что они там...

1414
01:35:15,602 --> 01:35:17,602
А они уже давно в милиции… Шеф!

1415
01:35:18,666 --> 01:35:19,866
Стойте!

1416
01:35:20,166 --> 01:35:21,466
Стойте, идиоты!

1417
01:35:22,359 --> 01:35:24,759
Как говорил один мой знакомый,

1418
01:35:26,134 --> 01:35:27,134
покойник:

1419
01:35:27,550 --> 01:35:29,550
Я слишком много знал...

1420
01:35:30,238 --> 01:35:31,238
Хм-х-х-х...

1421
01:35:32,026 --> 01:35:34,426
Пятый, я седьмой, докладываю:

1422
01:35:35,216 --> 01:35:39,716
по лесной дороге, на большой скорости,
в направлении к государственной границе,

1423
01:35:39,829 --> 01:35:42,329
движется «Москвич» вишнёвого цвета,

1424
01:35:42,529 --> 01:35:43,529
приём!

1425
01:35:45,837 --> 01:35:49,237
Седьмой, седьмой, слушай мою команду!

1426
01:36:21,326 --> 01:36:22,426
Мама!

1427
01:36:22,526 --> 01:36:25,126
Лёлик, останови, Лёлик! А-а! Лёлик!

1428
01:36:25,127 --> 01:36:29,578
Спокойно, Козладоев, сядем усе!

1429
01:36:29,678 --> 01:36:37,578
Я встретил Вас и всё былое...













The boss of a black market ring (known only as "The Chief") wants to smuggle a batch of jewelry from Turkey into the Soviet Union by hiding it inside the orthopedic cast of a courier. The Chief sends a minor henchman named Gennadiy Kozodoyev (played by Mironov) to serve as the courier. Kozodoyev travels to Turkey via a tourist cruise ship. The Turkish co-conspirators do not know what the courier looks like; they only know that he is supposed to say a secret phrase to identify himself. Due to a mix-up, they mistake Kozodoyev's fellow passenger from the cruise ship, the "ordinary Soviet citizen" Semyon Gorbunkov (played by Nikulin) for the courier...

1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:03,534
MOSFILM

2
00:00:04,641 --> 00:00:08,509
The ‘Luch’ Artistic Association

3
00:00:08,845 --> 00:00:14,051
THE DIAMOND ARM

4
00:00:14,051 --> 00:00:16,076
A screen novel in two parts

5
00:00:16,254 --> 00:00:19,087
from the life of smugglers,
with prologue and epilogue.

6
00:00:19,257 --> 00:00:20,224
Screenplay by

7
00:00:20,391 --> 00:00:23,258
M. SLOBODSKY
Ya. KISTYUKOVSKY, L. GAIDAI

8
00:00:23,428 --> 00:00:26,363
Directed by
Leonid GAIDAI

9
00:00:26,497 --> 00:00:28,897
Photographed in the air, on the earth,
on the water and underwater

10
00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,831
by Director of Photography
Igor CHERNYKH

11
00:00:32,036 --> 00:00:35,472
Production Designer
F. YASYUKEVICH

12
00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:37,868
Music by A. ZATSEPIN

13
00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:40,737
Sound by Ye. INDLINA
Conductor - E. KHACHATURIAN

14
00:00:40,912 --> 00:00:42,641
Lyrics by L. DERBENYOV

15
00:00:42,847 --> 00:00:45,816
English Subtitles by
T. KAMENEVA

16
00:01:07,772 --> 00:01:10,764
The Studio wishes to thank
the organizations and persons

17
00:01:10,942 --> 00:01:12,876
that had provided for the shooting

18
00:01:13,044 --> 00:01:14,841
real diamonds and gold.

19
00:01:15,013 --> 00:01:17,846
This film has been photographed
by a half-hidden camera.

20
00:03:37,588 --> 00:03:40,580
THE DIAMOND ARM

21
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:41,884
Starring

22
00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:43,117
Nina GREBESHKOVA

23
00:03:43,461 --> 00:03:45,793
Nonna MORDYUKOVA
Svetlana SVETLICHNAYA

24
00:03:45,963 --> 00:03:49,057
Anatoly PAPANOV
Andrei MIRONOV

25
00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:52,532
Stanislav CHEKAN
Vladimir GULYAEV

26
00:03:52,703 --> 00:03:53,761
Also starring

27
00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:55,667
Ye. MELNIKOVA
A. FAIT, N. ROMANOV

28
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,102
G. SHPIGEL, L. KANEVSKY

29
00:03:57,442 --> 00:03:58,534
And also...

30
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:01,678
V. OSTROVSKAYA, S. KHOLINA
T. NIKULINA, R. FILIPPOV

31
00:04:01,846 --> 00:04:04,838
N. TROFIMOV, A. YACHNITSKY
L. POLYAKOV, G. KACHIN

32
00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:06,677
Besides,

33
00:04:06,851 --> 00:04:09,183
A. KHVYLYA, G. SVETLANI
A. KOZUBSKY, V. KUPRIYANOV

34
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,579
I. VASSILENKO
I. ZHEVAGO, V. URALSKY

35
00:04:11,756 --> 00:04:13,087
And with

36
00:04:13,424 --> 00:04:15,654
Sasha LISYUTINA
Mitya NIKOLAYEV

37
00:04:15,827 --> 00:04:17,556
And at last...

38
00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:19,059
With the participation of

39
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:23,394
YURI NIKULIN

40
00:04:23,568 --> 00:04:24,557
Part One

41
00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:27,829
THE DIAMOND IS ALMOST INVISIBLE

42
00:05:18,756 --> 00:05:22,487
We bring you a live broadcast
from our sea port.

43
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,792
This snow-white liner
is to depart on its next cruise,

44
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:30,525
carrying a large contingent
of Soviet tourists

45
00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,532
on a very fascinating voyage.

46
00:05:32,703 --> 00:05:35,536
- Hello!
- Hello.

47
00:05:35,706 --> 00:05:37,606
What is your name, please?

48
00:05:37,775 --> 00:05:39,106
Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

49
00:05:39,444 --> 00:05:42,641
- And what’s your occupation?
- Senior bookkeeper.

50
00:05:42,814 --> 00:05:47,410
Is there something you would like
to say to our dear listeners

51
00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:50,850
before leaving
for this fascinating journey?

52
00:05:51,989 --> 00:05:54,856
As a matter of fact,
I didn’t want to go.

53
00:05:55,026 --> 00:05:56,550
I was about to buy my wife
a fur coat.

54
00:05:56,761 --> 00:06:00,697
The fur coat can wait.
It’s more important to see the world.

55
00:06:00,865 --> 00:06:04,699
He works day and night...
The fur coat can wait.

56
00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:06,427
So you’ve never before...

57
00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:09,732
No. We never travelled farther
than Dubrovka.

58
00:06:10,107 --> 00:06:12,769
Is it your first trip abroad, too?

59
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,946
- I’m not going.
- We’ve come to say goodbye to dad.

60
00:06:17,048 --> 00:06:21,644
Fish Street. That’s an important
street there. The Chikanuk pharmacy.

61
00:06:21,819 --> 00:06:23,081
Lyolik, I remember it all.

62
00:06:23,421 --> 00:06:26,015
Everything you do must look very
real. You fall down and swear...

63
00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:28,382
‘Damned apple!’
No...’Damned melon!’

64
00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,390
Keep that in mind!

65
00:06:30,995 --> 00:06:32,963
The injury...
Everything should be true to life.

66
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:37,533
As our chief says, ‘The most important
thing in our business is realism.’

67
00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:45,632
Happy landings, tourist!

68
00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:03,419
No, don’t...
Just go!

69
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:08,060
- Good morning!
- Good morning!

70
00:07:08,399 --> 00:07:11,630
- Is this Cabin 16?
- Yes, it’s 16.

71
00:07:11,802 --> 00:07:12,769
Are you bunking here, too?

72
00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:14,871
Yes. I’m Gennady Petrovich Kozodoyev.

73
00:07:15,039 --> 00:07:17,735
Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

74
00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:21,072
- I hope we’ll become friends.
- Oh, I think so.

75
00:07:21,679 --> 00:07:24,807
- Are you bringing along souvenirs?
- No.

76
00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:26,950
- I have some here...
- Vodka?

77
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,899
MIKHAIL SVETLOV

78
00:07:57,515 --> 00:08:01,383
Day Seven
of this fascinating cruise...

79
00:08:01,552 --> 00:08:04,783
I love the song
about hares.

80
00:08:04,956 --> 00:08:07,857
Senya, it’s not topical,
about hares!

81
00:08:08,826 --> 00:08:10,555
‘Island of Bad Luck’!

82
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:26,742
All covered with greenery,
Absolutely, stark,

83
00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:29,573
Lies in our itinerary
An island of bad luck.

84
00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:37,954
There live the savages,
Poor, wretched guys,

85
00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:41,091
Faces bear ravages,
But kind under disguise.

86
00:08:46,864 --> 00:08:49,662
Whatever they’re doing,
It never goes right.

87
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:52,598
They must be born to ruin
On a very black Friday night.

88
00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:01,243
Crocodiles not caught,
Coconuts won’t grow.

89
00:09:01,412 --> 00:09:03,812
They weep and pray to God
For days and days in a row.

90
00:09:09,887 --> 00:09:12,720
They are no idlers,
They could have had a ball.

91
00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:15,723
They ought to cancel Fridays
Once and for all.

92
00:09:21,599 --> 00:09:24,295
But, alas, no calendar
On the isle, there’s not!

93
00:09:24,468 --> 00:09:27,062
Every living islander
Just goes for a naught.

94
00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:32,803
But, alas, no calendar
On damn isle, there’s not!

95
00:09:32,977 --> 00:09:35,775
That’s why poor savages,
From early morn till night,

96
00:09:35,946 --> 00:09:38,779
Counting their damages,
Lament over their plight.

97
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:41,577
The poor devils moan,
Cursing their fate.

98
00:09:41,752 --> 00:09:44,619
What year is unknown,
As is unknown the date.

99
00:10:08,479 --> 00:10:10,777
...Finally, here is the last
port of call

100
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:13,075
before returning
to their motherland...

101
00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:08,963
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re now
in what is called the old town.

102
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:14,043
During the rule of the great
Emperor Shumunshin-Shah the Third,

103
00:11:14,645 --> 00:11:18,775
on these heights,
the Imperial architects had built

104
00:11:18,949 --> 00:11:21,679
a marvelous ensemble,

105
00:11:21,852 --> 00:11:23,581
which included a palace, a mosque,

106
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:27,918
a 1,200-bed harem,
and many other... similar delights.

107
00:11:43,474 --> 00:11:44,634
Have you gone crazy?

108
00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:46,003
Something’s wrong.
She wants me to go and see.

109
00:11:50,147 --> 00:11:52,581
Hey, no, no, impossible!

110
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,945
- What does she want?
- I'll tell you later.

111
00:11:55,119 --> 00:11:57,587
Lady, Senora, Frau, Miss,
it’s out of the question.

112
00:11:57,755 --> 00:12:02,317
Russo turista, capito, moralita!
Verstehen? That’s it!

113
00:12:02,493 --> 00:12:03,585
But what does she want?

114
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:15,097
We are most grateful to you. It was
a very interesting excursion.

115
00:12:23,581 --> 00:12:26,914
Attention, please!
Now everyone will be on his own.

116
00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:29,917
You can walk around the town.

117
00:12:30,087 --> 00:12:35,423
But at five o’clock sharp,
everyone must be back on board.

118
00:12:35,593 --> 00:12:36,924
See you later.

119
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:43,632
Guesha! Why are you leaving me
in the lurch?

120
00:12:43,801 --> 00:12:45,496
I didn’t leave you. I was waiting.

121
00:12:46,604 --> 00:12:47,571
Let’s go this way.

122
00:13:08,492 --> 00:13:09,459
Where’s he?

123
00:13:10,561 --> 00:13:12,028
Don’t worry,
he’ll come.

124
00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:16,893
- The password is ‘Damned melon’?
- Damned melon.

125
00:13:21,505 --> 00:13:23,473
Are you sure he’s on the SS
‘Mikhail Svetlov’?

126
00:13:24,008 --> 00:13:25,339
We were assured that he was.

127
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,477
The ship is leaving in an hour!

128
00:13:31,949 --> 00:13:32,916
Shut up!

129
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:41,557
Sorry, I guess I lost my temper.

130
00:14:05,683 --> 00:14:06,650
You know...

131
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:10,086
Guesha!

132
00:15:17,054 --> 00:15:18,078
Excuse me, Miss...

133
00:15:32,703 --> 00:15:33,897
Damned melon!

134
00:15:34,071 --> 00:15:36,335
Damned melon!

135
00:15:43,814 --> 00:15:45,782
- Russo?
- Yes.

136
00:15:46,016 --> 00:15:48,541
- ‘Mikhail Svetlov’?
- Yes, yes.

137
00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:54,555
Damned melon.
Damned melon...

138
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:03,867
What’s wrong with him?

139
00:16:05,402 --> 00:16:08,064
It’s a very bad sprain.
He’s even lost consciousness.

140
00:16:09,106 --> 00:16:10,073
Let’s get down to work.

141
00:17:30,787 --> 00:17:33,950
Damned melon! .

142
00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:36,957
‘Mikhail Svetlov’...

143
00:18:10,928 --> 00:18:11,917
Damned melon!

144
00:18:15,532 --> 00:18:16,726
Damned melon!

145
00:18:29,479 --> 00:18:32,448
Russo?
‘Mikhail Svetlov’?

146
00:18:35,619 --> 00:18:36,950
Why didn’t you use your brains?

147
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,315
But the other one gave the password
too. ‘Damned melon’.

148
00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:45,961
There follows an untranslatable play
on words

149
00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:48,393
with the use of local idiomatic
expressions.

150
00:18:53,503 --> 00:18:56,028
Comrades, it’s time!
The ship leaves in half an hour!

151
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:19,921
Those idiots claimed
he was unconscious.

152
00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:21,928
So the poor fool has no idea
what’s going on.

153
00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:23,066
That’s perfect!

154
00:19:37,414 --> 00:19:39,575
What’s this?

155
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:43,584
Nothing. Just contraband items
someone’s trying to smuggle in.

156
00:19:44,988 --> 00:19:48,947
Don’t worry.
Calm down... Drink some of this.

157
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:50,818
I never touch the stuff.

158
00:19:50,994 --> 00:19:54,760
Haven’t you read about it in ‘House
and Home’? Doctors recommend it.

159
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:58,332
It will calm your nervous system
and soothe your arteries.

160
00:20:00,804 --> 00:20:01,771
Drink up.

161
00:20:07,144 --> 00:20:09,942
Captain,
what do I do now?

162
00:20:10,113 --> 00:20:12,604
Nothing.
Just have fun and relax.

163
00:20:12,783 --> 00:20:15,775
But don’t breathe a word to anyone
about that contraband stuff.

164
00:20:15,952 --> 00:20:17,920
And if someone wants to know
what happened to my arm?

165
00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:22,923
Say you slipped, fell down
and got a closed fracture.

166
00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:26,118
You were knocked out, and when you
came to, it was already in a cast.

167
00:20:27,798 --> 00:20:30,926
I slipped, fell down,
a closed fracture.

168
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,898
I was knocked out,
I came to-a plaster cast.

169
00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:37,631
And don’t worry,
I’ll notify everyone concerned.

170
00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:39,075
Thank you very much.

171
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,375
Don’t you remember a thing?

172
00:20:45,916 --> 00:20:47,076
Be careful!

173
00:20:47,818 --> 00:20:50,013
- Why? I remember very well.
- You remember what?

174
00:20:50,921 --> 00:20:53,822
I slipped...
got knocked out.

175
00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:56,583
When I came to, I had this cast.
That’s all!

176
00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:01,825
- I wish I fell instead of you.
- Thanks. That’s nice of you, Guesha.

177
00:21:02,632 --> 00:21:04,327
Please, take care of your arm, Senya.

178
00:21:05,135 --> 00:21:06,762
Nadia is going to be upset.

179
00:21:06,937 --> 00:21:08,962
‘That’s c’est la vie,’
as Frenchmen say.

180
00:21:12,576 --> 00:21:13,804
I’m sorry, friend!

181
00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:53,448
Are you finished? Must I go already?

182
00:21:53,617 --> 00:21:55,312
Yes, move along, you’re in the way.

183
00:21:55,786 --> 00:21:57,754
- You’re through with me?
- That’s right.

184
00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:10,088
Could it be that the Captain didn’t
notify the customs? What do I do now?

185
00:22:11,735 --> 00:22:14,932
There he is! The stuff is safe.
As safe as in a safe.

186
00:22:15,105 --> 00:22:16,402
And the key?

187
00:22:17,140 --> 00:22:20,940
To quote our chief’s immortal words,
‘Once a halfwit always a halfwit.’

188
00:22:21,111 --> 00:22:24,774
- I don’t get it.
- You’ll get it. Let’s go to the chief!

189
00:22:39,663 --> 00:22:40,857
Hands off me!

190
00:23:02,052 --> 00:23:05,954
- Where are we going?
- Home.

191
00:23:09,693 --> 00:23:11,661
So you had a look at some foreign
ports?

192
00:23:12,629 --> 00:23:13,994
Yes, foreign ports.

193
00:23:15,499 --> 00:23:17,967
Where should I go?
To the police? Or home?

194
00:23:18,134 --> 00:23:19,601
This is the way home.

195
00:23:22,372 --> 00:23:25,535
I didn’t give him my address.
Where’s he taking me?

196
00:23:25,809 --> 00:23:28,039
There’s just one road here
that goes into the city.

197
00:23:28,478 --> 00:23:30,844
I want to go to Morskaya Street,
number 21, apartment 9.

198
00:23:32,015 --> 00:23:34,984
entrance three, third floor.

199
00:23:36,586 --> 00:23:37,917
What’s wrong with your arm?

200
00:23:38,088 --> 00:23:42,787
Why is he interested in my arm?
He looks suspicious.

201
00:23:43,827 --> 00:23:47,820
I slipped, fell down, got knocked out,
came to already in a cast.

202
00:23:48,532 --> 00:23:50,124
Excuse me, you’re an amateur actor,
aren’t you?

203
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,567
Yes, that’s right.

204
00:23:51,735 --> 00:23:54,636
Why did I lie to him?
Why did he ask me?

205
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:58,001
He’s trying to get information from
me. He looks more and more suspicious.

206
00:23:59,643 --> 00:24:01,770
Why did he turn there?
He should have kept going straight.

207
00:24:01,945 --> 00:24:04,743
The highway’s blocked for repairs.
We should make a detour.

208
00:24:05,982 --> 00:24:09,509
- Stop! Let’s give them a lift!
- I can’t. It’s against regulations.

209
00:24:09,686 --> 00:24:13,087
He didn’t pick up those girls.
He’s not a taxi driver. He’s a bandit.

210
00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:18,384
Why did you wait to tell him
who you were?

211
00:24:18,562 --> 00:24:21,326
I wanted to check
if he’s really fit for the job.

212
00:24:21,498 --> 00:24:23,398
Did he prove it?

213
00:24:23,567 --> 00:24:26,092
He proved it, Colonel.
He’s perfect!

214
00:24:28,705 --> 00:24:29,865
I never dreamed that he’d...

215
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,007
Hit you with the cast?

216
00:24:31,341 --> 00:24:33,673
Yes, sir!
I probably should have...

217
00:24:33,843 --> 00:24:36,038
No sense in it.
Does he agree?

218
00:24:36,379 --> 00:24:38,779
He agrees.
But still, I think we might...

219
00:24:38,949 --> 00:24:39,916
No sense in it.

220
00:24:40,083 --> 00:24:41,675
- May I suggest...
- You may not!

221
00:24:41,851 --> 00:24:44,319
- Maybe you'll let me...
- Yes, do that.

222
00:24:44,955 --> 00:24:47,423
This operation is your baby.
Act as you see right.

223
00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:49,789
Now go on with your report.

224
00:24:50,093 --> 00:24:55,998
Yes, sir. When we became better
acquainted, I outlined our plan...

225
00:24:56,766 --> 00:24:57,926
What do I do now?

226
00:24:58,101 --> 00:25:01,070
Nothing. Live as usual.
They’re going to bite the bait.

227
00:25:01,404 --> 00:25:03,634
They’ll be watching you,
we’ll be watching them.

228
00:25:03,807 --> 00:25:06,571
As soon as they try to get the cast,
we’ll close the trap.

229
00:25:07,344 --> 00:25:09,869
Like I’m the live bait.
I know, I’m a fisherman myself.

230
00:25:10,046 --> 00:25:13,447
They might offer to pay a ransom,
but I can bargain too.

231
00:25:13,617 --> 00:25:17,815
I don’t think so. They’re convinced
you don’t know a thing.

232
00:25:17,988 --> 00:25:22,448
They’ll want their goods back, without
paying and without your noticing.

233
00:25:23,026 --> 00:25:25,517
How can they take a plaster cast off
without my noticing?

234
00:25:25,695 --> 00:25:30,962
I’m not sure how they’ll try to do it,
but they can get you drunk,

235
00:25:31,134 --> 00:25:33,398
drug you or knock you out.

236
00:25:33,570 --> 00:25:36,835
It’s no problem to do it on someone
who’s knocked out or even dead.

237
00:25:39,075 --> 00:25:40,406
Who’s dead?

238
00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:42,803
But I don’t really think
it’ll go that far.

239
00:25:45,749 --> 00:25:47,649
Couldn’t you let someone else

240
00:25:47,817 --> 00:25:49,614
wear this plaster cast
for a little while?

241
00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:53,683
Well, you can always say no.

242
00:25:53,857 --> 00:25:56,724
No, I’m no coward,
I’m just afraid.

243
00:25:57,661 --> 00:26:00,255
Afraid I won’t be able to do it.

244
00:26:01,464 --> 00:26:04,900
Every man can do many things,

245
00:26:05,502 --> 00:26:09,370
but, sadly enough,
not everyone is aware of it.

246
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:12,565
That’s right, it happens so often.

247
00:26:12,742 --> 00:26:14,437
Let’s set up the liaison.

248
00:26:21,551 --> 00:26:23,314
Now what are you doing,
Semyon Semyonovich?

249
00:26:26,356 --> 00:26:31,521
How are we going to organize it?
In case we must speak to you...

250
00:26:31,695 --> 00:26:32,923
Come to my place.

251
00:26:33,096 --> 00:26:34,358
And when you must speak to us...

252
00:26:34,531 --> 00:26:35,896
I’ll call a taxi and give my name.

253
00:26:36,066 --> 00:26:39,331
Then I’ll come, or maybe my assistant.
Everything clear?

254
00:26:42,972 --> 00:26:45,941
Thanks very, very much.
And I’m sorry I was so...

255
00:26:46,576 --> 00:26:48,544
Forget it, we’ve seen much worse.

256
00:26:49,512 --> 00:26:51,605
Won’t you come up
and meet my wife?

257
00:26:52,382 --> 00:26:57,285
We’ve already agreed,
nobody must know about this.

258
00:26:58,688 --> 00:27:00,747
- Not even Nadia?
- No one.

259
00:27:00,924 --> 00:27:01,891
I understand.

260
00:27:06,029 --> 00:27:07,724
Semyon Semyonovich!
Your bags...

261
00:27:20,543 --> 00:27:21,737
Senya, the door.

262
00:27:31,488 --> 00:27:33,513
Welcome back, Semyon Semyonovich!

263
00:27:33,957 --> 00:27:35,447
Sorry that I’m so late.

264
00:27:35,625 --> 00:27:38,651
But my social work comes first.

265
00:27:39,562 --> 00:27:40,756
What’s wrong with your arm?

266
00:27:42,832 --> 00:27:45,630
On Wednesday you’re giving a lecture.

267
00:27:45,802 --> 00:27:47,394
We’ve put up the posters.

268
00:27:47,937 --> 00:27:52,670
You’re the only one from our
community who has ever been there.

269
00:27:52,876 --> 00:27:55,106
The subject is
‘New York, City of Contrasts’.

270
00:27:55,378 --> 00:27:59,280
I haven’t been to New York,
I’ve been to Istanbul.

271
00:27:59,449 --> 00:28:02,418
‘Istanbul, City of Contrasts’.
What difference does it make?

272
00:28:02,585 --> 00:28:03,813
But what about your arm?

273
00:28:04,521 --> 00:28:07,922
A closed fracture. I was knocked out.
When I came to, I had this cast on.

274
00:28:08,091 --> 00:28:10,559
So unpretentious, but in good taste.

275
00:28:11,995 --> 00:28:13,724
That’s really nice!

276
00:28:17,767 --> 00:28:19,860
Oh yes, so what’s it about your arm?

277
00:28:20,537 --> 00:28:22,004
That’s for you. A souvenir.

278
00:28:24,407 --> 00:28:26,432
Thank you, Semyon Semyonovich!

279
00:28:27,043 --> 00:28:28,510
Just press the button.

280
00:28:32,916 --> 00:28:35,077
- Isn’t it funny?
- Very funny.

281
00:28:37,687 --> 00:28:38,654
Thanks.

282
00:28:45,094 --> 00:28:46,755
Did you see Sophia Loren?

283
00:28:48,832 --> 00:28:50,424
Did you drink Coca-Cola?

284
00:28:52,068 --> 00:28:53,092
How does it taste?

285
00:28:56,372 --> 00:28:57,361
Go to sleep.

286
00:29:56,065 --> 00:29:58,397
Doctors recommend it.
It’ll help me sleep.

287
00:29:59,502 --> 00:30:01,470
I read it
in the ‘House and Home’ magazine.

288
00:30:09,379 --> 00:30:11,540
Tell me exactly
what did you do to your arm?

289
00:30:12,048 --> 00:30:14,608
I slipped, I fell down,
and got a closed fracture.

290
00:30:14,784 --> 00:30:16,615
I knocked myself out,
when I came to I had this cast on.

291
00:30:16,786 --> 00:30:22,486
I heard all that already. Please tell me
the truth, horrible as it may be.

292
00:30:22,759 --> 00:30:25,557
I walked in the street and I slipped...

293
00:30:32,035 --> 00:30:33,798
You never knew how to lie, did you?

294
00:30:34,737 --> 00:30:36,136
I know what happened.

295
00:30:37,573 --> 00:30:38,870
Who told you?

296
00:30:40,677 --> 00:30:42,702
I’m sure it’s not a closed fracture.

297
00:30:45,415 --> 00:30:47,474
What have you got there?

298
00:30:50,486 --> 00:30:51,646
Gold and diamonds.

299
00:30:52,588 --> 00:30:53,953
Stop kidding!

300
00:30:54,958 --> 00:30:59,657
You haven’t got a closed fracture.
You got a compound fracture!

301
00:31:04,634 --> 00:31:05,828
Let’s go to bed now.

302
00:32:56,479 --> 00:32:58,572
You should be killed for that!

303
00:32:58,981 --> 00:33:01,779
Please don’t beat me!
I’ll fix everything!

304
00:33:01,951 --> 00:33:03,578
I want to see you dead!

305
00:33:03,786 --> 00:33:07,586
I want to see you in your grave,
with a shroud around you!

306
00:33:09,892 --> 00:33:14,761
I want to see you living only
on your salary!

307
00:33:20,069 --> 00:33:24,597
Victor, can’t you read?

308
00:33:24,807 --> 00:33:26,331
‘Dogs walking not allowed!’

309
00:33:27,777 --> 00:33:29,335
Mommy, look!

310
00:33:29,979 --> 00:33:32,777
Oh, get down from there!

311
00:33:35,718 --> 00:33:38,619
Our lawns aren’t made to walk on!

312
00:33:38,788 --> 00:33:40,983
- Then what are they made for?
- Their aesthetic beauty!

313
00:33:41,591 --> 00:33:42,683
Then where can I walk him?

314
00:33:42,892 --> 00:33:45,918
You can walk him in your flat!

315
00:33:46,529 --> 00:33:48,929
What is this?
Good morning!

316
00:33:50,032 --> 00:33:53,627
I’ve been to London.
There, dogs walk anywhere they want.

317
00:33:55,171 --> 00:33:56,729
Dog is man’s best friend.

318
00:33:57,340 --> 00:34:03,006
It may be in London
that dog is man’s best friend,

319
00:34:03,746 --> 00:34:06,715
but here, man’s best friend
is the superintendent.

320
00:34:19,529 --> 00:34:21,429
Treasure handed to government

321
00:34:38,748 --> 00:34:39,874
Old man!

322
00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:42,411
Have you got a light?

323
00:34:48,658 --> 00:34:51,354
- What? You deaf and dumb?
- Right!

324
00:34:52,028 --> 00:34:53,120
I thought so...

325
00:35:00,102 --> 00:35:01,069
There he is!

326
00:35:08,411 --> 00:35:09,503
He’s an idiot.

327
00:35:09,979 --> 00:35:12,447
There’s no problem.
We’ll trap him! It’ll be easy.

328
00:35:12,949 --> 00:35:17,579
Invite him to go fishing
at the Black Stones.

329
00:35:17,753 --> 00:35:20,950
Like we agreed.
And arrange to spend the night there.

330
00:35:21,123 --> 00:35:22,886
Only do things right.

331
00:35:23,492 --> 00:35:26,586
Like give flowers to his old lady,
and ice-cream to both brats.

332
00:35:27,430 --> 00:35:30,661
If only you can remember all that,
Lord Nelson!

333
00:35:50,453 --> 00:35:53,547
You lamebrain! The ice-cream’s
for the brats!

334
00:36:03,399 --> 00:36:04,866
Oh, my eye? It’s nothing,
it’s getting better.

335
00:36:05,768 --> 00:36:09,636
Senya, how’s your arm?
No pain?

336
00:36:10,406 --> 00:36:13,307
Can you move your fingers?
No, no, the other arm.

337
00:36:14,110 --> 00:36:17,011
Good, you’ll be okay.

338
00:36:17,346 --> 00:36:20,315
You’re his friend.
Please, use your influence.

339
00:36:20,483 --> 00:36:24,579
He doesn’t take his arm seriously.

340
00:36:24,787 --> 00:36:27,517
You know what’s wrong with daddy’s
arm? It’s not what he tells everybody.

341
00:36:30,459 --> 00:36:31,426
And what is it?

342
00:36:32,695 --> 00:36:37,098
He’s got a compound fracture,
not a closed one.

343
00:36:40,703 --> 00:36:41,670
Now go to your mama.

344
00:36:41,937 --> 00:36:45,338
Senya, let’s go trout fishing with me.

345
00:36:45,508 --> 00:36:49,672
To the Black Stones. We’ll rent
a boat and spend the night there, huh?

346
00:36:56,018 --> 00:37:00,546
No, not for the night.
My arm might catch cold.

347
00:37:00,956 --> 00:37:05,859
- Let’s go in the morning.
- Anything you say.

348
00:37:06,028 --> 00:37:07,552
- So, at the crack of dawn then?
- Right!

349
00:37:13,602 --> 00:37:14,694
What are you doing?!

350
00:37:15,371 --> 00:37:18,431
Put down the gun
and apologize this very minute!

351
00:37:19,775 --> 00:37:21,072
Such a charming child!

352
00:37:26,615 --> 00:37:28,515
Our fashions were created by

353
00:37:28,684 --> 00:37:31,414
designer Margarita Semyonova,

354
00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:34,589
architect Rogal Levitskaya,

355
00:37:34,757 --> 00:37:38,352
chief designer
Albert Mudrik.

356
00:37:38,794 --> 00:37:43,822
Here is our summer combination
outfit ‘Universal-69’,

357
00:37:43,999 --> 00:37:45,591
which earned a prize of encouragement

358
00:37:45,768 --> 00:37:48,532
at the regional modern garment forum
in Zhitomir.

359
00:37:49,505 --> 00:37:51,973
The original feature of this model

360
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:56,971
being that you can very easily
change the coat into a jacket.

361
00:38:01,016 --> 00:38:02,779
But that’s not all!

362
00:38:03,085 --> 00:38:04,780
With just a twist of your wrist,

363
00:38:05,588 --> 00:38:08,056
your trousers are changed...

364
00:38:09,592 --> 00:38:12,060
your trousers are changed...

365
00:38:13,662 --> 00:38:16,358
the trousers are changed...

366
00:38:18,834 --> 00:38:20,699
to elegantly looking shorts.

367
00:38:21,103 --> 00:38:24,630
You will forgive us the delay
due to a technical incident.

368
00:38:24,974 --> 00:38:27,807
And finally, we present our latest
model,

369
00:38:28,511 --> 00:38:29,876
a beach ensemble

370
00:38:30,413 --> 00:38:33,507
‘Mini-bikini-69’.

371
00:38:51,801 --> 00:38:54,031
Why is the chief here?

372
00:38:54,370 --> 00:38:57,271
The plan’s been changed. You’ll pull
off the operation at White Rock.

373
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,965
- Why?
- Not such a big crowd there.

374
00:39:00,342 --> 00:39:02,401
They don’t bite at White Rock!

375
00:39:02,578 --> 00:39:07,481
They’ll bite so well that our customer
will forget about everything.

376
00:39:07,650 --> 00:39:09,413
Is all the rest according to the plan?

377
00:39:09,585 --> 00:39:13,043
Everything’s the same otherwise.
You’ll knock him out a little...

378
00:39:14,657 --> 00:39:16,921
You know, that’s not artistic.

379
00:39:17,092 --> 00:39:18,992
But it’s cheap and very practical.

380
00:39:19,328 --> 00:39:21,421
Chip off the plaster and we split.

381
00:39:21,597 --> 00:39:22,825
What about my alibi?

382
00:39:22,998 --> 00:39:27,901
Try and get marks of violence
on your face.

383
00:39:28,103 --> 00:39:29,764
But I’m begging you to...

384
00:39:29,939 --> 00:39:31,804
Don’t you worry, Kozlodoyev.

385
00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:33,440
Kozodoyev!

386
00:39:33,909 --> 00:39:35,433
Kozlodoyev!

387
00:39:36,345 --> 00:39:39,075
I’ll bash you real carefully,
but hard.

388
00:39:40,983 --> 00:39:42,575
Good evening.

389
00:39:42,751 --> 00:39:44,719
Where are you going so late at night?

390
00:39:44,887 --> 00:39:49,051
I’m going fishing early in the morning,
and I forgot to go to the baker’s.

391
00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:52,383
There’s one open
at the other end of town.

392
00:40:23,392 --> 00:40:24,484
Poor guy!

393
00:40:25,461 --> 00:40:28,862
To think that it should’ve been me.

394
00:40:29,031 --> 00:40:30,555
Get drunk and it’ll be you.

395
00:40:31,534 --> 00:40:32,626
Let’s load him on.

396
00:40:45,948 --> 00:40:48,143
Good evening, Semyon Semyonovich!

397
00:40:49,018 --> 00:40:51,009
But I don’t know you.

398
00:40:51,186 --> 00:40:53,518
- Call me Volodya.
- Senya.

399
00:40:55,424 --> 00:40:57,449
I bring you greetings from
Mikhail Ivanovich.

400
00:40:59,428 --> 00:41:01,089
He wants to see you urgently.

401
00:41:01,697 --> 00:41:03,665
- When?
- Why not now?

402
00:41:04,567 --> 00:41:05,795
Then I’ll be late to buy bread.

403
00:41:05,968 --> 00:41:08,766
Don’t worry, I’ve got my car.

404
00:41:12,775 --> 00:41:15,608
Well, thanks very much, Volodya.
Good night.

405
00:41:15,778 --> 00:41:18,076
I wish you a good fishing trip.

406
00:41:18,414 --> 00:41:20,609
You’re sure you’ll be going
to the Black Stones?

407
00:41:20,783 --> 00:41:21,943
Yes.

408
00:41:25,721 --> 00:41:26,949
Good night then!

409
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,755
Our tenants don’t go to the baker’s
in a taxi.

410
00:42:06,629 --> 00:42:09,598
I guess this is it.
Or maybe...

411
00:42:09,832 --> 00:42:13,666
We shouldn’t have come here.
The fish bite better at Black Stones.

412
00:42:14,370 --> 00:42:17,931
They’re going to bite so well here
that you’ll forget about everything.

413
00:45:30,999 --> 00:45:33,297
Help!

414
00:45:37,439 --> 00:45:39,304
Help me!

415
00:45:41,977 --> 00:45:43,501
SOS!

416
00:45:57,025 --> 00:45:58,652
Lyolik!

417
00:45:59,394 --> 00:46:00,725
Idiot!

418
00:46:02,598 --> 00:46:04,566
Mama! I’m going to die!

419
00:46:05,300 --> 00:46:06,961
Lyolik!

420
00:46:07,603 --> 00:46:09,503
Help!

421
00:46:10,472 --> 00:46:12,440
Mama!

422
00:46:14,042 --> 00:46:16,567
- Why are you yelling like that?
- Don’t interfere, boy!

423
00:46:28,457 --> 00:46:32,655
Let’s pray to our Lord...

424
00:47:33,355 --> 00:47:35,880
Get out of my way, milksop!
Get out of here!

425
00:47:42,097 --> 00:47:44,964
There go ducks flying...

426
00:47:50,806 --> 00:47:55,334
As well as two geese...

427
00:47:57,579 --> 00:48:00,844
The chief’s giving us a big chance
to make it up to him.

428
00:48:01,650 --> 00:48:04,710
The place for this new operation
under the code name ‘ wild duck’...

429
00:48:08,657 --> 00:48:11,751
will be a restaurant called
‘The Weeping Willow Tree’.

430
00:48:12,361 --> 00:48:17,060
Straight north of the building,
about a hundred yards off,

431
00:48:17,666 --> 00:48:21,693
there’re toilettes of a john kind...

432
00:48:26,675 --> 00:48:30,008
which are designated on the map
by the letters ‘M’ and ‘W’.

433
00:48:31,046 --> 00:48:34,948
The path leading to the toilettes
goes by a spruce tree,

434
00:48:35,117 --> 00:48:37,381
where I will be.

435
00:48:38,353 --> 00:48:40,014
That’ll be our stationing.

436
00:48:40,622 --> 00:48:44,456
Your mission is to invite the customer
to the restaurant for dinner,

437
00:48:45,494 --> 00:48:49,089
then bring him to the right condition
until he wants... to wash up.

438
00:48:49,564 --> 00:48:52,590
After you show him the way,

439
00:48:52,768 --> 00:48:57,865
you immediately regain
your original position.

440
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,905
You’ve got an alibi
no one will challenge,

441
00:49:00,075 --> 00:49:03,602
while our customer, passing by the
spruce tree, gets into my hands.

442
00:49:04,513 --> 00:49:06,708
Everything that follows is just
a matter of expertise.

443
00:49:06,882 --> 00:49:09,976
But how am I going to bring him to
the right condition? He doesn’t drink.

444
00:49:10,318 --> 00:49:11,615
To quote our chief,
‘When there’s a sucker who pays

445
00:49:11,820 --> 00:49:16,780
you’ll see teetotalers drink,
including those who have ulcers.’

446
00:49:30,705 --> 00:49:33,299
With just a salary to live on,
you can’t take taxis!

447
00:49:33,975 --> 00:49:36,068
Give me a hundred tickets.

448
00:49:37,112 --> 00:49:40,013
If you buy them, just imagine,
you can win...

449
00:49:40,348 --> 00:49:41,508
A fire engine!

450
00:49:41,683 --> 00:49:46,882
Stop your advertising. I’m not buying
tickets to win.

451
00:49:49,624 --> 00:49:51,956
Peddle these tickets
to our tenants.

452
00:49:52,494 --> 00:49:54,826
If they won’t buy,
I’ll cut off their gas.

453
00:49:57,632 --> 00:49:58,826
Is everything perfectly clear?

454
00:50:00,368 --> 00:50:02,097
Hang around all the markets,

455
00:50:02,437 --> 00:50:05,463
and the free exchange stores.
Be seen in the restaurants.

456
00:50:08,443 --> 00:50:10,673
Let people see you as much as you can.

457
00:50:10,879 --> 00:50:14,110
Here, for your expenses.

458
00:50:14,449 --> 00:50:15,643
No, no, I wouldn’t think of it!

459
00:50:15,817 --> 00:50:20,345
Please, no initiative.
Take it, it’s five hundred rubles.

460
00:50:22,023 --> 00:50:23,047
In the new denomination?

461
00:50:45,046 --> 00:50:48,675
- Something wrong with your head?
- I hid the cash.

462
00:50:48,850 --> 00:50:51,910
- Come on, Semyon Semyonovich...
- I got it.

463
00:50:52,954 --> 00:50:54,046
And take this.

464
00:50:58,093 --> 00:50:59,082
What’s that for?

465
00:50:59,794 --> 00:51:03,093
You can never tell.

466
00:51:09,571 --> 00:51:11,300
I haven’t had it in my hands
since the war.

467
00:51:11,573 --> 00:51:14,337
It’s not a real gun,
it’s rather psychological.

468
00:51:14,943 --> 00:51:18,879
You can use it to scare someone.
We loaded it with blanks.

469
00:51:19,414 --> 00:51:23,783
Can’t I have a real one?
You can never tell.

470
00:51:24,553 --> 00:51:26,544
- No, you’d better not.
- I see.

471
00:51:27,756 --> 00:51:30,316
Semyon Semyonovich,
what’s the matter with you?

472
00:51:49,945 --> 00:51:51,037
That’s how it should be.

473
00:51:53,548 --> 00:51:56,540
The Weeping Willow Tree Restaurant

474
00:51:56,985 --> 00:52:00,751
Fedya, we’d like to have also...
a wild duck.

475
00:52:03,858 --> 00:52:04,950
No problem.

476
00:52:05,126 --> 00:52:08,027
- What are we going to drink?
- Beer for me, huh?

477
00:52:08,697 --> 00:52:12,724
A bottle of vodka and a bottle of
cognac. And two bottles of beer.

478
00:52:13,702 --> 00:52:16,102
Oh, I forgot to call my mother.
One second...

479
00:52:22,077 --> 00:52:27,037
Good evening!
I told Fedya to bring a wild duck.

480
00:52:29,818 --> 00:52:31,308
I hope you have some?

481
00:52:35,523 --> 00:52:37,115
Lyolik, I’m waiting.

482
00:52:37,792 --> 00:52:39,350
Soon our customer will be ripe.

483
00:52:41,796 --> 00:52:43,787
I saw the chief. He’s here.

484
00:53:01,783 --> 00:53:04,411
- Is this one taken?
- Yes, sorry.

485
00:53:10,992 --> 00:53:12,755
That’s it. Here we go again.

486
00:53:13,795 --> 00:53:16,457
Keep calm.
And don’t sit there. Act.

487
00:53:20,502 --> 00:53:22,470
Excuse me, where’s the telephone?

488
00:53:23,805 --> 00:53:24,772
Thanks.

489
00:53:25,940 --> 00:53:30,400
This is Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

490
00:53:30,945 --> 00:53:34,972
Please send a taxi to the Weeping
Willow Restaurant.

491
00:53:36,384 --> 00:53:38,477
It’s urgent.

492
00:53:40,088 --> 00:53:42,113
Well, shall we start?

493
00:53:43,391 --> 00:53:44,915
No, no, I’ve got my beer.

494
00:53:55,470 --> 00:53:58,064
He’s watching me.
Let him see that I’m drinking.

495
00:53:59,908 --> 00:54:02,308
- Here’s to your bonus.
- And may it not be the last one.

496
00:54:11,820 --> 00:54:13,447
After the first drink, one never eats.

497
00:54:13,988 --> 00:54:16,616
Let’s drink some vodka to your health!

498
00:54:17,559 --> 00:54:18,526
All right.

499
00:54:35,009 --> 00:54:35,976
Have a chaser.

500
00:54:40,715 --> 00:54:45,345
I’ll bet that if anyone of you
had found a treasure,

501
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:46,987
you would have done exactly
like I did.

502
00:54:47,389 --> 00:54:48,686
What are you going to do
with your reward?

503
00:54:48,957 --> 00:54:52,120
For the money that the state
has to pay me by law...

504
00:54:53,395 --> 00:54:54,692
on my friends’ advice,

505
00:54:54,896 --> 00:54:57,922
I’m going to buy a Moskvitch car.

506
00:54:58,767 --> 00:54:59,995
The very latest model!

507
00:55:03,538 --> 00:55:04,505
One second.

508
00:55:09,043 --> 00:55:11,068
The customer is nearly ripe.
You better get ready!

509
00:55:11,413 --> 00:55:13,643
I’m always ready!
You idiot!

510
00:55:32,567 --> 00:55:34,762
- What do you want?
- To see you, pal.

511
00:55:36,805 --> 00:55:39,296
- Don’t you recognize me?
- I don’t think so.

512
00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:43,033
- Let’s have a drink.
- Why not?

513
00:55:55,390 --> 00:55:57,358
I didn’t recognize you right away
either.

514
00:55:59,727 --> 00:56:01,285
Why did you shave your mustache?

515
00:56:02,964 --> 00:56:05,489
I said, why did you shave off
your mustache, dumbbell?

516
00:56:07,869 --> 00:56:09,063
Whose mustache?

517
00:56:10,338 --> 00:56:15,742
- To whom have I the honor?
- I went to school with this dumbbell.

518
00:56:15,910 --> 00:56:17,878
Why did Volodya shave his mustache?

519
00:56:19,681 --> 00:56:23,947
Senya, hurry up and tell the comrade
why Volodya shaved his mustache.

520
00:56:24,118 --> 00:56:25,745
We’ve got very little time.

521
00:56:41,069 --> 00:56:43,970
Sorry, I’m mistaken.

522
00:56:45,139 --> 00:56:49,098
If you’d had a mustache, you’d be
the double of Volodya Trynkin.

523
00:56:49,444 --> 00:56:53,972
- At what time does your plane leave?
- Yes, the plane...

524
00:56:54,148 --> 00:56:56,480
If you get a chance to go to Siberia...

525
00:56:58,887 --> 00:57:01,481
If you get a chance to go to Siberia,
you’ll be very welcome.

526
00:57:01,890 --> 00:57:03,619
Why don’t you better come to see us?

527
00:57:03,825 --> 00:57:04,792
See you around.

528
00:57:08,663 --> 00:57:12,064
I’m glad he’s not the smuggler.
He looks like a likable guy.

529
00:57:12,867 --> 00:57:14,494
Why did I drink all that stuff?

530
00:57:18,740 --> 00:57:21,868
Senya, are you in the right condition?

531
00:57:22,844 --> 00:57:24,505
- What condition?
- The right one?

532
00:57:24,979 --> 00:57:25,946
No!

533
00:57:26,114 --> 00:57:28,947
- In that case, one more drink...
- No!

534
00:57:29,117 --> 00:57:30,084
You must!

535
00:57:30,985 --> 00:57:34,751
Senya, do you respect me?

536
00:57:36,357 --> 00:57:38,325
I do, but I’m through.

537
00:57:39,127 --> 00:57:42,585
- Then I’m going to bite you.
- Go ahead.

538
00:57:47,936 --> 00:57:50,598
Guesha, people are staring.

539
00:57:54,008 --> 00:57:56,977
- Will you drink with the duck?
- Why not?

540
00:57:57,946 --> 00:58:01,609
- Fedya, the duck!
- The duck!

541
00:58:09,524 --> 00:58:12,982
- Is that a duck?
- That’s a duck!

542
00:58:14,829 --> 00:58:16,456
They don’t drink vodka with duck.

543
00:58:16,965 --> 00:58:17,932
We must drink...

544
00:58:18,766 --> 00:58:21,792
I get you. Fedya, champagne!

545
00:58:22,537 --> 00:58:24,061
- Here’s to you.
- Thanks.

546
00:58:26,841 --> 00:58:29,435
Perhaps you wish to wash up a bit?

547
00:58:29,978 --> 00:58:33,038
You heard what he said?
Time to wash up! Let’s go.

548
00:58:33,381 --> 00:58:36,612
- And the duck?
- It won’t fly away. It’s cooked.

549
00:58:36,884 --> 00:58:38,977
Behave yourself... Hurry up!

550
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,288
Straight north of the place,
about a hundred yard walk.

551
00:58:42,890 --> 00:58:43,857
Now what?

552
00:58:47,895 --> 00:58:48,862
Senya!

553
00:58:59,641 --> 00:59:01,336
Song about the hares!

554
00:59:05,013 --> 00:59:07,277
In the heart of the woods

555
00:59:07,915 --> 00:59:09,883
Where leaves twirl in flight,

556
00:59:10,385 --> 00:59:14,412
Where age-old oaks
Loom like wizardly gods,

557
00:59:14,956 --> 00:59:18,915
Hares mowed the grass
In a grove at midnight,

558
00:59:19,427 --> 00:59:23,761
And they sang a strange song
With the following words:

559
00:59:24,932 --> 00:59:29,369
We couldn’t care less,
We couldn’t care less,

560
00:59:29,604 --> 00:59:33,062
Though owls and wolves
Make us real wuss.

561
00:59:34,108 --> 00:59:36,076
We’ve got a job to do

562
00:59:36,477 --> 00:59:38,411
At this hour of voodoo,

563
00:59:38,613 --> 00:59:42,071
We’re mowing the grass,
A truly magic grass.

564
00:59:43,117 --> 00:59:47,645
And the wizardly oaks
Whisper something in darkness.

565
00:59:48,456 --> 00:59:52,358
By the stench-soaked bogs,
Shadows loom in the rain.

566
00:59:53,061 --> 00:59:56,724
Hares mow their grass,
Feeling lost, feeling luckless,

567
00:59:57,131 --> 01:00:01,659
And out of fright
Hasten their refrain:

568
01:00:02,704 --> 01:00:06,538
We couldn’t care less,
We couldn’t care less,

569
01:00:06,941 --> 01:00:10,468
Though owls and wolves
Make us real wuss.

570
01:00:11,145 --> 01:00:15,104
We’ve got a job to do
At this hour of voodoo,

571
01:00:15,683 --> 01:00:18,914
We’re mowing the grass,
A truly magic grass.

572
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:23,354
We couldn’t care less,
We couldn’t care less,

573
01:00:23,524 --> 01:00:26,687
We firmly believe
In the saying of the past,

574
01:00:26,961 --> 01:00:28,929
That bold’ll be the one

575
01:00:29,697 --> 01:00:30,857
Who thrice this has done:

576
01:00:31,099 --> 01:00:32,623
At the hour of voodoo

577
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:33,994
Mowed magic grass.

578
01:00:34,168 --> 01:00:37,865
We couldn’t care less,
We couldn’t care less,

579
01:00:38,039 --> 01:00:40,974
Bolder we’ll be
Than the lion, king of beast!

580
01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:44,776
We’ll hold out once,
We won’t screw this chance,

581
01:00:44,946 --> 01:00:47,915
And no evil thing
Will ruffle us in the least!

582
01:01:02,130 --> 01:01:05,327
We couldn’t care less,
We couldn’t care less,

583
01:01:05,767 --> 01:01:08,327
Bolder we’ll be
Than the lion, king of beast!

584
01:01:08,636 --> 01:01:11,730
We’ll hold out once,
We won’t screw this chance,

585
01:01:11,906 --> 01:01:14,966
And no evil thing
Will ruffle us in the least!

586
01:01:40,802 --> 01:01:44,329
Something has to be done.

587
01:01:44,505 --> 01:01:46,370
We won’t put up with drunkenness!

588
01:01:46,741 --> 01:01:49,505
But you know very well,
Varvara Sergeyevna, that...

589
01:01:49,677 --> 01:01:53,374
I know a lot more than you do,
my dear. Where did he get the money?

590
01:01:53,681 --> 01:01:56,377
He was invited by a friend
who had gotten a bonus.

591
01:01:56,684 --> 01:01:59,949
According to police records,
just for one bay window he broke

592
01:02:00,121 --> 01:02:02,487
he paid ninety seven rubles
and eighteen kopecks.

593
01:02:02,657 --> 01:02:04,625
Where did he get that kind of money?

594
01:02:05,393 --> 01:02:08,920
Your husband has changed
since that cruise.

595
01:02:09,630 --> 01:02:11,757
The corruptive Western influence.

596
01:02:11,999 --> 01:02:13,967
Those idiotic toys.

597
01:02:14,569 --> 01:02:17,970
And the thing he said about dogs.
‘The best friend of man.’

598
01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:21,535
It’s odd,
and this is only an understatement.

599
01:02:21,976 --> 01:02:24,536
All those elements of ‘la dolce vita’!

600
01:02:24,779 --> 01:02:28,613
I wouldn’t be surprised to hear

601
01:02:28,783 --> 01:02:34,085
that your husband’s secretly
seeing a mistress.

602
01:02:34,422 --> 01:02:35,389
What?!

603
01:03:37,385 --> 01:03:39,979
- Is this yours?
- Mine.

604
01:03:40,154 --> 01:03:42,884
- And where did you get it?
- You know where.

605
01:03:44,725 --> 01:03:45,885
That cruise, huh?

606
01:03:49,664 --> 01:03:50,892
He’s been enrolled in a spy ring!

607
01:03:51,799 --> 01:03:52,891
How could he do that?

608
01:03:54,602 --> 01:03:56,433
He’s so naive.

609
01:03:57,772 --> 01:04:01,936
His arm... They tortured him!
Why didn’t I think of it before?

610
01:04:02,109 --> 01:04:03,406
Oh, my God!

611
01:04:03,878 --> 01:04:06,073
We couldn’t care less...

612
01:04:08,983 --> 01:04:13,443
What am I going to do?
And what happens to the children?

613
01:04:14,355 --> 01:04:15,583
Such a disgrace!

614
01:04:17,925 --> 01:04:19,893
There’s only one way out.

615
01:04:21,095 --> 01:04:22,562
Just one way out...

616
01:04:25,132 --> 01:04:26,463
Just one.

617
01:04:38,913 --> 01:04:40,471
Enough!

618
01:04:42,416 --> 01:04:46,716
Only aristocrats and degenerates
drink champagne in the morning.

619
01:04:56,764 --> 01:04:58,322
We’re going to see the chief
right now!

620
01:05:01,369 --> 01:05:03,803
I can’t go in my condition.

621
01:05:04,705 --> 01:05:09,267
I need to take a bath at least,

622
01:05:09,777 --> 01:05:11,574
and a cup of coffee.

623
01:05:11,746 --> 01:05:14,977
You’ll get your bath all right there,
and coffee, too.

624
01:05:15,316 --> 01:05:18,513
Even some cocoa with tea!
Let’s go!

625
01:05:22,490 --> 01:05:24,651
Let’s go, Guesha.

626
01:05:44,111 --> 01:05:46,443
Nadia! Nadia, honey!

627
01:05:47,148 --> 01:05:50,777
Senya, calm down.

628
01:05:52,019 --> 01:05:53,919
There’s a way out.

629
01:05:54,789 --> 01:05:57,587
You must go to the police
and tell them everything.

630
01:05:58,092 --> 01:06:00,060
- About what?
- Your treason.

631
01:06:01,762 --> 01:06:06,722
SHAME ON THE DRUNKARD AND
DEBAUCHER S.S. GORBUNKOV!

632
01:06:15,443 --> 01:06:17,308
How could you possibly imagine that?

633
01:06:17,478 --> 01:06:19,378
You, my wife,
mother of my children!

634
01:06:19,547 --> 01:06:21,378
Oh no! Not that!

635
01:06:21,549 --> 01:06:23,517
How else could I possibly explain it?

636
01:06:23,684 --> 01:06:25,652
You could imagine anything,
but not that!

637
01:06:25,853 --> 01:06:27,980
Oh, this is the end!

638
01:06:28,889 --> 01:06:31,016
Where did you get that gun
and that money?

639
01:06:31,358 --> 01:06:33,758
Shut up, you wretched soul!
Shut up!

640
01:06:37,932 --> 01:06:40,901
Senya, tell me, where did you get
that pistol and that money?

641
01:06:42,503 --> 01:06:44,971
I beg you, please tell me!

642
01:06:45,706 --> 01:06:48,834
All right, I will tell you.
But don’t say a word to anyone!

643
01:06:49,009 --> 01:06:49,976
I swear.

644
01:06:53,514 --> 01:06:54,913
It’s a state secret.

645
01:06:55,583 --> 01:06:59,417
That money and that gun were given me
to help me with my mission.

646
01:06:59,954 --> 01:07:02,923
- What mission?
- Sorry, I can’t tell you that.

647
01:07:03,090 --> 01:07:05,558
When the time comes,
you’ll know everything.

648
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:10,628
You might even... get a reward...

649
01:07:14,468 --> 01:07:15,492
After I’m gone!

650
01:07:18,472 --> 01:07:20,804
That’s a marvelous plan, chief!

651
01:07:21,709 --> 01:07:24,803
At twelve o’clock it will be ready
to roll.

652
01:07:25,779 --> 01:07:26,837
A genius!

653
01:07:44,798 --> 01:07:45,822
Good morning.

654
01:07:51,505 --> 01:07:53,996
- Good morning.
- Bon jour, Madame.

655
01:07:56,544 --> 01:07:59,342
I’m enchanted to welcome you
in this modest, but rather cozy...

656
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,479
Salut, wonder boy!

657
01:08:04,818 --> 01:08:05,910
The chief sent me.

658
01:08:06,086 --> 01:08:07,713
Everything is ready.

659
01:08:09,323 --> 01:08:12,815
- The papers?
- The passport is right here.

660
01:08:14,995 --> 01:08:17,054
- Which joint?
- Hotel Atlantic.

661
01:08:17,398 --> 01:08:19,423
A nice double room, all prepaid.

662
01:08:20,968 --> 01:08:26,565
- The guy?
- Front view. Profile.

663
01:08:30,778 --> 01:08:31,802
The fee?

664
01:08:35,082 --> 01:08:36,572
An advance, for starters.

665
01:08:44,558 --> 01:08:46,856
One pill will be enough.

666
01:08:51,131 --> 01:08:56,535
Excuse me, haven’t you got the same
thing, but without the wings?

667
01:08:56,704 --> 01:08:57,762
No, sorry, we haven’t.

668
01:08:57,938 --> 01:08:59,701
Well, I’ll look around.

669
01:09:05,512 --> 01:09:08,606
Haven’t you got something like this,
but with mother-of-pearl buttons?

670
01:09:08,782 --> 01:09:10,044
No, sorry, we haven’t any.

671
01:09:10,951 --> 01:09:11,940
Well, I’ll have a look around.

672
01:09:28,469 --> 01:09:29,868
- Who, me?
- Yes.

673
01:09:30,671 --> 01:09:34,368
Excuse me.
I overheard you...

674
01:09:34,541 --> 01:09:39,569
I’ve got what you’re looking for,
with the mother-of-pearl buttons.

675
01:09:40,047 --> 01:09:41,742
Only it’s in my suitcase at the hotel.

676
01:09:41,915 --> 01:09:43,746
- Do you need it badly?
- Yes.

677
01:09:44,118 --> 01:09:45,642
Then I’ll give you my address.

678
01:09:46,353 --> 01:09:49,754
Hotel Atlantic.
It’s not far from here.

679
01:09:57,631 --> 01:09:59,098
Will nine o’clock be convenient
for you?

680
01:09:59,533 --> 01:10:00,761
All right then.

681
01:10:01,802 --> 01:10:06,102
Here you are. I’ll be looking forward
to seeing you.

682
01:10:11,145 --> 01:10:17,846
Nine sharp. Hotel Atlantic.
Room 327. Anna Sergeyevna.

683
01:10:18,018 --> 01:10:20,543
I have a gut feeling
it’s a real fish this time.

684
01:10:20,788 --> 01:10:21,914
What does she look like?

685
01:10:26,593 --> 01:10:27,560
I see.

686
01:10:28,028 --> 01:10:30,758
Keep on your toes. I expect a better
show from you than last night.

687
01:10:31,165 --> 01:10:33,633
I don’t drink at all.
A friend invited me.

688
01:10:33,801 --> 01:10:35,860
By the way, how is he
after last night?

689
01:10:36,036 --> 01:10:38,061
I don’t know, he didn’t phone.

690
01:10:39,173 --> 01:10:42,631
All right, go to the hotel
and act depending on the situation.

691
01:10:42,810 --> 01:10:44,778
There might be accomplices there,
check it out.

692
01:10:44,945 --> 01:10:45,934
Is your gun with you?

693
01:10:48,749 --> 01:10:49,716
The psychic one.

694
01:10:49,883 --> 01:10:51,817
We’ll hear your signal.
The note, please.

695
01:10:57,491 --> 01:10:59,584
Chanel, number five.

696
01:10:59,927 --> 01:11:00,894
I’ll be seeing you!

697
01:11:40,167 --> 01:11:43,568
Where are you going?
Ah, your mission.

698
01:11:44,605 --> 01:11:47,802
- Be careful!
- I’ll be all right.

699
01:12:03,357 --> 01:12:04,324
I’ll be back soon.

700
01:12:20,474 --> 01:12:22,442
Hotel Atlantic

701
01:12:27,014 --> 01:12:29,482
- The customer’s here.
- Perfect.

702
01:12:40,461 --> 01:12:42,326
Hello, Five? He just went in.

703
01:12:44,031 --> 01:12:45,555
Roger. Out.

704
01:12:58,912 --> 01:13:04,578
Hotel Atlantic. Room 327.
Anna Sergeyevna. Nine o’clock.

705
01:13:09,490 --> 01:13:10,752
Come in!

706
01:13:27,774 --> 01:13:28,832
At last!

707
01:13:29,009 --> 01:13:31,671
Good evening.
Have a seat. I’ll be right with you.

708
01:13:51,965 --> 01:13:52,932
What are you up to?

709
01:13:53,166 --> 01:13:54,565
What’s the matter?

710
01:13:55,669 --> 01:13:58,638
My cuff link. It rolled under there.

711
01:14:00,674 --> 01:14:02,801
Here, it came off.

712
01:14:03,010 --> 01:14:05,410
You nearly frightened me to death.

713
01:14:06,380 --> 01:14:07,870
Let me help you.

714
01:14:10,984 --> 01:14:12,611
I thought something had really gone
wrong.

715
01:14:13,086 --> 01:14:14,951
See, my heart’s thumping like crazy.

716
01:14:15,522 --> 01:14:16,546
Feel it.

717
01:14:18,892 --> 01:14:19,859
Feel it.

718
01:14:20,694 --> 01:14:21,820
I feel it.

719
01:14:23,630 --> 01:14:27,464
As soon as he’s asleep,
she’ll turn out the lights.

720
01:14:27,634 --> 01:14:29,465
What if he leaves?

721
01:14:29,636 --> 01:14:33,333
- Could you leave a girl like that?
- But he’s a faithful husband.

722
01:14:33,507 --> 01:14:35,475
There is no husband

723
01:14:35,642 --> 01:14:38,611
who has not longed to be a bachelor
at least for an hour.

724
01:14:41,148 --> 01:14:42,775
Look out for the signal!

725
01:15:11,845 --> 01:15:13,813
How about that gown?

726
01:15:14,915 --> 01:15:19,375
A friend’s going to bring it
in a minute or two.

727
01:15:19,620 --> 01:15:22,088
- Do you mind waiting?
- No, I don’t mind.

728
01:15:27,494 --> 01:15:29,086
In the meantime, would you like
some wine?

729
01:15:31,565 --> 01:15:34,659
I’d rather have... beer.

730
01:15:36,370 --> 01:15:38,895
I only have wine.

731
01:16:22,683 --> 01:16:25,516
Here’s to our chance encounter.

732
01:16:28,955 --> 01:16:30,923
Come on, drink!

733
01:16:45,806 --> 01:16:47,899
What’s keeping your friend?
Maybe, I’ll come back another time?

734
01:16:48,575 --> 01:16:49,906
Who cares about her anyway?

735
01:16:50,077 --> 01:16:52,045
My gown is as good as hers.

736
01:16:55,148 --> 01:16:56,274
Let me show you.

737
01:18:33,613 --> 01:18:36,639
It’s not my fault, I swear!

738
01:18:37,784 --> 01:18:39,809
He came here on his own!

739
01:19:20,093 --> 01:19:21,924
I saw your special mission.

740
01:19:23,096 --> 01:19:26,793
After such a monstrous lie,
I will not stay with you any longer!

741
01:19:28,768 --> 01:19:31,737
I’m sure the children will understand
when they grow up.

742
01:19:32,672 --> 01:19:35,368
I’ll take care of the divorce
formalities. Goodbye.

743
01:19:46,853 --> 01:19:48,411
Good morning.

744
01:19:54,628 --> 01:19:56,596
I’ve got to leave right now
for Dubrovka.

745
01:19:56,763 --> 01:19:58,594
Right! But not now.

746
01:19:59,366 --> 01:20:03,325
Tomorrow we’ll send you a taxi.
Will eight o’clock be all right?

747
01:20:03,503 --> 01:20:04,765
But why not today?

748
01:20:04,938 --> 01:20:07,600
Today we’ll need your help.

749
01:20:09,009 --> 01:20:11,603
We want you
to meet your friend.

750
01:20:12,512 --> 01:20:15,481
The one you took a fishing trip with.
The man who invited you to dinner.

751
01:20:15,649 --> 01:20:16,616
Ah, Gennady Petrovich...

752
01:20:16,783 --> 01:20:20,116
You’ll see him
and tell him casually

753
01:20:20,453 --> 01:20:23,115
that at eight o’clock tomorrow,
you plan to go out to Dubrovka.

754
01:20:24,090 --> 01:20:27,617
And, most importantly,
you’ll tell him, also casually,

755
01:20:28,528 --> 01:20:30,928
that the cast’s coming off your arm
the day after tomorrow.

756
01:20:32,966 --> 01:20:34,991
- Is it Guesha?
- Yes.

757
01:20:36,903 --> 01:20:38,564
Then why haven’t you...

758
01:20:38,738 --> 01:20:40,797
We didn’t want to scare off
a more important fish.

759
01:20:51,384 --> 01:20:54,353
ANNOUNCING COMRADELY TRIAL

760
01:20:54,521 --> 01:20:57,422
OF THE DEBAUCHER AND
DRUNKARD S.S. GORBUNKOV

761
01:20:58,892 --> 01:21:02,760
- You sing beautifully!
- Oh, come on...

762
01:21:03,496 --> 01:21:06,954
Have you known citizen Gorbunkov
for long?

763
01:21:07,133 --> 01:21:08,896
Yes, ten years, sorry to say.

764
01:21:09,069 --> 01:21:13,768
So for ten years he hit the bottle,
debauched and led an immoral life?

765
01:21:13,940 --> 01:21:17,467
For ten years he has very cleverly
masked himself

766
01:21:17,644 --> 01:21:19,908
as a decent person.
I didn’t trust him, though.

767
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:22,048
Don’t you think we must always
trust people?

768
01:21:22,382 --> 01:21:25,351
I don’t think
you can ever trust a man

769
01:21:25,518 --> 01:21:26,780
except in the most extreme cases.

770
01:21:26,953 --> 01:21:28,420
- That’s really your opinion?
- Yes.

771
01:21:29,522 --> 01:21:32,355
Listen... who are you anyway?

772
01:21:33,593 --> 01:21:36,790
I work with him.
Say, he’s a colleague.

773
01:21:37,664 --> 01:21:39,859
I see. Booze partner.

774
01:21:44,037 --> 01:21:45,129
You get out of here!

775
01:21:46,039 --> 01:21:49,065
As you say among yourselves,
back to your cage!

776
01:21:49,409 --> 01:21:52,867
All right, but just one question.
Did you use good glue to put it up?

777
01:21:53,413 --> 01:21:55,506
Don’t worry, lush,
you can’t rip it off!

778
01:21:55,682 --> 01:21:56,740
Now take it off, please.

779
01:21:58,051 --> 01:22:00,451
Chief, we’re done for.

780
01:22:01,354 --> 01:22:03,379
The cast is going to be removed,
the customer’s leaving...

781
01:22:04,691 --> 01:22:06,386
I’ll kill him! .

782
01:22:15,635 --> 01:22:18,900
Where are you going
so early in the morning?

783
01:22:19,439 --> 01:22:20,667
To see my family at Dubrovka.

784
01:22:23,576 --> 01:22:25,567
Did you call for a taxi
to go to Dubrovka?

785
01:22:25,945 --> 01:22:26,912
Yes, I did.

786
01:22:28,448 --> 01:22:29,574
Get in.

787
01:22:31,451 --> 01:22:32,975
- Goodbye.
- Have a nice trip.

788
01:22:51,905 --> 01:22:53,634
Why didn’t Mikhail Ivanovich
come?

789
01:22:55,608 --> 01:22:56,734
And Volodya?

790
01:22:58,111 --> 01:22:59,373
Are they busy?

791
01:23:01,981 --> 01:23:04,449
- What is your rank?
- What rank?

792
01:23:04,617 --> 01:23:06,949
Are you like Volodya,
a lieutenant in the police?

793
01:23:09,756 --> 01:23:13,419
A lieutenant... First Lieutenant...

794
01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:18,757
May l, to impress my wife,
call you that?

795
01:23:19,065 --> 01:23:20,498
Comrade First Lieutenant?

796
01:23:21,434 --> 01:23:24,597
- Is it all right if I do?
- Yeah, sure.

797
01:23:24,804 --> 01:23:27,773
And please be sure to tell her

798
01:23:27,941 --> 01:23:31,900
that you put me on a special mission
that evening at the hotel.

799
01:23:32,779 --> 01:23:36,476
And for her not to get worried,
just keep quiet

800
01:23:36,816 --> 01:23:40,547
about smugglers,
diamonds and gold.

801
01:23:42,755 --> 01:23:44,848
Keep quiet? It can’t be done.

802
01:23:45,792 --> 01:23:49,990
I have to consult about it
with the chief... with those above me.

803
01:23:50,163 --> 01:23:53,132
- With Mikhail Ivanovich?
- Yes, with Mikhail Ivanovich.

804
01:23:56,102 --> 01:23:57,569
Give him my best regards.

805
01:23:58,972 --> 01:24:02,066
Hello? Chief? It’s me...

806
01:24:02,509 --> 01:24:05,808
Chief, this is me, Lyolik!

807
01:24:07,847 --> 01:24:10,315
He took off for Dubrovka
twenty minutes ago.

808
01:24:10,550 --> 01:24:15,385
In a taxi. It was a beige ‘Volga’.
The number was 28-70 OGO.

809
01:24:17,357 --> 01:24:19,655
Roger. I got it.

810
01:24:20,560 --> 01:24:22,391
Guesha is nineteen kilometers out.

811
01:24:23,062 --> 01:24:26,361
To hell with him anyhow. Roger.

812
01:24:26,733 --> 01:24:28,758
We’re going by a new operational
plan,

813
01:24:28,935 --> 01:24:31,096
keeping a low profile.

814
01:24:41,481 --> 01:24:44,450
Mikhail Ivanovich sends his regards.

815
01:24:45,952 --> 01:24:48,785
Everything’s going to be all right,
and even better.

816
01:24:48,955 --> 01:24:53,415
Your old lady will get you fit as
a fiddle, without a cast.

817
01:24:53,593 --> 01:24:56,255
Mikhail Ivanovich has ordered
the cast removed today.

818
01:24:57,530 --> 01:24:59,259
- You’ve caught him?
- You bet we have.

819
01:24:59,432 --> 01:25:00,831
- And who is it?
- Some dimwit.

820
01:25:06,339 --> 01:25:09,365
Why go back to your place?
No point in wasting time.

821
01:25:09,542 --> 01:25:12,067
We’ve got a spot by the road
where we can knock the cast off.

822
01:25:12,612 --> 01:25:15,012
To quote our dear chief...
Mikhail Ivanovich,

823
01:25:15,348 --> 01:25:17,714
you’ve got to strike the iron
when you’re close to the swag.

824
01:25:20,353 --> 01:25:24,517
We’re going to reduce it to shreds
and get at every stone and coin in it.

825
01:25:24,857 --> 01:25:28,623
Could you please take inventory
and make a list of everything?

826
01:25:28,795 --> 01:25:30,319
Sure, we’re going to do it all legal,

827
01:25:30,496 --> 01:25:33,761
with receipts and everything.
We’ll even take your finger prints.

828
01:26:19,412 --> 01:26:21,812
Our operation will take at most
about fifteen minutes.

829
01:26:21,981 --> 01:26:27,510
Soften down the plaster
while I pick all the stuff up.

830
01:26:28,488 --> 01:26:29,455
Lots of work.

831
01:26:29,622 --> 01:26:31,590
Gee, you’ve got everything it takes,
haven’t you?

832
01:26:31,758 --> 01:26:33,521
We’ve got to scarper.

833
01:26:33,693 --> 01:26:39,654
The chief just gave me the order
to find another pad.

834
01:26:40,566 --> 01:26:41,533
So we move out of here.

835
01:26:45,872 --> 01:26:47,863
Your mustache... one side has come off.

836
01:26:49,008 --> 01:26:49,975
Thanks.

837
01:26:50,943 --> 01:26:51,910
Hands up!

838
01:28:01,881 --> 01:28:05,044
Copter Seven, what do you see
on the road? Will you report?

839
01:28:05,485 --> 01:28:08,852
All I see is a milk truck

840
01:28:09,021 --> 01:28:11,353
going towards town.

841
01:28:11,824 --> 01:28:15,783
No sign of any taxi.
Am keeping on observing.

842
01:28:37,550 --> 01:28:39,575
End of Part One

843
01:28:39,752 --> 01:28:41,811
MOSFILM

844
01:28:41,988 --> 01:28:47,324
THE DIAMOND ARM

845
01:28:47,527 --> 01:28:50,496
A screen novel in two parts
from the life of smugglers,

846
01:28:50,663 --> 01:28:52,028
with prologue and epilogue.

847
01:28:52,365 --> 01:28:53,593
Synopsis of Part One.

848
01:28:58,805 --> 01:28:59,772
Part Two

849
01:28:59,939 --> 01:29:01,998
THE BONY LEG

850
01:30:00,500 --> 01:30:03,765
No beige taxi
ever entered Dubrovka.

851
01:30:03,936 --> 01:30:05,597
Will you inspect Quadrangle 45!

852
01:30:13,145 --> 01:30:14,339
Stop!

853
01:30:15,948 --> 01:30:18,314
Stop! Wait!

854
01:30:24,891 --> 01:30:27,621
- Could you take me to town please?
- What’s up?

855
01:30:28,594 --> 01:30:31,062
It’s a top secret affair of State!

856
01:30:31,397 --> 01:30:35,424
- All right, climb in.
- You’ve got to hurry!

857
01:30:35,601 --> 01:30:36,932
I’m just learning to drive,
don’t you see?

858
01:30:37,103 --> 01:30:38,070
We’re short of time!

859
01:30:38,404 --> 01:30:42,067
Time is money.
When you see money, don’t lose time.

860
01:30:42,742 --> 01:30:44,710
We must strike the iron
when we’re close to the swag.

861
01:30:46,846 --> 01:30:48,711
Hands up!

862
01:30:49,415 --> 01:30:51,007
Both of you! Or this thing
will go off!

863
01:31:07,366 --> 01:31:09,391
They did it all for nothing.
There’re no diamonds in there.

864
01:31:09,569 --> 01:31:10,536
There’re not?

865
01:31:10,703 --> 01:31:13,672
Who ever told you
they were in the plaster?

866
01:31:13,839 --> 01:31:16,399
That man with the false mustache
figured the same thing.

867
01:31:16,642 --> 01:31:18,735
The police took them long ago, chief.

868
01:31:19,579 --> 01:31:22,480
Hey, hold it! Stop, you morons!

869
01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:27,542
To quote an old friend of mine
who’s now buried,

870
01:31:28,020 --> 01:31:29,988
‘I knew too much.’

871
01:31:32,391 --> 01:31:34,416
Seven calling Five and reporting

872
01:31:35,494 --> 01:31:37,553
that a cherry-colored ‘Moskvitch’
has been spotted

873
01:31:37,897 --> 01:31:39,728
on the forest road

874
01:31:39,899 --> 01:31:42,367
speeding toward
the national border.

875
01:31:45,538 --> 01:31:48,871
Seven, listen to my orders!

876
01:32:19,505 --> 01:32:20,529
Mama!

877
01:32:20,706 --> 01:32:22,401
Lyolik, stop it!

878
01:32:23,643 --> 01:32:27,773
Easy, Kozlodoyev, there’ll be room
for all of us in the can!

879
01:33:19,732 --> 01:33:23,463
NINA GREBESHKOVA

880
01:33:23,636 --> 01:33:26,730
STANISLAV CHEKAN

881
01:33:41,554 --> 01:33:44,648
VLADIMIR GULYAEV

882
01:33:46,859 --> 01:33:49,657
ANDREl MIRONOV

883
01:33:51,764 --> 01:33:55,131
ANATOLY PAPANOV

884
01:33:56,535 --> 01:33:59,026
SVETLANA SVETLICHNAYA

885
01:34:01,340 --> 01:34:05,640
NONNA MORDYUKOVA

886
01:34:05,878 --> 01:34:10,372
YURI NIKULIN

887
01:34:10,549 --> 01:34:13,814
The End

1
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,280
MOSFILM

2
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,680
The "Luch" Artistic Association

3
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,640
THE DIAMOND ARM

4
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,040
A screen novel in two parts

5
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,040
from the life of smugglers,
with prologue and epilogue.

6
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,680
Screenplay by

7
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,080
M. SLOBODSKY
Ya. KISTYUKOVSKY, L. GAIDAI

8
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,320
Directed by
Leonid GAIDAI

9
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,240
Photographed in the air, on the earth,
on the water and underwater

10
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,760
by Director of Photography
Igor CHERNYKH

11
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,440
Production Designer
F. YASYUKEVICH

12
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,960
Music by A. ZATSEPIN

13
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,080
Sound by Ye. INDLINA
Conductor - E. KHACHATURIAN

14
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:03,720
Lyrics by L. DERBENYOV

15
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,120
English Subtitles by
T. KAMENEVA

16
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,120
The Studio wishes to thank
the organizations and persons

17
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,240
that had provided for the shooting

18
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,960
real diamonds and gold.

19
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,200
This film has been photographed
by a half-hidden camera.

20
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,880
THE DIAMOND ARM

21
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,320
Starring

22
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,760
Nina GREBESHKOVA

23
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,920
Nonna MORDYUKOVA
Svetlana SVETLICHNAYA

24
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,440
Anatoly PAPANOV
Andrei MIRONOV

25
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,800
Stanislav CHEKAN
Vladimir GULYAEV

26
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,200
Also starring

27
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,040
Ye. MELNIKOVA
A. FAIT, N. ROMANOV

28
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,560
G. SHPIGEL, L. KANEVSKY

29
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,000
And also...

30
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,040
V. OSTROVSKAYA, S. KHOLINA
T. NIKULINA, R. FILIPPOV

31
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,240
N. TROFIMOV, A. YACHNITSKY
L. POLYAKOV, G. KACHIN

32
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,040
Besides,

33
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,640
A. KHVYLYA, G. SVETLANI
A. KOZUBSKY, V. KUPRIYANOV

34
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,920
I. VASSILENKO
I. ZHEVAGO, V. URALSKY

35
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,520
And with

36
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,000
Sasha LISYUTINA
Mitya NIKOLAYEV

37
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,560
And at last...

38
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,480
With the participation of

39
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,200
YURI NIKULIN

40
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,040
Part One

41
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,080
THE DIAMOND IS ALMOST INVISIBLE

42
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,800
We bring you a live broadcast
from our sea port.

43
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,280
This snow-white liner
is to depart on its next cruise,

44
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,960
carrying a large contingent
of Soviet tourists

45
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,960
on a very fascinating voyage.

46
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,960
- Hello!
- Hello.

47
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,040
What is your name, please?

48
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,640
Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

49
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,080
- And what's your occupation?
- Senior bookkeeper.

50
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:08,800
Is there something you would like
to say to our dear listeners

51
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,320
before leaving
for this fascinating journey?

52
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,320
As a matter of fact,
I didn't want to go.

53
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,040
I was about to buy my wife
a fur coat.

54
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,200
The fur coat can wait.
It's more important to see the world.

55
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,200
He works day and night...
The fur coat can wait.

56
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,880
So you've never before...

57
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,240
No. We never travelled farther
than Dubrovka.

58
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,280
Is it your first trip abroad, too?

59
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,480
- I'm not going.
- We've come to say goodbye to dad.

60
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,120
Fish Street. That's an important
street there. The Chikanuk pharmacy.

61
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,640
Lyolik, I remember it all.

62
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,560
Everything you do must look very
real. You fall down and swear...

63
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,800
"Damned apple!"
No... "Damned melon!"

64
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,800
Keep that in mind!

65
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,480
The injury...
Everything should be true to life.

66
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,960
As our chief says, "The most important
thing in our business is realism."

67
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:07,080
Happy landings, tourist!

68
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,880
No, don't...
Just go!

69
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,640
- Good morning!
- Good morning!

70
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,920
- Is this Cabin 16?
- Yes, it's 16.

71
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,360
Are you bunking here, too?

72
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,400
Yes. I'm Gennady Petrovich Kozodoyev.

73
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,240
Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

74
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,000
- I hope we'll become friends.
- Oh, I think so.

75
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,160
- Are you bringing along souvenirs?
- No.

76
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,160
- I have some here...
- Vodka?

77
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,280
MIKHAIL SVETLOV

78
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,720
Day Seven
of this fascinating cruise...

79
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,760
I love the song
about hares.

80
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,280
Senya, it's not topical,
about hares!

81
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,920
"Island of Bad Luck"!

82
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,120
All covered with greenery,
Absolutely, stark,

83
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,920
Lies in our itinerary
An island of bad luck.

84
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,400
There live the savages,
Poor, wretched guys,

85
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,520
Faces bear ravages,
But kind under disguise.

86
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,000
Whatever they're doing,
It never goes right.

87
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,920
They must be born to ruin
On a very black Friday night.

88
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,560
Crocodiles not caught,
Coconuts won't grow.

89
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,240
They weep and pray to God
For days and days in a row.

90
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,120
They are no idlers,
They could have had a ball.

91
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,120
They ought to cancel Fridays
Once and for all.

92
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,600
But, alas, no calendar
On the isle, there's not!

93
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,520
Every living islander
Just goes for a naught.

94
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,200
But, alas, no calendar
On damn isle, there's not!

95
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,160
That's why poor savages,
From early morn till night,

96
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,160
Counting their damages,
Lament over their plight.

97
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,960
The poor devils moan,
Cursing their fate.

98
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,960
What year is unknown,
As is unknown the date.

99
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,120
...Finally, here is the last
port of call

100
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,480
before returning
to their motherland...

101
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:30,360
Ladies and gentlemen, we're now
in what is called the old town.

102
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:35,440
During the rule of the great
Emperor Shumunshin-Shah the Third,

103
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:40,120
on these heights,
the lmperial architects had built

104
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,000
a marvelous ensemble,

105
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,880
which included a palace, a mosque,

106
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,280
a 1 ,200-bed harem,
and many other... similar delights.

107
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,960
Have you gone crazy?

108
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,720
Something's wrong.
She wants me to go and see.

109
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,840
Hey, no, no, impossible!

110
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,280
- What does she want?
- I'II tell you later.

111
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,920
Lady, Senora, Frau, Miss,
it's out of the question.

112
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:23,600
Russo turista, capito, moralita!
Verstehen? That's it!

113
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,120
But what does she want?

114
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:36,520
We are most grateful to you. It was
a very interesting excursion.

115
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,280
Attention, please!
Now everyone will be on his own.

116
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,280
You can walk around the town.

117
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:56,680
But at five o'clock sharp,
everyone must be back on board.

118
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,280
See you later.

119
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,920
Guesha! Why are you leaving me
in the lurch?

120
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,760
I didn't leave you. I was waiting.

121
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,040
Let's go this way.

122
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,960
Where's he?

123
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,440
Don't worry,
he'II come.

124
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,280
- The password is "Damned melon"?
- Damned melon.

125
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,040
Are you sure he's on the SS
"Mikhail Svetlov"?

126
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,720
We were assured that he was.

127
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,760
The ship is leaving in an hour!

128
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,560
Shut up!

129
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,840
Sorry, I guess I Iost my temper.

130
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,360
You know...

131
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,760
Guesha!

132
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,720
Excuse me, Miss...

133
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,320
Damned melon!

134
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,600
Damned melon!

135
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,120
- Russo?
- Yes.

136
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,840
- "Mikhail Svetlov"?
- Yes, yes.

137
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,840
Damned melon.
Damned melon...

138
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,480
What's wrong with him?

139
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,520
It's a very bad sprain.
He's even lost consciousness.

140
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,640
Let's get down to work.

141
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,360
Damned melon!..

142
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,360
"Mikhail Svetlov"...

143
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,520
Damned melon!

144
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,120
Damned melon!

145
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,760
Russo?
"Mikhail Svetlov"?

146
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,240
Why didn't you use your brains?

147
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,480
But the other one gave the password
too. "Damned melon".

148
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,240
There follows an untranslatable play
on words

149
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,560
with the use of local idiomatic
expressions.

150
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,400
Comrades, it's time!
The ship leaves in half an hour!

151
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,240
Those idiots claimed
he was unconscious.

152
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,240
So the poor fool has no idea
what's going on.

153
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,680
That's perfect!

154
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,800
What's this?

155
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,800
Nothing. Just contraband items
someone's trying to smuggle in.

156
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,240
Don't worry.
Calm down... Drink some of this.

157
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,080
I never touch the stuff.

158
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,000
Haven't you read about it in "House
and Home"? Doctors recommend it.

159
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,480
It will calm your nervous system
and soothe your arteries.

160
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,200
Drink up.

161
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,200
Captain,
what do I do now?

162
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,800
Nothing.
Just have fun and relax.

163
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,000
But don't breathe a word to anyone
about that contraband stuff.

164
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,160
And if someone wants to know
what happened to my arm?

165
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:44,160
Say you slipped, fell down
and got a closed fracture.

166
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,400
You were knocked out, and when you
came to, it was already in a cast.

167
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,160
I slipped, fell down,
a closed fracture.

168
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,120
I was knocked out,
I came to - a plaster cast.

169
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,800
And don't worry,
I'll notify everyone concerned.

170
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,520
Thank you very much.

171
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,480
Don't you remember a thing?

172
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,400
Be careful!

173
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,440
- Why? I remember very well.
- You remember what?

174
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,000
I slipped...
got knocked out.

175
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,800
When I came to, I had this cast.
That's all!

176
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,360
- I wish I fell instead of you.
- Thanks. That's nice of you, Guesha.

177
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,480
Please, take care of your arm, Senya.

178
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,000
Nadia is going to be upset.

179
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,240
"That's c'est la vie,"
as Frenchmen say.

180
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,080
I'm sorry, friend!

181
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,560
Are you finished? Must I go already?

182
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,480
Yes, move along, you're in the way.

183
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,000
- You're through with me?
- That's right.

184
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,400
Could it be that the Captain didn't
notify the customs? What do I do now?

185
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,200
There he is! The stuff is safe.
As safe as in a safe.

186
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,720
And the key?

187
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,200
To quote our chief's immortal words,
"Once a halfwit always a halfwit."

188
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,000
- I don't get it.
- You'II get it. Let's go to the chief!

189
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,160
Hands off me!

190
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,240
- Where are we going?
- Home.

191
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,880
So you had a look at some foreign
ports?

192
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,280
Yes, foreign ports.

193
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,280
Where should I go?
To the police? Or home?

194
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,800
This is the way home.

195
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,720
I didn't give him my address.
Where's he taking me?

196
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,320
There's just one road here
that goes into the city.

197
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,080
I want to go to Morskaya Street,
number 21 , apartment 9.

198
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,240
entrance three, third floor.

199
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,160
What's wrong with your arm?

200
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:04,000
Why is he interested in my arm?
He looks suspicious.

201
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,040
I slipped, fell down, got knocked out,
came to already in a cast.

202
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,320
Excuse me, you're an amateur actor,
aren't you?

203
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:12,800
Yes, that's right.

204
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,800
Why did I Iie to him?
Why did he ask me?

205
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,320
He's trying to get information from
me. He looks more and more suspicious.

206
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,040
Why did he turn there?
He should have kept going straight.

207
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,000
The highway's blocked for repairs.
We should make a detour.

208
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,720
- Stop! Let's give them a lift!
- I can't. It's against regulations.

209
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,400
He didn't pick up those girls.
He's not a taxi driver. He's a bandit.

210
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,560
Why did you wait to tell him
who you were?

211
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,480
I wanted to check
if he's really fit for the job.

212
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,560
Did he prove it?

213
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,400
He proved it, Colonel.
He's perfect!

214
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,120
I never dreamed that he'd...

215
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,440
Hit you with the cast?

216
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,880
Yes, sir!
I probably should have...

217
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,320
No sense in it.
Does he agree?

218
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,000
He agrees.
But still, I think we might...

219
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,440
No sense in it.

220
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,880
- May I suggest...
- You may not!

221
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,440
- Maybe you'll let me...
- Yes, do that.

222
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,560
This operation is your baby.
Act as you see right.

223
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,000
Now go on with your report.

224
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:17,320
Yes, sir. When we became better
acquainted, I outlined our plan...

225
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,240
What do I do now?

226
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,400
Nothing. Live as usual.
They're going to bite the bait.

227
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,880
They'll be watching you,
we'll be watching them.

228
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,800
As soon as they try to get the cast,
we'll close the trap.

229
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,160
Like I'm the live bait.
I know, I'm a fisherman myself.

230
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,640
They might offer to pay a ransom,
but I can bargain too.

231
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:39,080
I don't think so. They're convinced
you don't know a thing.

232
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,640
They'll want their goods back, without
paying and without your noticing.

233
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,720
How can they take a plaster cast off
without my noticing?

234
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:52,240
I'm not sure how they'll try to do it,
but they can get you drunk,

235
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,560
drug you or knock you out.

236
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,080
It's no problem to do it on someone
who's knocked out or even dead.

237
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,560
Who's dead?

238
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,040
But I don't really think
it'll go that far.

239
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,840
Couldn't you let someone else

240
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,800
wear this plaster cast
for a little while?

241
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:14,880
Well, you can always say no.

242
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,000
No, I'm no coward,
I'm just afraid.

243
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,440
Afraid I won't be able to do it.

244
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,200
Every man can do many things,

245
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,560
but, sadly enough,
not everyone is aware of it.

246
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,800
That's right, it happens so often.

247
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,640
Let's set up the liaison.

248
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,480
Now what are you doing,
Semyon Semyonovich?

249
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,720
How are we going to organize it?
In case we must speak to you...

250
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,200
Come to my place.

251
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,640
And when you must speak to us...

252
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,160
I'll call a taxi and give my name.

253
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,480
Then I'll come, or maybe my assistant.
Everything clear?

254
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,200
Thanks very, very much.
And I'm sorry I was so...

255
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,720
Forget it, we've seen much worse.

256
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,800
Won't you come up
and meet my wife?

257
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:18,480
We've already agreed,
nobody must know about this.

258
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,040
- Not even Nadia?
- No one.

259
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,560
I understand.

260
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,000
Semyon Semyonovich!
Your bags...

261
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,040
Senya, the door.

262
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,240
Welcome back, Semyon Semyonovich!

263
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,160
Sorry that I'm so late.

264
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,400
But my social work comes first.

265
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,600
What's wrong with your arm?

266
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,360
On Wednesday you're giving a lecture.

267
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,080
We've put up the posters.

268
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,400
You're the only one from our
community who has ever been there.

269
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,920
The subject is
"New York, City of Contrasts".

270
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,000
I haven't been to New York,
I've been to Istanbul.

271
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,160
"Istanbul, City of Contrasts".
What difference does it make?

272
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,680
But what about your arm?

273
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,760
A closed fracture. I was knocked out.
When I came to, I had this cast on.

274
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,320
So unpretentious, but in good taste.

275
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,520
That's really nice!

276
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,680
Oh yes, so what's it about your arm?

277
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,840
That's for you. A souvenir.

278
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,160
Thank you, Semyon Semyonovich!

279
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,240
Just press the button.

280
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,920
- Isn't it funny?
- Very funny.

281
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:00,640
Thanks.

282
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,520
Did you see Sophia Loren?

283
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,120
Did you drink Coca-Cola?

284
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,120
How does it taste?

285
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,320
Go to sleep.

286
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,080
Doctors recommend it.
It'll help me sleep.

287
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,160
I read it
in the "House and Home" magazine.

288
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,240
Tell me exactly
what did you do to your arm?

289
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,320
I slipped, I fell down,
and got a closed fracture.

290
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,320
I knocked myself out,
when I came to I had this cast on.

291
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:44,160
I heard all that already. Please tell me
the truth, horrible as it may be.

292
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,240
I walked in the street and I slipped...

293
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,520
You never knew how to lie, did you?

294
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:57,920
I know what happened.

295
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:00,600
Who told you?

296
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,400
I'm sure it's not a closed fracture.

297
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,120
What have you got there?

298
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,320
Gold and diamonds.

299
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,680
Stop kidding!

300
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:21,400
You haven't got a closed fracture.
You got a compound fracture!

301
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,640
Let's go to bed now.

302
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,320
You should be killed for that!

303
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,560
Please don't beat me!
I'll fix everything!

304
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,320
I want to see you dead!

305
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,320
I want to see you in your grave,
with a shroud around you!

306
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:36,520
I want to see you living only
on your salary!

307
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:46,320
Victor, can't you read?

308
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,000
"Dogs walking not allowed!"

309
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,000
Mommy, look!

310
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,520
Oh, get down from there!

311
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,320
Our lawns aren't made to walk on!

312
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,760
- Then what are they made for?
- Their aesthetic beauty!

313
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,400
Then where can I walk him?

314
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,680
You can walk him in your flat!

315
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:10,680
What is this?
Good morning!

316
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,000
I've been to London.
There, dogs walk anywhere they want.

317
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,200
Dog is man's best friend.

318
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:24,520
It may be in London
that dog is man's best friend,

319
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:28,160
but here, man's best friend
is the superintendent.

320
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,800
Treasure handed to government

321
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:01,480
Old man!

322
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,760
Have you got a light?

323
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,680
- What? You deaf and dumb?
- Right!

324
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,720
I thought so...

325
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,840
There he is!

326
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,040
He's an idiot.

327
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,840
There's no problem.
We'll trap him! It'll be easy.

328
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:39,000
Invite him to go fishing
at the Black Stones.

329
00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:42,440
Like we agreed.
And arrange to spend the night there.

330
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,360
Only do things right.

331
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,000
Like give flowers to his old lady,
and ice-cream to both brats.

332
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,080
If only you can remember all that,
Lord Nelson!

333
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,920
You lamebrain! The ice-cream's
for the brats!

334
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,360
Oh, my eye? It's nothing,
it's getting better.

335
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:31,080
Senya, how's your arm?
No pain?

336
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,680
Can you move your fingers?
No, no, the other arm.

337
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,520
Good, you'll be okay.

338
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,680
You're his friend.
Please, use your influence.

339
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,000
He doesn't take his arm seriously.

340
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,920
You know what's wrong with daddy's
arm? It's not what he tells everybody.

341
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:53,000
And what is it?

342
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,520
He's got a compound fracture,
not a closed one.

343
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,080
Now go to your mama.

344
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,680
Senya, let's go trout fishing with me.

345
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,080
To the Black Stones. We'll rent
a boat and spend the night there, huh?

346
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:22,000
No, not for the night.
My arm might catch cold.

347
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:27,360
- Let's go in the morning.
- Anything you say.

348
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,000
- So, at the crack of dawn then?
- Right!

349
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,240
What are you doing?!

350
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,840
Put down the gun
and apologize this very minute!

351
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,600
Such a charming child!

352
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,920
Our fashions were created by

353
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,800
designer Margarita Semyonova,

354
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,000
architect Rogal Levitskaya,

355
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:59,720
chief designer
Albert Mudrik.

356
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:05,280
Here is our summer combination
outfit "Universal-69",

357
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,000
which earned a prize of encouragement

358
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:09,920
at the regional modern garment forum
in Zhitomir.

359
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,480
The original feature of this model

360
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:18,520
being that you can very easily
change the coat into a jacket.

361
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,280
But that's not all!

362
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,280
With just a twist of your wrist,

363
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,640
your trousers are changed...

364
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,640
your trousers are changed...

365
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,760
the trousers are changed...

366
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,160
to elegantly looking shorts.

367
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,080
You will forgive us the delay
due to a technical incident.

368
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,280
And finally, we present our latest
model,

369
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,360
a beach ensemble

370
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,920
"Mini-bikini-69".

371
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,520
Why is the chief here?

372
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,680
The plan's been changed. You'll pull
off the operation at White Rock.

373
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,520
- Why?
- Not such a big crowd there.

374
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,840
They don't bite at White Rock!

375
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,920
They'll bite so well that our customer
will forget about everything.

376
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,840
Is all the rest according to the plan?

377
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,600
Everything's the same otherwise.
You'll knock him out a little...

378
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,440
You know, that's not artistic.

379
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,520
But it's cheap and very practical.

380
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:42,840
Chip off the plaster and we split.

381
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,320
What about my alibi?

382
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:49,400
Try and get marks of violence
on your face.

383
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,240
But I'm begging you to...

384
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,280
Don't you worry, Kozlodoyev.

385
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:54,880
Kozodoyev!

386
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:56,840
Kozlodoyev!

387
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,600
I'll bash you real carefully,
but hard.

388
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,000
Good evening.

389
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:06,160
Where are you going so late at night?

390
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,560
I'm going fishing early in the morning,
and I forgot to go to the baker's.

391
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,760
There's one open
at the other end of town.

392
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:45,960
Poor guy!

393
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:50,280
To think that it should've been me.

394
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,920
Get drunk and it'll be you.

395
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,120
Let's load him on.

396
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,600
Good evening, Semyon Semyonovich!

397
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,440
But I don't know you.

398
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,840
- Call me Volodya.
- Senya.

399
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,840
I bring you greetings from
Mikhail Ivanovich.

400
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,600
He wants to see you urgently.

401
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,080
- When?
- Why not now?

402
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,240
Then I'll be late to buy bread.

403
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,200
Don't worry, I've got my car.

404
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,000
Well, thanks very much, Volodya.
Good night.

405
00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:39,560
I wish you a good fishing trip.

406
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,000
You're sure you'll be going
to the Black Stones?

407
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,520
Yes.

408
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:48,400
Good night then!

409
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:56,160
Our tenants don't go to the baker's
in a taxi.

410
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,000
I guess this is it.
Or maybe...

411
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,080
We shouldn't have come here.
The fish bite better at Black Stones.

412
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:39,400
They're going to bite so well here
that you'll forget about everything.

413
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,640
Help!

414
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,640
Help me!

415
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:04,880
SOS!

416
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:20,120
Lyolik!

417
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,200
Idiot!

418
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,000
Mama! I'm going to die!

419
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,480
Lyolik!

420
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,920
Help!

421
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,840
Mama!

422
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,000
- Why are you yelling like that?
- Don't interfere, boy!

423
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:54,080
Let's pray to our Lord...

424
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,360
Get out of my way, milksop!
Get out of here!

425
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,440
There go ducks flying...

426
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:16,760
As well as two geese...

427
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,360
The chief's giving us a big chance
to make it up to him.

428
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,200
The place for this new operation
under the code name " wild duck"...

429
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,240
will be a restaurant called
"The Weeping Willow Tree".

430
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:38,600
Straight north of the building,
about a hundred yards off,

431
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:43,160
there're toilettes of a john kind...

432
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,520
which are designated on the map
by the letters "M" and "W".

433
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,440
The path leading to the toilettes
goes by a spruce tree,

434
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,760
where I will be.

435
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,520
That'll be our stationing.

436
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,840
Your mission is to invite the customer
to the restaurant for dinner,

437
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,600
then bring him to the right condition
until he wants... to wash up.

438
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,000
After you show him the way,

439
00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:19,400
you immediately regain
your original position.

440
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,440
You've got an alibi
no one will challenge,

441
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:25,080
while our customer, passing by the
spruce tree, gets into my hands.

442
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,200
Everything that follows is just
a matter of expertise.

443
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,520
But how am I going to bring him to
the right condition? He doesn't drink.

444
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,080
To quote our chief,
"When there's a sucker who pays

445
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:38,280
you'll see teetotalers drink,
including those who have ulcers."

446
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,680
With just a salary to live on,
you can't take taxis!

447
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,600
Give me a hundred tickets.

448
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:01,520
If you buy them, just imagine,
you can win...

449
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:02,960
A fire engine!

450
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:08,360
Stop your advertising. I'm not buying
tickets to win.

451
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,440
Peddle these tickets
to our tenants.

452
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,280
If they won't buy,
I'll cut off their gas.

453
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:20,360
Is everything perfectly clear?

454
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,600
Hang around all the markets,

455
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,840
and the free exchange stores.
Be seen in the restaurants.

456
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,080
Let people see you as much as you can.

457
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,600
Here, for your expenses.

458
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,080
No, no, I wouldn't think of it!

459
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:41,680
Please, no initiative.
Take it, it's five hundred rubles.

460
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,680
In the new denomination?

461
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,040
- Something wrong with your head?
- I hid the cash.

462
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,320
- Come on, Semyon Semyonovich...
- I got it.

463
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,600
And take this.

464
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:20,840
What's that for?

465
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,600
You can never tell.

466
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,640
I haven't had it in my hands
since the war.

467
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,680
It's not a real gun,
it's rather psychological.

468
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:40,320
You can use it to scare someone.
We loaded it with blanks.

469
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:45,200
Can't I have a real one?
You can never tell.

470
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,920
- No, you'd better not.
- I see.

471
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,640
Semyon Semyonovich,
what's the matter with you?

472
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:12,600
That's how it should be.

473
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,960
The Weeping Willow Tree Restaurant

474
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:22,200
Fedya, we'd like to have also...
a wild duck.

475
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,440
No problem.

476
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,520
- What are we going to drink?
- Beer for me, huh?

477
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:34,160
A bottle of vodka and a bottle of
cognac. And two bottles of beer.

478
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,600
Oh, I forgot to call my mother.
One second...

479
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:48,520
Good evening!
I told Fedya to bring a wild duck.

480
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:52,640
I hope you have some?

481
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,600
Lyolik, I'm waiting.

482
00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:00,680
Soon our customer will be ripe.

483
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,200
I saw the chief. He's here.

484
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,840
- Is this one taken?
- Yes, sorry.

485
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,200
That's it. Here we go again.

486
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,840
Keep calm.
And don't sit there. Act.

487
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:43,840
Excuse me, where's the telephone?

488
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:46,240
Thanks.

489
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:51,760
This is Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

490
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,440
Please send a taxi to the Weeping
Willow Restaurant.

491
00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,840
It's urgent.

492
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600
Well, shall we start?

493
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,360
No, no, I've got my beer.

494
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,600
He's watching me.
Let him see that I'm drinking.

495
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,680
- Here's to your bonus.
- And may it not be the last one.

496
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:34,840
After the first drink, one never eats.

497
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:38,080
Let's drink some vodka to your health!

498
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,120
All right.

499
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:57,640
Have a chaser.

500
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:06,680
I'll bet that if anyone of you
had found a treasure,

501
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,440
you would have done exactly
like I did.

502
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,080
What are you going to do
with your reward?

503
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,600
For the money that the state
has to pay me by law...

504
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:16,080
on my friends' advice,

505
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:19,440
I'm going to buy a Moskvitch car.

506
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:21,560
The very latest model!

507
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,200
One second.

508
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:32,600
The customer is nearly ripe.
You better get ready!

509
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,080
I'm always ready!
You idiot!

510
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,200
- What do you want?
- To see you, pal.

511
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,640
- Don't you recognize me?
- I don't think so.

512
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,520
- Let's have a drink.
- Why not?

513
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,760
I didn't recognize you right away
either.

514
00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:22,680
Why did you shave your mustache?

515
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:26,920
I said, why did you shave off
your mustache, dumbbell?

516
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:30,680
Whose mustache?

517
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:37,200
- To whom have I the honor?
- I went to school with this dumbbell.

518
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,360
Why did Volodya shave his mustache?

519
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:45,440
Senya, hurry up and tell the comrade
why Volodya shaved his mustache.

520
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,200
We've got very little time.

521
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,440
Sorry, I'm mistaken.

522
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:10,600
If you'd had a mustache, you'd be
the double of Volodya Trynkin.

523
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:15,440
- At what time does your plane leave?
- Yes, the plane...

524
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,920
If you get a chance to go to Siberia...

525
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,920
If you get a chance to go to Siberia,
you'll be very welcome.

526
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,080
Why don't you better come to see us?

527
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:26,560
See you around.

528
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,600
I'm glad he's not the smuggler.
He looks like a likable guy.

529
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:35,920
Why did I drink all that stuff?

530
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:43,360
Senya, are you in the right condition?

531
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:45,920
- What condition?
- The right one?

532
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:47,520
No!

533
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,440
- In that case, one more drink...
- No!

534
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:51,880
You must!

535
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:56,200
Senya, do you respect me?

536
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:59,680
I do, but I'm through.

537
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:04,000
- Then I'm going to bite you.
- Go ahead.

538
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:12,000
Guesha, people are staring.

539
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:18,520
- Will you drink with the duck?
- Why not?

540
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:23,080
- Fedya, the duck!
- The duck!

541
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,520
- Is that a duck?
- That's a duck!

542
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,880
They don't drink vodka with duck.

543
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:39,680
We must drink...

544
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:43,280
I get you. Fedya, champagne!

545
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:45,600
- Here's to you.
- Thanks.

546
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:50,840
Perhaps you wish to wash up a bit?

547
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:54,560
You heard what he said?
Time to wash up! Let's go.

548
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,040
- And the duck?
- It won't fly away. It's cooked.

549
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,480
Behave yourself... Hurry up!

550
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:02,640
Straight north of the place,
about a hundred yard walk.

551
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:05,600
Now what?

552
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,520
Senya!

553
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:22,760
Song about the hares!

554
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,320
In the heart of the woods

555
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:31,800
Where leaves twirl in flight,

556
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:36,240
Where age-old oaks
Loom like wizardly gods,

557
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,840
Hares mowed the grass
In a grove at midnight,

558
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:45,640
And they sang a strange song
With the following words:

559
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:51,160
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,

560
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:55,000
Though owls and wolves
Make us real wuss.

561
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,840
We've got a job to do

562
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,040
At this hour of voodoo,

563
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:03,840
We're mowing the grass,
A truly magic grass.

564
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:09,320
And the wizardly oaks
Whisper something in darkness.

565
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:13,960
By the stench-soaked bogs,
Shadows loom in the rain.

566
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,400
Hares mow their grass,
Feeling lost, feeling luckless,

567
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:23,320
And out of fright
Hasten their refrain:

568
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:28,040
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,

569
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,960
Though owls and wolves
Make us real wuss.

570
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:36,720
We've got a job to do
At this hour of voodoo,

571
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,480
We're mowing the grass,
A truly magic grass.

572
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,800
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,

573
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:48,200
We firmly believe
In the saying of the past,

574
01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:50,480
That bold'll be the one

575
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:52,440
Who thrice this has done:

576
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,120
At the hour of voodoo

577
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:55,640
Mowed magic grass.

578
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:59,400
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,

579
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,520
Bolder we'll be
Than the lion, king of beast!

580
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:06,280
We'll hold out once,
We won't screw this chance,

581
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:09,440
And no evil thing
Will ruffle us in the least!

582
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:26,800
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,

583
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,800
Bolder we'll be
Than the lion, king of beast!

584
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,280
We'll hold out once,
We won't screw this chance,

585
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:36,560
And no evil thing
Will ruffle us in the least!

586
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,760
Something has to be done.

587
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,800
We won't put up with drunkenness!

588
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:10,960
But you know very well,
Varvara Sergeyevna, that...

589
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:14,800
I know a lot more than you do,
my dear. Where did he get the money?

590
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,120
He was invited by a friend
who had gotten a bonus.

591
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,800
According to police records,
just for one bay window he broke

592
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,240
he paid ninety seven rubles
and eighteen kopecks.

593
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,400
Where did he get that kind of money?

594
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,760
Your husband has changed
since that cruise.

595
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,560
The corruptive Western influence.

596
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:35,800
Those idiotic toys.

597
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,680
And the thing he said about dogs.
"The best friend of man."

598
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:43,160
It's odd,
and this is only an understatement.

599
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:46,160
All those elements of "la dolce vita"!

600
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:50,240
I wouldn't be surprised to hear

601
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:55,800
that your husband's secretly
seeing a mistress.

602
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:57,240
What?!

603
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,680
- Is this yours?
- Mine.

604
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,560
- And where did you get it?
- You know where.

605
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:07,640
That cruise, huh?

606
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:12,560
He's been enrolled in a spy ring!

607
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:14,720
How could he do that?

608
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,080
He's so naive.

609
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,680
His arm... They tortured him!
Why didn't I think of it before?

610
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:25,120
Oh, my God!

611
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:27,840
We couldn't care less...

612
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:35,080
What am I going to do?
And what happens to the children?

613
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:37,240
Such a disgrace!

614
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:41,600
There's only one way out.

615
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:44,200
Just one way out...

616
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:48,160
Just one.

617
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:02,080
Enough!

618
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:08,360
Only aristocrats and degenerates
drink champagne in the morning.

619
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:19,960
We're going to see the chief
right now!

620
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,520
I can't go in my condition.

621
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:30,880
I need to take a bath at least,

622
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,240
and a cup of coffee.

623
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:36,720
You'll get your bath all right there,
and coffee, too.

624
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:40,160
Even some cocoa with tea!
Let's go!

625
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:46,320
Let's go, Guesha.

626
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,040
Nadia! Nadia, honey!

627
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:12,440
Senya, calm down.

628
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:15,600
There's a way out.

629
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:19,280
You must go to the police
and tell them everything.

630
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:21,840
- About what?
- Your treason.

631
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:28,560
SHAME ON THE DRUNKARD AND
DEBAUCHER S.S. GORBUNKOV!

632
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,080
How could you possibly imagine that?

633
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,160
You, my wife,
mother of my children!

634
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:43,160
Oh no! Not that!

635
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,320
How else could I possibly explain it?

636
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,480
You could imagine anything,
but not that!

637
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,880
Oh, this is the end!

638
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,920
Where did you get that gun
and that money?

639
01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:55,600
Shut up, you wretched soul!
Shut up!

640
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:02,760
Senya, tell me, where did you get
that pistol and that money?

641
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:06,880
I beg you, please tell me!

642
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,680
All right, I will tell you.
But don't say a word to anyone!

643
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:12,120
I swear.

644
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:16,760
It's a state secret.

645
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:21,240
That money and that gun were given me
to help me with my mission.

646
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:24,840
- What mission?
- Sorry, I can't tell you that.

647
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,400
When the time comes,
you'll know everything.

648
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:32,480
You might even... get a reward...

649
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:37,520
After I'm gone!

650
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:42,680
That's a marvelous plan, chief!

651
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:46,680
At twelve o'clock it will be ready
to roll.

652
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:48,880
A genius!

653
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:07,720
Good morning.

654
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,880
- Good morning.
- Bon jour, Madame.

655
01:08:18,440 --> 01:08:21,160
I'm enchanted to welcome you
in this modest, but rather cozy...

656
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,320
Salut, wonder boy!

657
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:27,840
The chief sent me.

658
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,600
Everything is ready.

659
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:34,720
- The papers?
- The passport is right here.

660
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,000
- Which joint?
- Hotel Atlantic.

661
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:41,240
A nice double room, all prepaid.

662
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:48,400
- The guy?
- Front view. Profile.

663
01:08:52,480 --> 01:08:53,760
The fee?

664
01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:58,240
An advance, for starters.

665
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:08,560
One pill will be enough.

666
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:18,240
Excuse me, haven't you got the same
thing, but without the wings?

667
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:19,640
No, sorry, we haven't.

668
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:21,440
Well, I'll look around.

669
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,320
Haven't you got something like this,
but with mother-of-pearl buttons?

670
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:31,840
No, sorry, we haven't any.

671
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:33,840
Well, I'll have a look around.

672
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,600
- Who, me?
- Yes.

673
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:56,000
Excuse me.
I overheard you...

674
01:09:56,240 --> 01:10:01,240
I've got what you're looking for,
with the mother-of-pearl buttons.

675
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,440
Only it's in my suitcase at the hotel.

676
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,440
- Do you need it badly?
- Yes.

677
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:07,320
Then I'll give you my address.

678
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,440
Hotel Atlantic.
It's not far from here.

679
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:20,840
Will nine o'clock be convenient
for you?

680
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:22,480
All right then.

681
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:27,840
Here you are. I'll be looking forward
to seeing you.

682
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:39,520
Nine sharp. Hotel Atlantic.
Room 327. Anna Sergeyevna.

683
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:42,160
I have a gut feeling
it's a real fish this time.

684
01:10:42,440 --> 01:10:43,720
What does she look like?

685
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:49,400
I see.

686
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:52,400
Keep on your toes. I expect a better
show from you than last night.

687
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:55,240
I don't drink at all.
A friend invited me.

688
01:10:55,480 --> 01:10:57,160
By the way, how is he
after last night?

689
01:10:57,480 --> 01:10:59,480
I don't know, he didn't phone.

690
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:04,240
All right, go to the hotel
and act depending on the situation.

691
01:11:04,480 --> 01:11:06,400
There might be accomplices there,
check it out.

692
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:07,840
Is your gun with you?

693
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:11,520
The psychic one.

694
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,440
We'll hear your signal.
The note, please.

695
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,240
Chanel, number five.

696
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:22,800
I'll be seeing you!

697
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:05,160
Where are you going?
Ah, your mission.

698
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:09,440
- Be careful!
- I'll be all right.

699
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:26,200
I'll be back soon.

700
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:44,040
Hotel Atlantic

701
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,080
- The customer's here.
- Perfect.

702
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:03,880
Hello, Five? He just went in.

703
01:13:05,760 --> 01:13:07,160
Roger. Out.

704
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:26,240
Hotel Atlantic. Room 327.
Anna Sergeyevna. Nine o'clock.

705
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:32,440
Come in!

706
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:50,600
At last!

707
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,320
Good evening.
Have a seat. I'll be right with you.

708
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:14,600
What are you up to?

709
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:16,320
What's the matter?

710
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:20,320
My cuff link. It rolled under there.

711
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:24,520
Here, it came off.

712
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:27,040
You nearly frightened me to death.

713
01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:29,600
Let me help you.

714
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,280
I thought something had really gone
wrong.

715
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:36,680
See, my heart's thumping like crazy.

716
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,280
Feel it.

717
01:14:40,440 --> 01:14:41,720
Feel it.

718
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:43,680
I feel it.

719
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:49,080
As soon as he's asleep,
she'll turn out the lights.

720
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:51,080
What if he leaves?

721
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:54,920
- Could you leave a girl like that?
- But he's a faithful husband.

722
01:14:55,160 --> 01:14:57,080
There is no husband

723
01:14:57,320 --> 01:15:00,240
who has not longed to be a bachelor
at least for an hour.

724
01:15:02,920 --> 01:15:04,440
Look out for the signal!

725
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,520
How about that gown?

726
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:41,000
A friend's going to bring it
in a minute or two.

727
01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:43,880
- Do you mind waiting?
- No, I don't mind.

728
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:50,840
In the meantime, would you like
some wine?

729
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:56,320
I'd rather have... beer.

730
01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:00,600
I only have wine.

731
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:47,160
Here's to our chance encounter.

732
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:52,640
Come on, drink!

733
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,600
What's keeping your friend?
Maybe, I'll come back another time?

734
01:17:10,240 --> 01:17:11,600
Who cares about her anyway?

735
01:17:11,840 --> 01:17:13,760
My gown is as good as hers.

736
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:18,080
Let me show you.

737
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:58,320
It's not my fault, I swear!

738
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:01,520
He came here on his own!

739
01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:43,400
I saw your special mission.

740
01:19:44,640 --> 01:19:48,240
After such a monstrous lie,
I will not stay with you any longer!

741
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:53,160
I'm sure the children will understand
when they grow up.

742
01:19:54,120 --> 01:19:56,720
I'll take care of the divorce
formalities. Goodbye.

743
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:09,760
Good morning.

744
01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:17,960
I've got to leave right now
for Dubrovka.

745
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,960
Right! But not now.

746
01:20:20,720 --> 01:20:24,640
Tomorrow we'll send you a taxi.
Will eight o'clock be all right?

747
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:26,160
But why not today?

748
01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:28,960
Today we'll need your help.

749
01:20:30,480 --> 01:20:32,960
We want you
to meet your friend.

750
01:20:33,880 --> 01:20:36,800
The one you took a fishing trip with.
The man who invited you to dinner.

751
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:38,160
Ah, Gennady Petrovich...

752
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:41,560
You'll see him
and tell him casually

753
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,560
that at eight o'clock tomorrow,
you plan to go out to Dubrovka.

754
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,960
And, most importantly,
you'll tell him, also casually,

755
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:52,320
that the cast's coming off your arm
the day after tomorrow.

756
01:20:54,720 --> 01:20:56,720
- Is it Guesha?
- Yes.

757
01:20:58,640 --> 01:21:00,200
Then why haven't you...

758
01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:02,480
We didn't want to scare off
a more important fish.

759
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:15,920
ANNOUNCING COMRADELY TRIAL

760
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:19,080
OF THE DEBAUCHER AND
DRUNKARD S.S. GORBUNKOV

761
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:24,480
- You sing beautifully!
- Oh, come on...

762
01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:28,720
Have you known citizen Gorbunkov
for long?

763
01:21:28,960 --> 01:21:30,640
Yes, ten years, sorry to say.

764
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:35,480
So for ten years he hit the bottle,
debauched and led an immoral life?

765
01:21:35,720 --> 01:21:39,120
For ten years he has very cleverly
masked himself

766
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,640
as a decent person.
I didn't trust him, though.

767
01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:43,800
Don't you think we must always
trust people?

768
01:21:44,040 --> 01:21:46,960
I don't think
you can ever trust a man

769
01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:48,480
except in the most extreme cases.

770
01:21:48,720 --> 01:21:50,040
- That's really your opinion?
- Yes.

771
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:53,960
Listen... who are you anyway?

772
01:21:55,280 --> 01:21:58,480
I work with him.
Say, he's a colleague.

773
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:01,560
I see. Booze partner.

774
01:22:05,720 --> 01:22:07,000
You get out of here!

775
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:10,800
As you say among yourselves,
back to your cage!

776
01:22:11,040 --> 01:22:14,560
All right, butjust one question.
Did you use good glue to put it up?

777
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:17,200
Don't worry, lush,
you can't rip it off!

778
01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:18,600
Now take it off, please.

779
01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:22,120
Chief, we're done for.

780
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:25,040
The cast is going to be removed,
the customer's leaving...

781
01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:28,040
I'll kill him!..

782
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:40,640
Where are you going
so early in the morning?

783
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:42,360
To see my family at Dubrovka.

784
01:22:45,280 --> 01:22:47,240
Did you call for a taxi
to go to Dubrovka?

785
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:48,840
Yes, I did.

786
01:22:50,040 --> 01:22:51,320
Get in.

787
01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:54,720
- Goodbye.
- Have a nice trip.

788
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,280
Why didn't Mikhail Ivanovich
come?

789
01:23:17,280 --> 01:23:18,560
And Volodya?

790
01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:21,160
Are they busy?

791
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:26,440
- What is your rank?
- What rank?

792
01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:29,040
Are you like Volodya,
a lieutenant in the poIice?

793
01:23:31,840 --> 01:23:35,400
A lieutenant... First Lieutenant...

794
01:23:37,280 --> 01:23:40,800
May I, to impress my wife,
call you that?

795
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:42,480
Comrade First Lieutenant?

796
01:23:43,440 --> 01:23:46,600
- Is it all right if I do?
- Yeah, sure.

797
01:23:46,880 --> 01:23:49,800
And please be sure to tell her

798
01:23:50,040 --> 01:23:53,960
that you put me on a special mission
that evening at the hotel.

799
01:23:54,840 --> 01:23:58,440
And for her not to get worried,
just keep quiet

800
01:23:58,880 --> 01:24:02,520
about smugglers,
diamonds and gold.

801
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:06,880
Keep quiet? It can't be done.

802
01:24:08,320 --> 01:24:12,040
I have to consult about it
with the chief... with those above me.

803
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,200
- With Mikhail Ivanovich?
- Yes, with Mikhail Ivanovich.

804
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:19,600
Give him my best regards.

805
01:24:21,120 --> 01:24:24,200
Hello? Chief? It's me...

806
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,880
Chief, this is me, Lyolik!

807
01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:32,080
He took off for Dubrovka
twenty minutes ago.

808
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:37,160
In a taxi. It was a beige "Volga".
The number was 28-70 OGO.

809
01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:41,480
Roger. I got it.

810
01:24:42,400 --> 01:24:44,160
Guesha is nineteen kilometers out.

811
01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:48,120
To hell with him anyhow. Roger.

812
01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:50,600
We're going by a new operational
plan,

813
01:24:50,840 --> 01:24:53,000
keeping a low profile.

814
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:06,200
Mikhail Ivanovich sends his regards.

815
01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:10,600
Everything's going to be all right,
and even better.

816
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:15,160
Your old lady will get you fit as
a fiddle, without a cast.

817
01:25:15,400 --> 01:25:18,040
Mikhail Ivanovich has ordered
the cast removed today.

818
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:21,040
- You've caught him?
- You bet we have.

819
01:25:21,280 --> 01:25:22,720
- And who is it?
- Some dimwit.

820
01:25:28,160 --> 01:25:31,160
Why go back to your place?
No point in wasting time.

821
01:25:31,400 --> 01:25:34,000
We've got a spot by the road
where we can knock the cast off.

822
01:25:34,480 --> 01:25:36,920
To quote our dear chief...
Mikhail Ivanovich,

823
01:25:37,160 --> 01:25:39,560
you've got to strike the iron
when you're close to the swag.

824
01:25:42,160 --> 01:25:46,320
We're going to reduce it to shreds
and get at every stone and coin in it.

825
01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:50,440
Could you please take inventory
and make a list of everything?

826
01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:52,080
Sure, we're going to do it all legal,

827
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:55,600
with receipts and everything.
We'll even take your finger prints.

828
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:43,680
Our operation will take at most
about fifteen minutes.

829
01:26:43,920 --> 01:26:49,320
Soften down the plaster
while I pick all the stuff up.

830
01:26:50,040 --> 01:26:51,320
Lots of work.

831
01:26:51,480 --> 01:26:53,400
Gee, you've got everything it takes,
haven't you?

832
01:26:53,640 --> 01:26:55,320
We've got to scarper.

833
01:26:55,560 --> 01:27:01,480
The chiefjust gave me the order
to find another pad.

834
01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:03,520
So we move out of here.

835
01:27:07,760 --> 01:27:09,720
Your mustache... one side has come off.

836
01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:12,040
Thanks.

837
01:27:12,840 --> 01:27:14,120
Hands up!

838
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,000
Copter Seven, what do you see
on the road? Will you report?

839
01:28:27,360 --> 01:28:30,760
All I see is a milk truck

840
01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:33,160
going towards town.

841
01:28:33,760 --> 01:28:37,680
No sign of any taxi.
Am keeping on observing.

842
01:28:59,400 --> 01:29:01,400
End of Part One

843
01:29:01,640 --> 01:29:03,680
MOSFILM

844
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:09,080
THE DIAMOND ARM

845
01:29:09,360 --> 01:29:12,280
A screen novel in two parts
from the life of smugglers,

846
01:29:12,520 --> 01:29:13,920
with prologue and epilogue.

847
01:29:14,160 --> 01:29:15,440
Synopsis of Part One.

848
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:21,680
Part Two

849
01:29:21,920 --> 01:29:23,960
THE BONY LEG

850
01:30:22,320 --> 01:30:25,600
No beige taxi
ever entered Dubrovka.

851
01:30:25,840 --> 01:30:27,400
Will you inspect Quadrangle 45!

852
01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:36,280
Stop!

853
01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:40,040
Stop! Wait!

854
01:30:46,760 --> 01:30:49,400
- Could you take me to town please?
- What's up?

855
01:30:50,400 --> 01:30:52,960
It's a top secret affair of State!

856
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:57,160
- All right, climb in.
- You've got to hurry!

857
01:30:57,400 --> 01:30:58,760
I'm just learning to drive,
don't you see?

858
01:30:58,840 --> 01:31:00,120
We're short of time!

859
01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:03,920
Time is money.
When you see money, don't lose time.

860
01:31:04,560 --> 01:31:06,480
We must strike the iron
when we're close to the swag.

861
01:31:08,680 --> 01:31:10,480
Hands up!

862
01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:12,840
Both of you! Or this thing
will go off!

863
01:31:29,160 --> 01:31:31,160
They did it all for nothing.
There're no diamonds in there.

864
01:31:31,240 --> 01:31:32,520
There're not?

865
01:31:32,560 --> 01:31:35,480
Who ever told you
they were in the plaster?

866
01:31:35,720 --> 01:31:38,160
That man with the false mustache
figured the same thing.

867
01:31:38,480 --> 01:31:40,560
The police took them long ago, chief.

868
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:44,240
Hey, hold it! Stop, you morons!

869
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:49,320
To quote an old friend of mine
who's now buried,

870
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:51,840
"I knew too much."

871
01:31:54,160 --> 01:31:56,160
Seven calling Five and reporting

872
01:31:57,280 --> 01:31:59,320
that a cherry-colored "Moskvitch"
has been spotted

873
01:31:59,760 --> 01:32:01,520
on the forest road

874
01:32:01,760 --> 01:32:04,080
speeding toward
the national border.

875
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:10,680
Seven, listen to my orders!

876
01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:42,400
Mama!

877
01:32:42,560 --> 01:32:44,160
Lyolik, stop it!

878
01:32:45,480 --> 01:32:49,600
Easy, Kozlodoyev, there'll be room
for all of us in the can!

879
01:33:42,080 --> 01:33:45,240
NINA GREBESHKOVA

880
01:33:45,720 --> 01:33:48,560
STANISLAV CHEKAN

881
01:34:03,960 --> 01:34:06,440
VLADIMIR GULYAEV

882
01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:11,440
ANDREI MIRONOV

883
01:34:13,960 --> 01:34:17,000
ANATOLY PAPANOV

884
01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:20,960
SVETLANA SVETLICHNAYA

885
01:34:23,960 --> 01:34:27,480
NONNA MORDYUKOVA

886
01:34:28,520 --> 01:34:32,160
YURI NIKULIN

887
01:34:33,120 --> 01:34:35,800
The End